To Sarah, Love Josh.
So, most of you know me already, or you know of me. I'm Josh. Sarah's Josh…I got onto her live journal so I could randomly write something for her to find, so I thought I’d put something here.
I live in Oklahoma, and Sarah lives in Vegas. It is exactly 1136 miles from me to her at any given time. That sounds oddly obsessed I know, and I'm not sure I can deny being even just a little bit obsessed. She is on my mind on a very constant basis. Any time I write a song, or sing one, I've usually got Sarah on my mind. I'm a musician, in case any of you people haven't heard. I live, breathe, eat, talk, play, sing, write, read, see, hear, feel, love, hate, like, obsess over, and just generally am: Music. I write acoustic music, and I write heavy metal/speed metal/melodic metal. It's an interesting range. I guess it could be considered kind of weird, but in any song I write, there is a part somewhere that reminds me of Sarah in one form or another. In order to make that not sound weirdly obsessively stalkerish, I have to explain something else though.
I spend a lot of time thinking about people in general, and I usually associate them with something musical, such as an instrument, a melody, countermelody, bass line, cadence, styles like bolero's, cantina, minuet, ode, overture, something. Indeed, I am a very musically inclined person, and that affects a lot of what I do and say. I have a hard time when it comes to Sarah, trying to pin her to one thing. She's so varied and eclectic in so many ways, I can't just say, "walking bass line" or "that girl is melodic if I've ever heard it" she's too many things at once for something like that. She is herself, and no one else, but she still cares what everyone else thinks. In other ways, she likes what she likes, and to hell with the lot of you. Sarah is driven, and confident, and yet, occasionally she's a bum, and has self esteem about as tall as a penny is thick. Sometimes she has funny little flighty things to do or say, other times she is incredibly profound and thoughtful. She has her own opinions and standards, and then she has those of her friends. Don't get any of that confused though, she isn't a hypocrite, and yet she is. She's everywhere at once, and yet still standing in herself. She lives unimaginably far away from me, and yet, when we talk on the phone, she's curled up right next to me. I'm her confidence, her wall, her support, and sometimes her critic, and she saves my life every day., in every way imaginable. She fills the girl shaped hole in my world. XD
About the only way I can think of her, is Sarah is a whole song in and of herself. Not just a run of the mill song either. She's one of those songs that says something to me. Surely people here can relate. It's like one of those songs that means something to you, and sticks with you. She's like an Indie Rock song. Indie music, it's original, it's good, and it's always stuck in my head. Since that's about what she is to me, I can always think of some rhythm that is "shaped" like Sarah, or makes me think of her, and I have to plant it in a song.
I am very passionate about music, and I hope to make something of it someday, as a means of supporting myself. I seem to have reached a point in my life where I'm as passionate towards Sarah as I am my music. I would do anything in my power to make her smile, wrap her arms around me, and slow dance on the stratosphere, or see that look of surprise on her face when i walk into her living room the day after New Year’s. I live for the moments where I can make her smile, even just a little bit. That reminds me of something else....
Dear Sarah,
I was thinking about you today...
...I still am
Love,
Josh