Fortunately.. I'm not a good girl
Why Good Girls Always Want the Bad Boys
"I just want a nice guy," women whine. Then they date the first drunken leather-clad jerk who spills his drink on her dress. What gives?
Well, it's more than just because "nice" is generally considered shorthand for "boring sex." Here's why some babes love the allure of the bad boy.
It's Genetic
All of human history - and thus, our genetic programming -- rewards those brave enough to take risks. The cowardly caveman died in his lonely cavern, while the brave one ventured out and survived. Sure, the "dangerous" caveman might not be as pleasant to sit with by the fire at night, but he appealed to the cavewoman because he'd pass along stronger genes.
It's All In Our Heads
What's so sexy - and makes us feel so good - about being with the bad boy? For starters, he's got confidence, and that's sexy because it's a sign of strength. But there's more: dating the bad boy carries an element of risk. And risk triggers the production of the feel-good brain chemical dopamine. We may be intrigued by his notorious drug and alcohol problems (and he probably has 'em), but it's really our own "drugged" nervous system that does us in.
We Love a Challenge
Women love to play relationship therapist (just listen in on a conversation with our girlfriends if you need proof). In order to achieve this, we need to find a jerk to lie down on our couch. We love the idea of being the woman who solves this mysterious man's problems and turns him into our own Prince Charming.
We Know What to Expect
With bad boys, we know what to expect. We'll try to change them, it won't work, and we'll be left heartbroken. But, it will be entirely not our fault. Whereas if we date Mr. Nice Guy and doesn't work out, we're going to have to take some ownership of the failure. Some women are just more comfortable playing the victim.
"I just want a nice guy," women whine. Then they date the first drunken leather-clad jerk who spills his drink on her dress. What gives?
Well, it's more than just because "nice" is generally considered shorthand for "boring sex." Here's why some babes love the allure of the bad boy.
It's Genetic
All of human history - and thus, our genetic programming -- rewards those brave enough to take risks. The cowardly caveman died in his lonely cavern, while the brave one ventured out and survived. Sure, the "dangerous" caveman might not be as pleasant to sit with by the fire at night, but he appealed to the cavewoman because he'd pass along stronger genes.
It's All In Our Heads
What's so sexy - and makes us feel so good - about being with the bad boy? For starters, he's got confidence, and that's sexy because it's a sign of strength. But there's more: dating the bad boy carries an element of risk. And risk triggers the production of the feel-good brain chemical dopamine. We may be intrigued by his notorious drug and alcohol problems (and he probably has 'em), but it's really our own "drugged" nervous system that does us in.
We Love a Challenge
Women love to play relationship therapist (just listen in on a conversation with our girlfriends if you need proof). In order to achieve this, we need to find a jerk to lie down on our couch. We love the idea of being the woman who solves this mysterious man's problems and turns him into our own Prince Charming.
We Know What to Expect
With bad boys, we know what to expect. We'll try to change them, it won't work, and we'll be left heartbroken. But, it will be entirely not our fault. Whereas if we date Mr. Nice Guy and doesn't work out, we're going to have to take some ownership of the failure. Some women are just more comfortable playing the victim.