Kiss My Tears Away
Title: Kiss My Tears Away
Author: adamissexable
Disclaimer: Not mine, but God the things I'd do if it was.
Pairing: Kradam
Rating: PG for kisses and swearing
Notes: Quick write for kradam_kiss and first piece of fluff so don't chew me out! D:
Enjoy!
“Look at me, Adam.” Kris splayed a hand out across Adam’s chest, shoving him hard enough to stumble backwards into the wall. He closed the space between them in one quick step, clenching his fists at his side and gritting his teeth.
Adam didn’t flinch, his glassy eyes still averted to somewhere over Kris’s shoulder.
Kris huffed. “Adam, they don’t mean shit and you know it.” He curled his fingers into the fabric of Adam’s shirt and tugged. “Look at me.” It was a snarl and Kris tried to keep his anger intact, ignoring the part of his mind that immediately noticed how close their faces were.
He watched Adam snap his gaze down reluctantly, shocked by the tone Kris never used. Kris was too wound up to care, trying insanely hard not to lose himself in those iridescent blue eyes. “They, those…assholes. They mean nothing. Not a fucking thing.”
Kris watched Adam’s blue eyes go colder than ice, his jaw clenching and unclenching with each inhale. It might have been menacing had Kris not been so infuriated himself.
“You know who you are, you are comfortable with yourself. Don’t let them take a single fucking piece of that away from you.” Kris took a step back and dropped the hand from Adam’s shirt. He ran a hand through his hair furiously and hung his head.
Kris cocked his head back up when Adam spoke only a few seconds later. He thought it was ridiculous that Adam’s eyes looked even better, moisture clinging to the tips of his eyelashes like small, faceted diamonds when he blinked. He wasn’t actually crying though, not yet.
“No, Kris. They’re right. I am exactly everything they said.” Adam’s voice cracked slightly and Kris watched him lift a hand to cover his eyes, noting the small pink, moon-like crescent marks on his palm. More than likely from nails digging painfully into his skin; Kris was sure his hands looked the same.
When Adam revealed his eyes again, Kris’s found his own locking there, watching the tears threaten to spill over. He felt his anger dissipate at that small observation. Kris stepped forward and attempted to pull Adam off the wall by his shoulders.
“Damnit, Kris. Just go. Please, just go.” Kris stopped trying the second he heard the barely audible hitch in Adam’s breathing. It sent a chill down his spine. Adam didn’t cry in front of anyone.
Kris refused to go, instead sliding his hands up Adam’s shoulders and interlocking his fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck. He crushed his body to Adam’s fully, trying to ignore the shock that coursed through his body at the action. This was nothing different than any other hug, less than normal even considering Adam wasn’t reciprocating.
He felt Adam’s arm tense and Kris flinched when he felt a hand on his jaw. He cocked his head up, expecting to be hit or slapped or something of the sort. But there was no hostility in Adam’s eyes, just resentment and pain and it was just so sad Kris was willing to do anything to stop it, even for a second.
Adam whimpered. Kris thought his heart might have shattered at the sound, so agonized, so uncharacteristic he thought he might be losing his mind. “Adam…Adam, talk to me.”
He watched the tears roll down Adam’s face quickly and some unknown force had him lifting his hand to run them across Adam’s cheeks. “Adam, don’t. Adam, please. Don’t.” Kris was surprised at how foreign his voice sounded to his own ears, desperate and kind of hoarse. He couldn’t be sure why.
Adam covered his face in his hands and slid down the wall, taking Kris down with him. Kris stumbled at first, sort of falling against Adam’s limp figure, before rising to his knees and curling his body around Adam’s shaking one protectively. Adam was bigger, but it didn’t matter.
“They were right, so right,” Kris jumped when Adam spoke through tears, muffled and a little hysterical laugh following. Adam’s eyes appeared from beneath his hands, vulnerable and unnerving. “When they said,” Adam hiccoughed, smiling wryly, “I’m a fag, a fucking diva. I’m going to be just like the rest of them.”
Kris felt his jaw drop, but quickly regained his composure when he watched a shudder roll through Adam. “I don’t ever want to hear you say that again.” He said it through clenched teeth, cupping Adam’s jaw and feeling warm moisture hit his wrist. Kris felt the irrational urge to taste it, but quickly reprimanded himself - he must be losing his mind.
“Do you know how much more you mean than them? To the people that matter most. Your family, your friends, your fans. Me. I don’t give a fuck what they have to say.” Kris’s breathing was slightly ragged and he tried to flex out the sudden tightness of his muscles.
Adam turned his head to the side and let another sob rip through his chest. Kris pressed closer to Adam, nudging his legs to straighten out so he could sit in between. This wasn’t a time for space, Kris didn’t want any space. “Listen to me, Adam. You are amazing, the most kind, genuine person I’ve ever known. I won’t let them take you down, it’s going to take a hell of a lot more than some empty words to get through Kris Allen.”
Kris’s attempt at lightening the situation didn’t work, Adam kept his head turned the other way, his chest rising and falling unevenly. “You want to know something?” He let his voice soften and leaned into Adam a little more, resting his forehead against his chest. Personal space be damned, Kris needed the contact. “When someone says something funny, I look around to see if you’re laughing. Even if you’re not there.”
He paused for a few seconds, feeling Adam’s heartbeat pick up against his cheek. His voice dropped even lower. “And when we’re hugging or you’ve got an arm wrapped around me or when I accidently brush your thigh when we’re walking next to each other…” Kris heard a small hitch in Adam’s breathing, but didn’t lift his head to see what caused it. “All I feel is heat. I can’t think about anything else but you. It’s like when you’re touching me…all my senses are intensified. I can smell you, hear the way your shirt rustles against your skin, feel every curve and ridge of your body, and I swear I could sit and count every single freckle.” His lips formed a wry smile, so lost in the moment he couldn’t manage to bring his filter back. “I can taste you around me, too. Like your scent, except better because it’s there and on my tongue and just amazing.”
“Kris.” Kris brought his head off of Adam’s chest, bright blue and teary eyes directly in front of him. He thought he could see his entire life reflecting back at him, every good thing that had and would ever happen to him. Right there in those eyes.
He ran a hand up Adam’s chest to cup his jaw, stroking the side of his face tenderly. This was what Kris needed, what Kris was searching for. It just explained so much, the heat, the yearning for something he couldn’t have.
“Kris, what’re you doing?” Adam breathed out, his dark eyelashes fluttering slightly.
Kris didn’t allow himself to think, just feel. The heat. The warmth that burned through his body at this very second, just from the contact. He rose to his knees and curled his hand around the other side of Adam’s jaw. Kris couldn’t do anything but feel, he just needed to feel.
His lips crushed Adam’s softly, unsure, a question in the kiss. He coaxed Adam’s mouth slowly, waiting for a response. When he never get one he pulled back, but he didn’t stop.
“Come on, Adam.” Kris crooned softly, running kisses across his jaw line where his hands met Adam’s skin, his eyelids, his temple, his nose, his cheeks and dragging his lips back down to Adam’s. “Feel with me,” Kris breathed before sliding his mouth against Adam’s again, a low keening noise escaping Adam’s throat when he finally reciprocated.
Kris lost himself completely, giving into his senses, feeling, tasting, smelling, hearing, seeing everything. It was every cliché in the book and more. It spread like fire through his lips, down his throat, curling somewhere deep in the pit of his stomach. Every nerve in his body was alight with it, fluttering against his skin like it might break through.
He gasped when Adam slid a tongue against his bottom lip slowly, cautiously. Kris could feel the tension in the kiss; Adam was afraid.
Kris took the initiative and parted his lips, crushing himself closer to Adam and running hands up his face to thread through his hair. He tangled his tongue with Adam’s, slowly, so sweet the back of his mind registered tears that might have been his. They weren’t battling for dominance, there was trust in the way they took turns exploring, hope in the way Adam allowed Kris whatever he wanted. Maybe even a bit of commitment, Kris could taste it on his tongue, in the way Adam nipped at his bottom lip possessively, kissing with more vigor with each second passed.
Kris couldn’t have said what his own name was by time they both pulled away from each other. His breathing was heavy and he fought the urge to capture Adam’s lips again, now swollen and shiny, instead ducking his head into Adam’s neck and allowing the tears to overflow. Kris cried for the moment, the security of what could be, the final realization of what this meant, what finally kissing Adam felt like. He thought he’d never want to go without it again.
He let Adam coax the tears out of him, crying muffled sobs into the fabric at his chest, at one point grappling at his neck to make sure he was real, that he was there. Kris was out of his mind with emotion, feeling too many things at once.
“I love you Kristopher, more than my own life.” Adam’s voice was wrecked when he spoke into the shell of Kris’s ear just a few moments later, hoarse with tears of his own. “But I won’t be able to handle it if tomorrow you wake up and regret doing this.”
Kris lifted his head up from the crook of Adam’s neck and let himself drown in those blue eyes. He leaned forward and kissed the tears that ran down Adam’s cheeks slowly, watching his eyes flutter every time Kris’s lips met his freckled skin. He took his time, dragging his mouth back to Adam’s, pressing warm lips to him and feeling the fire flare up once again. This kiss was heavier, not as sweet at first, full of lust and want and need. Kris thought he might pass out from lack of oxygen.
Adam’s lips left his slowly, sucking Kris’s bottom lip into his mouth as he released it completely. Kris watched the crooked grin reflect back at him, both trying to catch their breath. He blushed when Adam’s eyes continued observing his face, turning his gaze down at the warmth that ran up the back of his neck.
“Look at me, Kris.” Kris heard Adam’s croon, picking his gaze back up slowly. There was a question in his eyes and Kris was more than eager to answer.
He leaned his forehead against Adam’s lightly, smiling so wide his cheeks hurt. “I love you, Adam Lambert and I won’t ever leave you.” Kris pulled away to flutter slow, sweet kisses along Adam’s jaw and breathed, “I can promise you that.”
COMMENTS <3
Author: adamissexable
Disclaimer: Not mine, but God the things I'd do if it was.
Pairing: Kradam
Rating: PG for kisses and swearing
Notes: Quick write for kradam_kiss and first piece of fluff so don't chew me out! D:
Enjoy!
“Look at me, Adam.” Kris splayed a hand out across Adam’s chest, shoving him hard enough to stumble backwards into the wall. He closed the space between them in one quick step, clenching his fists at his side and gritting his teeth.
Adam didn’t flinch, his glassy eyes still averted to somewhere over Kris’s shoulder.
Kris huffed. “Adam, they don’t mean shit and you know it.” He curled his fingers into the fabric of Adam’s shirt and tugged. “Look at me.” It was a snarl and Kris tried to keep his anger intact, ignoring the part of his mind that immediately noticed how close their faces were.
He watched Adam snap his gaze down reluctantly, shocked by the tone Kris never used. Kris was too wound up to care, trying insanely hard not to lose himself in those iridescent blue eyes. “They, those…assholes. They mean nothing. Not a fucking thing.”
Kris watched Adam’s blue eyes go colder than ice, his jaw clenching and unclenching with each inhale. It might have been menacing had Kris not been so infuriated himself.
“You know who you are, you are comfortable with yourself. Don’t let them take a single fucking piece of that away from you.” Kris took a step back and dropped the hand from Adam’s shirt. He ran a hand through his hair furiously and hung his head.
Kris cocked his head back up when Adam spoke only a few seconds later. He thought it was ridiculous that Adam’s eyes looked even better, moisture clinging to the tips of his eyelashes like small, faceted diamonds when he blinked. He wasn’t actually crying though, not yet.
“No, Kris. They’re right. I am exactly everything they said.” Adam’s voice cracked slightly and Kris watched him lift a hand to cover his eyes, noting the small pink, moon-like crescent marks on his palm. More than likely from nails digging painfully into his skin; Kris was sure his hands looked the same.
When Adam revealed his eyes again, Kris’s found his own locking there, watching the tears threaten to spill over. He felt his anger dissipate at that small observation. Kris stepped forward and attempted to pull Adam off the wall by his shoulders.
“Damnit, Kris. Just go. Please, just go.” Kris stopped trying the second he heard the barely audible hitch in Adam’s breathing. It sent a chill down his spine. Adam didn’t cry in front of anyone.
Kris refused to go, instead sliding his hands up Adam’s shoulders and interlocking his fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck. He crushed his body to Adam’s fully, trying to ignore the shock that coursed through his body at the action. This was nothing different than any other hug, less than normal even considering Adam wasn’t reciprocating.
He felt Adam’s arm tense and Kris flinched when he felt a hand on his jaw. He cocked his head up, expecting to be hit or slapped or something of the sort. But there was no hostility in Adam’s eyes, just resentment and pain and it was just so sad Kris was willing to do anything to stop it, even for a second.
Adam whimpered. Kris thought his heart might have shattered at the sound, so agonized, so uncharacteristic he thought he might be losing his mind. “Adam…Adam, talk to me.”
He watched the tears roll down Adam’s face quickly and some unknown force had him lifting his hand to run them across Adam’s cheeks. “Adam, don’t. Adam, please. Don’t.” Kris was surprised at how foreign his voice sounded to his own ears, desperate and kind of hoarse. He couldn’t be sure why.
Adam covered his face in his hands and slid down the wall, taking Kris down with him. Kris stumbled at first, sort of falling against Adam’s limp figure, before rising to his knees and curling his body around Adam’s shaking one protectively. Adam was bigger, but it didn’t matter.
“They were right, so right,” Kris jumped when Adam spoke through tears, muffled and a little hysterical laugh following. Adam’s eyes appeared from beneath his hands, vulnerable and unnerving. “When they said,” Adam hiccoughed, smiling wryly, “I’m a fag, a fucking diva. I’m going to be just like the rest of them.”
Kris felt his jaw drop, but quickly regained his composure when he watched a shudder roll through Adam. “I don’t ever want to hear you say that again.” He said it through clenched teeth, cupping Adam’s jaw and feeling warm moisture hit his wrist. Kris felt the irrational urge to taste it, but quickly reprimanded himself - he must be losing his mind.
“Do you know how much more you mean than them? To the people that matter most. Your family, your friends, your fans. Me. I don’t give a fuck what they have to say.” Kris’s breathing was slightly ragged and he tried to flex out the sudden tightness of his muscles.
Adam turned his head to the side and let another sob rip through his chest. Kris pressed closer to Adam, nudging his legs to straighten out so he could sit in between. This wasn’t a time for space, Kris didn’t want any space. “Listen to me, Adam. You are amazing, the most kind, genuine person I’ve ever known. I won’t let them take you down, it’s going to take a hell of a lot more than some empty words to get through Kris Allen.”
Kris’s attempt at lightening the situation didn’t work, Adam kept his head turned the other way, his chest rising and falling unevenly. “You want to know something?” He let his voice soften and leaned into Adam a little more, resting his forehead against his chest. Personal space be damned, Kris needed the contact. “When someone says something funny, I look around to see if you’re laughing. Even if you’re not there.”
He paused for a few seconds, feeling Adam’s heartbeat pick up against his cheek. His voice dropped even lower. “And when we’re hugging or you’ve got an arm wrapped around me or when I accidently brush your thigh when we’re walking next to each other…” Kris heard a small hitch in Adam’s breathing, but didn’t lift his head to see what caused it. “All I feel is heat. I can’t think about anything else but you. It’s like when you’re touching me…all my senses are intensified. I can smell you, hear the way your shirt rustles against your skin, feel every curve and ridge of your body, and I swear I could sit and count every single freckle.” His lips formed a wry smile, so lost in the moment he couldn’t manage to bring his filter back. “I can taste you around me, too. Like your scent, except better because it’s there and on my tongue and just amazing.”
“Kris.” Kris brought his head off of Adam’s chest, bright blue and teary eyes directly in front of him. He thought he could see his entire life reflecting back at him, every good thing that had and would ever happen to him. Right there in those eyes.
He ran a hand up Adam’s chest to cup his jaw, stroking the side of his face tenderly. This was what Kris needed, what Kris was searching for. It just explained so much, the heat, the yearning for something he couldn’t have.
“Kris, what’re you doing?” Adam breathed out, his dark eyelashes fluttering slightly.
Kris didn’t allow himself to think, just feel. The heat. The warmth that burned through his body at this very second, just from the contact. He rose to his knees and curled his hand around the other side of Adam’s jaw. Kris couldn’t do anything but feel, he just needed to feel.
His lips crushed Adam’s softly, unsure, a question in the kiss. He coaxed Adam’s mouth slowly, waiting for a response. When he never get one he pulled back, but he didn’t stop.
“Come on, Adam.” Kris crooned softly, running kisses across his jaw line where his hands met Adam’s skin, his eyelids, his temple, his nose, his cheeks and dragging his lips back down to Adam’s. “Feel with me,” Kris breathed before sliding his mouth against Adam’s again, a low keening noise escaping Adam’s throat when he finally reciprocated.
Kris lost himself completely, giving into his senses, feeling, tasting, smelling, hearing, seeing everything. It was every cliché in the book and more. It spread like fire through his lips, down his throat, curling somewhere deep in the pit of his stomach. Every nerve in his body was alight with it, fluttering against his skin like it might break through.
He gasped when Adam slid a tongue against his bottom lip slowly, cautiously. Kris could feel the tension in the kiss; Adam was afraid.
Kris took the initiative and parted his lips, crushing himself closer to Adam and running hands up his face to thread through his hair. He tangled his tongue with Adam’s, slowly, so sweet the back of his mind registered tears that might have been his. They weren’t battling for dominance, there was trust in the way they took turns exploring, hope in the way Adam allowed Kris whatever he wanted. Maybe even a bit of commitment, Kris could taste it on his tongue, in the way Adam nipped at his bottom lip possessively, kissing with more vigor with each second passed.
Kris couldn’t have said what his own name was by time they both pulled away from each other. His breathing was heavy and he fought the urge to capture Adam’s lips again, now swollen and shiny, instead ducking his head into Adam’s neck and allowing the tears to overflow. Kris cried for the moment, the security of what could be, the final realization of what this meant, what finally kissing Adam felt like. He thought he’d never want to go without it again.
He let Adam coax the tears out of him, crying muffled sobs into the fabric at his chest, at one point grappling at his neck to make sure he was real, that he was there. Kris was out of his mind with emotion, feeling too many things at once.
“I love you Kristopher, more than my own life.” Adam’s voice was wrecked when he spoke into the shell of Kris’s ear just a few moments later, hoarse with tears of his own. “But I won’t be able to handle it if tomorrow you wake up and regret doing this.”
Kris lifted his head up from the crook of Adam’s neck and let himself drown in those blue eyes. He leaned forward and kissed the tears that ran down Adam’s cheeks slowly, watching his eyes flutter every time Kris’s lips met his freckled skin. He took his time, dragging his mouth back to Adam’s, pressing warm lips to him and feeling the fire flare up once again. This kiss was heavier, not as sweet at first, full of lust and want and need. Kris thought he might pass out from lack of oxygen.
Adam’s lips left his slowly, sucking Kris’s bottom lip into his mouth as he released it completely. Kris watched the crooked grin reflect back at him, both trying to catch their breath. He blushed when Adam’s eyes continued observing his face, turning his gaze down at the warmth that ran up the back of his neck.
“Look at me, Kris.” Kris heard Adam’s croon, picking his gaze back up slowly. There was a question in his eyes and Kris was more than eager to answer.
He leaned his forehead against Adam’s lightly, smiling so wide his cheeks hurt. “I love you, Adam Lambert and I won’t ever leave you.” Kris pulled away to flutter slow, sweet kisses along Adam’s jaw and breathed, “I can promise you that.”
COMMENTS <3