Feel like you're treading water, but the rip tide's getting stronger...
It's interesting that I can be so outwardly fine about this. That is not to say that it still doesn't bother me, because it does. I'm not sad, persay. I still haven't cried about it. But I have this intense animosity towards him. Everytime I talk to him I just want to tell him how much I truly hate him for what he did to me and how as much as he feels he can justify it, there is no justification. I guess I just want an apology and then perhaps we can be alright. Though actually, as far as he's concerned we're just dandy. I haven't mentioned everything because I don't feel like getting into it, lest it come out completely unaccording to plans (which seems to be the case lately). Instead, our conversations are filled with formalities. This is the closest to just friends that I can ever recall. Kind of funny, I suppose.
I just hate how I have really grown accustomed to this cycle of liking each other, deciding to take it slow so he has just enough time to get my hopes up, him feeding me some excuse for why we doesn't want to date me, and then finding another girl very soon after. I keep telling myself that eventually there will be one that won't screw me over before anything even gets started, and I thought HE of all people was actually decent. However, I was proven wrong. So how, may I ask, can I look forward to something that I honestly don't know exists?
I guess it's really not that important. It just would be nice FOR ONCE to have someone there and actually believe they are going to stay there.
-Sarah
Anticipation is Love's best girlfriend. She is the one always wanting to go to the mall and meet new people. She always spends hours on end getting ready in the mirror and day-dreaming about how the evening will go. When Opportunity knocks at her door, Anticipation is always quick to answer. They spend some time together, but in the end Opportunity is not a lengthy visitor. Anticipation puckers up and leans in, but Opportunity pulls away saying, "Well, goodnight." As he closes the door in her face, she mutters, "But I thought..." in despair. After this, she sprints to her room and sobs into her pillow, full of disappointment. She will refuse to get out of bed for weeks, and the next time Opportunity comes to call he is met only by Anticipation's sister, Dread.
-"Anticipation & Company" by Sarah Misch
I just hate how I have really grown accustomed to this cycle of liking each other, deciding to take it slow so he has just enough time to get my hopes up, him feeding me some excuse for why we doesn't want to date me, and then finding another girl very soon after. I keep telling myself that eventually there will be one that won't screw me over before anything even gets started, and I thought HE of all people was actually decent. However, I was proven wrong. So how, may I ask, can I look forward to something that I honestly don't know exists?
I guess it's really not that important. It just would be nice FOR ONCE to have someone there and actually believe they are going to stay there.
-Sarah
Anticipation is Love's best girlfriend. She is the one always wanting to go to the mall and meet new people. She always spends hours on end getting ready in the mirror and day-dreaming about how the evening will go. When Opportunity knocks at her door, Anticipation is always quick to answer. They spend some time together, but in the end Opportunity is not a lengthy visitor. Anticipation puckers up and leans in, but Opportunity pulls away saying, "Well, goodnight." As he closes the door in her face, she mutters, "But I thought..." in despair. After this, she sprints to her room and sobs into her pillow, full of disappointment. She will refuse to get out of bed for weeks, and the next time Opportunity comes to call he is met only by Anticipation's sister, Dread.
-"Anticipation & Company" by Sarah Misch