AU: January - When do you know it's love?
At eighteen years old, I can positively say that I've been in love twice. Say what you want about someone my age not being old enough to know what love is because your opinion simply won't matter to me. The first time, with him, it was fast. Not weeks after knowing him, or at least weeks after he stopped acting as if he hated my existence, I knew I was in love with him. It was the intense kind of love that you can't help but be wrapped up in completely. It hurt when he wasn't there and everything was perfect when he was.
So what if he was a vampire? Apparently, I have this thing about having danger following me around so I guess I decided to turn the tables and follow danger around instead. I was in love with a vampire and I never wanted anyone else. He was my world.
Until he physically pulled himself out of it and left.
I spent months being a zombie. Funny, right? I, the human girl who was in love with a vampire, became the dead zombie after he decided that I was better off and safer without him. Kind of ironic if you ask me, but what do I know? I'm only human.
So many months passed and even though the rest of the Cullens stayed in Forks, there was still a huge piece of me gone that ached all the time without him here. Like I was constantly trying to hold myself together so that I wouldn't literally fall apart. I started getting out of my zombie stage when Charlie, he's my dad, threatened to send me to Florida. I didn't want to leave. Maybe not because I knew this as home, but I didn't want to leave the places we'd spent together. His family was still here and even though being around them was painful sometimes, it was still a part of him that he left behind. Just like me. If I was really ever a part of him at all.
Jake was like the sun in my pathetic life after that. That boyish smile that I couldn't help but smile back at whenever he turned it on me. He helped me find a new kind of Bella that I never was able to be with .. Edward. A younger Bella, a more reckless Bella. It started out that I was riding motorcycles and wanting to jump off cliffs because I heard his voice in my head. That it was a way for him to be there to tell me what to do and protect me when he wasn't really there to do so.
The day I jumped off a cliff, no it wasn't to kill myself despite popular belief, I found out that I had a new protector. I think I'd known it all along, but this was different. Jake could be there to help me enjoy being a little more carefree, but he would always be there to make sure I didn't wind up dead because I guess I have a problem with doing stupid things or something.
For weeks he'd been telling me how he felt about me and I'd constantly told him that it wasn't anything more than friendship for me. Jacob Black was my best friend in every way and I wasn't whole without him. I was me again when I was with him. But then I finally realized I was in love with him too. That he wasn't just my best friend Jacob. That he was my Jacob.
Oh yeah, and he has this thing where he's a werewolf. Nobody said I couldn't stop following danger around, right?
So what if he was a vampire? Apparently, I have this thing about having danger following me around so I guess I decided to turn the tables and follow danger around instead. I was in love with a vampire and I never wanted anyone else. He was my world.
Until he physically pulled himself out of it and left.
I spent months being a zombie. Funny, right? I, the human girl who was in love with a vampire, became the dead zombie after he decided that I was better off and safer without him. Kind of ironic if you ask me, but what do I know? I'm only human.
So many months passed and even though the rest of the Cullens stayed in Forks, there was still a huge piece of me gone that ached all the time without him here. Like I was constantly trying to hold myself together so that I wouldn't literally fall apart. I started getting out of my zombie stage when Charlie, he's my dad, threatened to send me to Florida. I didn't want to leave. Maybe not because I knew this as home, but I didn't want to leave the places we'd spent together. His family was still here and even though being around them was painful sometimes, it was still a part of him that he left behind. Just like me. If I was really ever a part of him at all.
Jake was like the sun in my pathetic life after that. That boyish smile that I couldn't help but smile back at whenever he turned it on me. He helped me find a new kind of Bella that I never was able to be with .. Edward. A younger Bella, a more reckless Bella. It started out that I was riding motorcycles and wanting to jump off cliffs because I heard his voice in my head. That it was a way for him to be there to tell me what to do and protect me when he wasn't really there to do so.
The day I jumped off a cliff, no it wasn't to kill myself despite popular belief, I found out that I had a new protector. I think I'd known it all along, but this was different. Jake could be there to help me enjoy being a little more carefree, but he would always be there to make sure I didn't wind up dead because I guess I have a problem with doing stupid things or something.
For weeks he'd been telling me how he felt about me and I'd constantly told him that it wasn't anything more than friendship for me. Jacob Black was my best friend in every way and I wasn't whole without him. I was me again when I was with him. But then I finally realized I was in love with him too. That he wasn't just my best friend Jacob. That he was my Jacob.
Oh yeah, and he has this thing where he's a werewolf. Nobody said I couldn't stop following danger around, right?