English VS the backpacker
Now we are going to concentrate on the end of the spectrum where you meet a bunch of new people. In the world of backpacking (especially alone), you will meet as many people as you do in your first days and months of college. It’s a rush. It’s life in fast forward. You are a 9/10 when it comes to things in common. There are an army of people who are (at the moment) in exactly the same shoes as you. Back home, their situations vary from high school graduate to manager who just sold their business, but here in the sea, we are all the same.
You have a many of ice breakers including “Where are you from? Where are you going? And how long have you been here for?” This leads to a 3 hour conversation if time and language barriers permit. And if you get lucky enough to be in the same place, doing the same thing, for even as little as 48 hours, you can easily have forged a friend for life or a supercharged romance. But it’s not like college. You won’t get to spend the next 4 years of your life with these people. You have a day, an hour, or sometimes only a few minutes to meet these new people, before circumstance or itinerary, rips them away back into the sea of backpackers. Sometimes they poke their head above the water, weeks or even months later, sometimes for a day, sometimes a week, and sometimes for only a passing glance.
Here in lies the backpacker’s dilemma. You meet people who you never would have at home, but you can’t keep them. It’s a series of small losses that lead you to feel at the end of a month like you have suffered a serious loss. It’s the chronic water droplets that fall on your head that compile into a form of torture.
Often I feel jaded after I meet someone for the first time that is traveling in the opposite direction and leaving the next morning. You tend to learn how to read people in just a few moments which is a terrible skill because you can pick out the “would have been-s” instead of just turning a blind eye to the whole thing. Often I use my newly acquired skill of comfortable public solitude, but then get interrupted by a text message from a 48 hour friend that I have met a few weeks back. It’s a lot like bumping into a beautiful woman in the elevator of a sky scraper in New York. If you don’t say something at that very moment, they are gone forever. You simply will never see them ever again. Only the difference is that you did say something to that woman, every time, but you still won’t see them ever again. From the painfully beautiful Norwegians to the perfectly skinned Thais, to the mysteriously brilliant Israels, to the warm and friendly Dutch, to the brazilian girl who could have farted in her accent and made it sound sweet as a rose.
This isnt about women, its about everyone. there was one of my friends in new zealand who i get on almost as good as my best friends back home in years, we connected and just got on like we knew eachother since primary school. we had same sense of humour and pushed ourselves to do the craziest things, whilst be surrounded by the other cool friends we made in that country, english, dutch, irish, german and spanish. but when we went our different ways we both knew its unlikely we will meet again, (hes from califonia) was like saying bye to my closest friends back home. it sucks. but the cycle moves on and you meet other great people.
From the bold and deep feeling of joy and friendship I got from my English brothers to warm and accepting nature of the Italians who I have met. To the fun spanish friends i have made. I am not even in Europe but I have received a full dose of European culture. You find yourself running through the inner monologue again and again “If I had just me this person under a little different circumstance, maybe at home.” But that’s the whole point, you wouldn’t have met them at home, and if you did, you wouldn’t be in the same place in life. You wouldn’t be a 9/10 in common and you and they wouldn’t be as approachable or reciprocating as you are when backpacking. You would be late for work, or studying for a term paper, or just on your way to previous plans with your current friends or family.
But what if we weren’t this unapproachable at home? What if we maintained the mentality of a backpacker whilst at home? Could I be onto something? Would you instantly bump yourself over to the other end of the “meeting new people spectrum”? Or is it one of those recycling situations where it won’t really work unless everyone pitches in?
why cant it be as easy? why cant someone have the confidence of a backpacker and go to a club alone and make new friends and feel confident that by the end of the night your life has changed a little bit?
because in england, almost everyone is unapproachable. everyone has there friends and they are happy with it. because girls automatically assume if a guy chats to them they just wanna hook up. we are so un open minded. travelling has opened my eyes!!!
screw the system.
Some people are happy in their current rhythm. Some people don’t want to meet new people, or try new things, or go to new places. We are creatures of habit and I am absolutely no exception to the rule. At home I go to the same bars. clubs and shops every time because it has taken me over a year to get the rhythm down just right to find what I like and need in the first pass instead of wondering around for at least an hour.
This isnt me saying my travelling. im on about the whole box, everyone that i have met thats done it. this is some of the things we go through.
There is something to be said when it comes to being approachable though so if you are feeling a bit stalet at home and you want to try something new, just remember that it might be harder to create something new, but if you do seem to overcome the initial barriers, you can more than likely, actually, be on to something special and keep it.
You have a many of ice breakers including “Where are you from? Where are you going? And how long have you been here for?” This leads to a 3 hour conversation if time and language barriers permit. And if you get lucky enough to be in the same place, doing the same thing, for even as little as 48 hours, you can easily have forged a friend for life or a supercharged romance. But it’s not like college. You won’t get to spend the next 4 years of your life with these people. You have a day, an hour, or sometimes only a few minutes to meet these new people, before circumstance or itinerary, rips them away back into the sea of backpackers. Sometimes they poke their head above the water, weeks or even months later, sometimes for a day, sometimes a week, and sometimes for only a passing glance.
Here in lies the backpacker’s dilemma. You meet people who you never would have at home, but you can’t keep them. It’s a series of small losses that lead you to feel at the end of a month like you have suffered a serious loss. It’s the chronic water droplets that fall on your head that compile into a form of torture.
Often I feel jaded after I meet someone for the first time that is traveling in the opposite direction and leaving the next morning. You tend to learn how to read people in just a few moments which is a terrible skill because you can pick out the “would have been-s” instead of just turning a blind eye to the whole thing. Often I use my newly acquired skill of comfortable public solitude, but then get interrupted by a text message from a 48 hour friend that I have met a few weeks back. It’s a lot like bumping into a beautiful woman in the elevator of a sky scraper in New York. If you don’t say something at that very moment, they are gone forever. You simply will never see them ever again. Only the difference is that you did say something to that woman, every time, but you still won’t see them ever again. From the painfully beautiful Norwegians to the perfectly skinned Thais, to the mysteriously brilliant Israels, to the warm and friendly Dutch, to the brazilian girl who could have farted in her accent and made it sound sweet as a rose.
This isnt about women, its about everyone. there was one of my friends in new zealand who i get on almost as good as my best friends back home in years, we connected and just got on like we knew eachother since primary school. we had same sense of humour and pushed ourselves to do the craziest things, whilst be surrounded by the other cool friends we made in that country, english, dutch, irish, german and spanish. but when we went our different ways we both knew its unlikely we will meet again, (hes from califonia) was like saying bye to my closest friends back home. it sucks. but the cycle moves on and you meet other great people.
From the bold and deep feeling of joy and friendship I got from my English brothers to warm and accepting nature of the Italians who I have met. To the fun spanish friends i have made. I am not even in Europe but I have received a full dose of European culture. You find yourself running through the inner monologue again and again “If I had just me this person under a little different circumstance, maybe at home.” But that’s the whole point, you wouldn’t have met them at home, and if you did, you wouldn’t be in the same place in life. You wouldn’t be a 9/10 in common and you and they wouldn’t be as approachable or reciprocating as you are when backpacking. You would be late for work, or studying for a term paper, or just on your way to previous plans with your current friends or family.
But what if we weren’t this unapproachable at home? What if we maintained the mentality of a backpacker whilst at home? Could I be onto something? Would you instantly bump yourself over to the other end of the “meeting new people spectrum”? Or is it one of those recycling situations where it won’t really work unless everyone pitches in?
why cant it be as easy? why cant someone have the confidence of a backpacker and go to a club alone and make new friends and feel confident that by the end of the night your life has changed a little bit?
because in england, almost everyone is unapproachable. everyone has there friends and they are happy with it. because girls automatically assume if a guy chats to them they just wanna hook up. we are so un open minded. travelling has opened my eyes!!!
screw the system.
Some people are happy in their current rhythm. Some people don’t want to meet new people, or try new things, or go to new places. We are creatures of habit and I am absolutely no exception to the rule. At home I go to the same bars. clubs and shops every time because it has taken me over a year to get the rhythm down just right to find what I like and need in the first pass instead of wondering around for at least an hour.
This isnt me saying my travelling. im on about the whole box, everyone that i have met thats done it. this is some of the things we go through.
There is something to be said when it comes to being approachable though so if you are feeling a bit stalet at home and you want to try something new, just remember that it might be harder to create something new, but if you do seem to overcome the initial barriers, you can more than likely, actually, be on to something special and keep it.