Early AM Blues

[adamjames17]

The pure act of missing that last rope, that last stretch....unbearable
I worry that I will never feel complete
I worry that it will be just a little more this, fix that
maybe, just maybe --will this make me happy?

I need to work each day toward a happier heart
a more confident stride
and that light in my eyes
I need to care, to really truly care, about ME
I need to want to get up
To want to learn
To want to read
To want to bike
To want to go to work
To want to cook
To want to eat
To want to LIVE
TO ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF LIVING

Sometimes I need affirmations
Sometimes I need a comforting phrase
What I really need is confidence and power within myself

I must not fear
Fear is the mind-killer
Fear is the little death
that brings total obliteration
I will face my fear
I will permit it to pass over me and through me
and when it has gone past
i will turn my inner eye to see its path
and where the fear has gone there will be nothing
only i will remain--DUNE Frank Herbert
--this litany gives me strength sometimes

I must sleep
I need to get up early
Time for bed