I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have To Kill You 1/?
Title: I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have To Kill You
Author: K-Lee
Rating: R
Pairing: Kurt/Puck, Blaine/Finn
Spoilers: Characters from "Never Been Kissed".
Word Count: 4,129
Warnings: Hmmm....some sexual content......bad language......I think
that's it.
Summary: Dalton Academy is an all-boys school that specializes in only
geniuses. Every person outside of its walls believes it's a snooty,
rich school, but really, it trains smarticles to be spies. When one
student falls in love with an outsider, what can he do to hide the
biggest secret he has?
Author's Notes: The title and the plot is from a book I read about
spies. The only difference is the characters, the school, and the fact
that it's all-boys and not all-girls. The things that cause the rating
to be R will happen near the middle so be patient gleeks XD
~Chapter 1~
Kurt made sure his locker was shut tight. It's been known for students
to become traitors for whatever excuse. Kurt had heard enough of
people having valuables stolen, that's why he convinced the school
principal to use locks even the CIA couldn't get there hands on. It
wasn't hard. The principal did value his children's safety.
Kurt walked into the lunch room. On the sign, it read today's
language. French (France). Every day read a new language, whether it
was Mandarin or German. Kurt sat at his usual table. Blaine was
chattering about the new math teacher. "Like, seriously? Who would
assign nine freaking pages of math? I mean, I already studied
polynomials and Theorem 5-3. Only someone stupid would give something
as easy as that," Blaine said in French.
"So, you're not upset about the amount of homework, just the actual
lesson?" Finn, Blaine's long-time boyfriend and best friend, asked in
the same tongue. Blaine looked at Finn like he was crazy. "Finn! Have
you studied Theorem 5-3? Tell me you've studied Polynomials! That is
6th grade work!"
Finn sighed. It was useless to fight with Blaine when he had a serious
opinion. Kurt smiled at his friends. "I'll never understand what you
see in him," Kurt said to Finn. Finn laughed. "Neither do I." Blaine
hit his arm, but quickly kissed his cheek. Kurt rolled his eyes. Kurt
had always wanted what his brother had. Love. Blaine never bragged.
Blaine knew his little bro wanted what he had. But it was hard being
father's favorite. Blaine didn't mind, but he hated how much it
bothered Kurt. Nobody wanted to date the father's boy.
Kurt finished his lunch and once the bell rang, he left to class. "Ok,
boys. Mechanics 101. How do you pick a lock?"
Blaine raised his hand. "I'm sorry, Mr. Stevens, but that is the
easiest question to ask." Mr. Stevens smirked. "You didn't let me
finish. Who knows how to pick the lock of a 9KG?" Kurt raised his
hand. "Well, that depends. What materials do we have?" Mr. Stevens
smirked. "Good question. Hmm....a feather." Everyone oo'd at that. A
feather was the hardest material to use when picking a lock. But, Kurt
smirked back. "Put the feather in the 2.0 barrel and twist it until
the 54GD breaks. Once that's done, lick the point of the feather and
stick it the compartment 23B and abbra gadabra! You picked a 9KG."
Kurt grinned. Mr. Stevens looked impressed. "Nice job, Kurt."
Kurt went back to his books and wrote notes until the bell rang.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What do you think tonight's mission will be?" Finn asked excitedly.
Blaine grinned. "Better be mission 74. I've been studying that one."
Kurt sighed. "Doesn't matter, isn't it all the same?" Blaine put his
hand over his heart and gave Kurt his horror face. "No! Kurt, missions
each have their one originality! You MUST be prepared for whatever's
thrown at you!" Kurt rolled his eyes at Blaine's lecture. "Don't you
ever wonder what it's like to be outside? Like, away from all this?
Don't you ever dream of being.....something that's not a spy?"
Blaine looked at Kurt as if he had grown a second head. "Nope. Finn
and I will be the greatest spy duo. It'll be like the good Bonnie and
Clyde." Blaine looked over at his brother. "Sorry." Kurt sighed.
"What's the point? Don't ruin your love life over my stupid
fantasies." Kurt walked away, not bothering to wait for Blaine.
Finn shrugged. "I still feel bad for him." Blaine nodded as he watched
his brother leave. "I know."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That night, after everyone was asleep, he snuck out if his room. He
heard the "creak, creak" of Blaine's bed. Finn was here. As if the
moans and whispered curses wasn't any other indication. Kurt snuck
past his father's office. The lights were on, which made it harder to
pass by. But Kurt knew what he was doing. He went through a secret
tunnel that he and Blaine found leads outside. Kurt ran through it and
climbed the wall that surrounded the school.
He was free! He opened his jacket and let the fall breeze blow his
hair. The lamps were on, making the streets look mysterious. Kurt
rounded each corner with caution. He arrived at the town plaza. The
floors were made of stone and benches circled the area. Kurt sat in
his favorite bench and smelled the fresh air. It felt....normal. He
closed his eyes and relaxed.
"Hey, you ok?" Kurt snapped up at the voice. A boy about his age stood
in front of him. He was tan-ish and a strip of hair went from his
hairline to the back of his skull. An attempt at a Mohawk, Kurt
thought. The boy wore black studs as earring and his hands were
stuffed into his jeans. "Dude, you ok?" Kurt nodded. "Fine." The boy
put his hands up. "Sorry. I've never seen you here before and you
looked....upset." Kurt shrugged. "Whatever."
The boy sat next to him. "Why are you so uptight?" Kurt gave the boy a
look. "I don't even know you." The boy smiled and held out his hand.
"I'm Puck." "Puck? What kind of a name is that?"
Puck laughed. "My real name is Noah. But everyone calls me Puck.
What's your name?" Kurt shrugged. "Come on. Don't be like that." Puck
said. Kurt smiled a little. "Kurt." "Yea, that's a million dollar
name." Kurt laughed. "Shut up."
They sat in silence in the cold fall night. Puck sighed and sat back
on the bench. "So, you never told me what you were upset about." Kurt
paused. What if this guy wasn't as innocent as he suspected at first?
It was normal spy instincts to suspect everybody. But, Puck? Kurt felt
like he can tell him anything and Puck would understand. "Um, have you
ever wanted something....different? Like, people expect you to be
something you don't want to be, and when you tell them they just don't
get it?"
Puck nodded. "My mom wants me to take over her stupid pharmacy. Me? I
just wanna make music." Kurt like the nonchalant way Puck acted. "Yea,
my dad is the same. He wants me to be a........doctor! But.......I
don't want to be. I really like music as well." That last part was
true. Kurt often thought about being a musician. Puck nodded.
"It's cool, bro, you’re not alone." Puck grinned and Kurt blushed at the
way Puck was looking at him. A beep sounded from Kurt's phone and he
answered the call. "Hello?"
"Kurt! You better get here now! Dad was looking for you and he's
pissed you that weren't here. Hurry!"
Kurt shut his phone off. "I gotta go." he said as he stood. Puck held
his arm. "But, I want to see you again. When will you be back?" Kurt
shrugged. "I'll definitely be close.....Um," he turned a saw a loose
stone. "There! Leave a note here and I'll leave one if I read yours.
Like, secret notes or something."
Puck nodded and smiled as Kurt walked away........
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Burt Hummel was angry. He never thought his son would go against
school rules and sneak out at night.
Kurt sat in the chair across from his father, his back straight and
his head down. "Do you have any idea what could have happened to you?
What if you got hurt? Or worse?" Kurt nodded. "I'm sorry."
Burt stared at his son. He forgot how big he was getting. How mature.
Kurt was taller than before and his eyes held that look Burt used to
have. "Kurt, I care about each and everyone of these students, but
you're my son. I can't let you get hurt. Your mom-"
"Stop, dad. I know I'm in trouble and I'll take whatever punishment
you have in mind." Burt didn't push the issue. He knew it hurt Kurt to
mention his mother and it was stupid for him to bring her up. "No one
has any idea what you're in here for. I'll let this slide. Just this
once Kurt. You do it again, you get suspended."
Kurt nodded and stood, taking his book bag on the way out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You're really stupid for thinking you'd get away with sneaking out.
Please, just tell me one thing.....was that the first time?" Blaine
asked in German, the language of the day. Kurt sighed. "No, but......"
Kurt looked around to see if anyone was listening.”But, I have to go
out again. I met this guy-"
"Ooo, is he handsome? Gorgeous? Spill!" Kurt laughed at his brother's
impatience. "He's tan and, just, amazing. I feel so....normal around
him." Blaine smiled. He looked over at Finn who was listening. "Babe,
we need to make sure Kurt and this guy is, like, an item." "Whoa,
dude, I didn't say I wanted to date him!" "But, you thought it."
Kurt blushed. Yea, he's thought about it. A lot. "Ok," his brother
went on,” Kurt will sneak out today. Tell him your homeschooled and
only visited for a while. Tell him the address I'm about to give you.
It's all the way in Canada, so he won't suspect anything, but it will
really lead here. You can have a long distance relationship
without.....the long distance."
Kurt grinned. "You're a genius!" Blaine smiled and sat back in his seat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kurt sat on the regular bench that night. He waited, hoping Puck would
come back. "Hey." Puck was as gorgeous as the first time Kurt saw him.
Kurt smiled and moved over on the wooden bench so Puck could sit. Puck
smiled. "So, what brings you here this late?" Kurt laughed. "I should
be asking you the same thing." Puck grinned. "Your laugh is cute."
Kurt shoved his hands into his jacket pockets and looked down, his
bangs falling in his eyes.
Kurt suddenly remembered the reason he was here. "Um, well, I'm sort
of....homeschooled and I hate to say this, but.......I'm moving soon
and we might have to just.....write." Puck sighed. "Oh, when are you
leaving?" Kurt froze. They hadn't thought of that. "Two weeks." Puck
smiled. "So, we need to spend a lot of time together, huh?" Kurt
nodded slowly.
"What's wrong? You know, I like spending time with you, and I don't
normally say that to anyone-"
"No, it's not that I don't like spending
time with you, it's just, my dad." Kurt replied honestly. It wasn't a
lie. Puck nodded. "Yea, I understand. But, if you can sneak out now,
you can sneak out again." "How'd you know I sneak out?"
"If your dad won't let you out in the morning, I doubt he'd let you
out at night." Puck grinned at his logic. Kurt smiled. "Ok, I think
the overnight movie theater is open, wanna check it out?"
They sat inside the movie theater with popcorn and sodas. Puck had
held Kurt's hand and it made Kurt all happy inside. "So, are you gay?"
Kurt had asked when he felt Puck's warm hand on his. "Well, I'm
holding your hand, right?" Kurt had giggled and laid his head against
Puck's shoulder. It was nice.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three days later and Puck had taken Kurt to every overnight place.
They ate Chinese food and mulled over each other’s fortunes. They had
went to the baseball diamond and laid on the grass, looking up at the
stars. They had sat on the bleachers and held each other in the cold
night air.
The third night, Kurt stood under the bleachers with Puck. Puck had
kissed him as they laid on the grass and persuaded him to continue
under the bleachers. Kurt was already panting after 3 minutes. Puck
nipped the skin on his neck and Kurt has gasped and grabbed the hair
on Puck's mohawk. Kurt brought him back to his lips and sucked on his
bottom lip. Puck moaned and slid his hands under Kurt's shirt. Puck's
hands were cold from the breeze and Kurt shuddered when those same
hands pinched his nipples.
"Puck," he whispered shakily. Puck's tongue felt warm and soft as it
soothed the bite marks on Kurt's neck. Puck's hands moved to Kurt's
belt. "Puck," he said, this time firmly. "We can't do this," he said
when Puck moved so he can see Kurt. "Why not?" Kurt raised an eyebrow.
"Maybe because we've only known each other for three days?" Puck
shrugged.
Kurt moved away. "I'm not like that, Puck. You have to at least get to
know me and it would be nice if you did it because you like me, not
because you want to get in my pants." Puck sighed. "I do like you. A
lot. But, Puckzilla lives on sex." Kurt shrugged. "Well if Puckzilla
wants to be with me, he has to hold sex."
Puck looked up before sighing again. "Ok, Kurt. I really do like you.
I'll even consider holding sex off just for you." Kurt smiled and
grabbed Puck in, exploring Puck's mouth with his tongue.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kurt lay back on his bed, his arms folded behind his head. He stares
at the ceiling. "Do you think it's going too far?" "No, I think it's
going perfectly. As long as you don't sleep with him too soon, you'll
be alright." Blaine replied from the corner of the room. He was doing
his usual Saturday yoga and giving his little brother advice. Finn sat
on the floor, a magazine in his hands and more surrounding him. "Yea,
if he's a good guy, he can wait for sex." Finn said, his mouth filled
with chips. Blaine sighed. "Babe, eating so much will only get you
fat. That's why you couldn't fit through the tunnel in our surprise
mission." Finn pouted and observed his hand full of potatoes chips
before stuffing them in his mouth again. Blaine shook his head at his
boyfriend. Kurt grinned as he watched his two closet friends.
"Yea, my best friends are great examples in relationships." Finn
raised an eyebrow, "Brother's can be best friends?" Blaine shook his
head at Finn again. "Don't ask retarded questions."
Kurt sat up. "You think I could sneak out and....um....see Puck?"
Blaine smiled. "Sure! We'll definitely cover for you!" Kurt smiled and
went through his closet. He chose a pair of skinny jeans, a button-
down black shirt, leather boots, and his beige military jacket. He
brushed and combed his hair a million times and put on some gloss. He
grabbed his bag and swung it over his shoulder. "See you and thanks!"
Kurt snuck out through his secret tunnel and over the wall. He walked
towards the plaza. It was unusual being here in the mornings, but he
hoped Puck would be here. He turned to his right. Puckerman and
Puckerman Pharmacy was a solid, white building. Kurt took a deep
breath and walked through the automatic, glass sliding doors. Puck
stood behind the counter, his head on his palm as he liked down at the
football magazine in front of him.
"How may I help you?" he asked in a bored tone. Kurt moved his head to
look at Puck's face. "Um, Puck? It's me." Puck stood straighter.
"Kurt! What are you doing here?" Kurt was a little confused. Puck
sounded.....worried? "I came to see you. Is that a problem?" Puck
shook his head at Kurt's tone. "No, it's not. I just....I'm sorry.
Let's start over. Hey, Kurt." Kurt smiled a little. "Hey, Puck." He
looked around to see if anyone was watching before leaning in and
giving a quick peck on Puck's lips. Puck grinned and leaned against
the counter. "So, is their anything else you need? Foot cream, pepto-
bismol, condoms?" Kurt laughed. "I didn't know pharmacies sold
condoms." Puck grinned and spoke to Kurt for the rest of the day.
At five in the afternoon, Puck locked up the store and shoved his
hands in his jeans pockets. "Whataya want to do?" Kurt put his
fingertip at the corner of his mouth. "Hmmm....how about a movie?"
Puck nodded, but still looked a little nervous.
Kurt sat in the passenger seat of Puck's beaten up car. Kurt didn't
know much about cars, but this one looked like it was once new. In the
80s. "You ok, Puck? You seem.....jumpy." Puck shrugged. "Just, you
know, excited about seeing the movie." Kurt raised an eyebrow. "You're
excited to see 'Love Spelled Backwards is Love'?" Puck nodded. "It's a
classic."
Kurt sighed. Puck was like any teenage boy. They're all confusing.
Puck opened the passenger do for Kurt and they waited at the ticket
booth.
After buying a gigantic soda and two small popcorn bags, they sat all
the way in the back of the dark theater. Nobody was inside which
probably gave them a clue that the movie sucked. Kurt ate his popcorn
silently as he watched the previews. "You know, I didn't bring you to
see the worst movie ever in a theater that's empty, for you to watch
the movie, right?" Kurt chuckled. "Oh, good. The beginning sucks
anyway."
Puck grinned and pressed his lips against Kurt's. Kurt moved the
armrest up and out of the way without breaking the kiss. He threw
himself on Puck's lap and let Puck's tongue play with his. His supply
of air was running out, but he didn't want to stop. He undid the first
couple of buttons and, when Puck didn't stop him, undid the rest. He
moved Puck's shirt and slid his fingers over Puck's chest. His abs
were incredible and turned Kurt on so much. He felt Puck's fingertips
take our his shirt from his pants and felt Puck's fingers over his
nipples. He shuddered and came up for air. Puck kept kissing him,
moving from his lips to his jaw to his neck. Kurt rubbed his hard on
Puck's leg and moaned at the friction. He kept moving against Puck's
thigh, taking in the soft replies Puck was giving him. It surprises
Kurt how much it turned him on when Puck spoke dirty to him. It was so
good and he kept the friction, his breathing turning into panting. He
nuzzled his face into Puck's neck and nipped the skin there.
Puck was coming undone in his pants and Kurt was so close himself. He
sped up his grinding and soon he felt himself come in his pants.
"Shit, Puck! I ruined my favorite pants." Kurt pouted and watched Puck
with pleading eyes. "What? Am I supposed to make it up to you?" Kurt
nodded and grinned. Puck gave him a wary look," I'm supposed to buy
you new jeans, huh?" Kurt nodded. "Size 9 in women." Puck sighed.
"Oh," Kurt added," and they must be fashionable." Puck rolled his
eyes, but smiled and gave a peck to Kurt's lips. The lights went on
and the two boys left.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kurt sat on his bed, holding his favorite pants. They were ruined. He
just new it. He'd tried everything to get rid of the stain in the
front of his jeans. He sighed.
"Need help?" Blaine leaned against the door, his hand out. Kurt gave
him the jeans. "It's ruined." Blaine shook his head. "I got it." He
disappeared and Kurt decided to do some studying.
An hour later, Blaine cane back, jeans in hand. Kurt stood and grabbed
them. They were clean and looked as good as new. "Blaine, you're the
best!" Kurt hugged his older brother. Blaine laughed and hugged Kurt
back. Although, Blaine was one year older, Kurt had always looked up
to his brother. Blaine had always been there for Kurt, for even the
smallest things. This was a reminder to Kurt how awesome his brother
was. Blaine grinned. "So, since I cleaned your pants, wanna tell me
how it go that big stain?" Kurt blushed and lay on his bed, waiting
for Blaine to sit next to him.
"It was the hottest thing ever! He purposely bought tickets to the
worst movie and since the theater was empty, we.....um.......made-
out." Blaine grinned. "Must have been a hell of a make-out session!"
Kurt nodded. "Oh, yea." They laughed.
"Kurt?"
"Yea?"
"Are you happy? You know, with him?"
Kurt smiled. "Yea, very."
He turned his head to look at his brother. Blaine looked.......upset?
"Blaine, is there something you need to tell me?" Blaine looked at his
brother before saying, "No, just.....happy for you." "You haven't
dated him, right?"
Kurt had no knowledge of his brother's past boyfriends or whether they
were in this school. It would make sense why his brother would be
upset. How would you feel if your younger brother was happy with your
ex? Blaine shook his head. "No! Definitely not, Kurt. Trust me. I've
just seen him around." Kurt was immediately curious. "What do you
mean?" "Well, you know when we go on those fake trips so people could
see that we're a real school? I've seen him around and.....his friends
are jerks." Kurt nodded. That explained his nervousness earlier. He
was afraid his friends would tease him. Kurt knew how that felt. Well,
used to. Before people found out his daddy was the principal. "Ok,
I'll stay clear of his friends." Blaine nodded, but still seemed
uneasy. Before Kurt could question further, Finn came in. "Hey, Kurt,
Principal Hummel wants to see you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kurt sat across from his dad. "Everything ok, dad?" Burt nodded and
closed his eyes. "Have you been sneaking out again?" Kurt shook his
head. "Why would you say that?" Burt gave his son a look. "You keep
fidgeting." "It's just, you never call me in unless I did something
wrong. Did I?"
Burt shook his head again. "No, Kurt. I just wanted to know how you're
doing with your classes." Kurt sighed in relief. "Oh, it's good. I
mean, Blaine and I don't think it's challenging enough, but that's
fine. We can deal with it." Burt nodded. "I have something to tell
you. A new teacher is taking over Phys Ed." "What happened to Dr.
Lorenz?"
"He lost a lot of blood and had his leg amputated when he fell out of
Air Force 1 and into the Atlantic Ocean."
Kurt nodded. “Oh.”
Burt stood. “But, we have a new teacher to take over. Kurt, I’d like you to meet Mr. O”
A man in his late twenties entered the room. He had light brown hair and his eyes were a mix of blue and green. He smiled at Kurt, but didn’t move to shake his hand. There was something off about his look.
“Mr. O, I’d like you to meet my son Kurt. My first son is on his way.” As if on cue, Blaine entered. “What’s up, dad?” Burt introduced the new teacher and said, “Please, take a seat.” Blaine sat next to Kurt and hooked his arm inside Kurt’s. Burt spoke up. “I just wanted you to meet my sons for the simple reason they are very outspoken.” Kurt held up a finder.
At Burt’s nod he said, “We Hummel boys are very proper in our manners. For example, we always shake hands when we meet someone new. You didn’t and I will let it slide for the simple fact that you are new. However, if you continue to be rude I will put in a word with my father and you will be shipped to Japan faster than you could say ‘sorry’. Understood?” Burt gave his son a warning look and Blaine smirked. Mr. O nodded. “I shall keep that in mind.” Blaine held his hand up. “Father, Kurt and I have some shopping to do, so if you don’t mind me stealing him away for a while?” Burt waved his hand.. “Very well. Be back before curfew.” Blaine nodded and dragged Kurt towards the office doors….
TBC