Ignorance In Pieces (18/?)
Title: Ignorance In Pieces (18/?)
Author: adamissexable
Pairing: Kradam and Kradison friendship
Rating: NC 17
Summary: During Tour. Kris is trying to get over his failure of a marriage and sort out his newfound 'feelings' for his best friend. Adam catches Kris in a compromising position - angst, sexytimes, and laughter ensue.
Disclaimer: Though I wish some of it were real, it's most likely probably definitely not.
Notes: Ahhhhh! I know, I'm sorry. It took forever. But in my defense I've been working on a couple of other ones. This is my last written chapter thus far, felt bad for making you guys wait - so I'm posting? I'm working on getting my muse back for this one, though - promise!
Warnings: Uh Blind!Kris?
Other Parts: http://adamissexable.livejournal.com/243 1.html
Eeeeeek. I know, I know. Throw stuff at me, ahh! But I'm in a good mood, so I'll post this last written piece. I'll have a few fics out (hopefully) soon so look alive, considering I'm failing major at this one. :o
On with the story?
Kris jerked awake abruptly upon hearing a vivid, strangled cry in a familiar tone. He glanced around sporadically, searching for the source of the noise, but only found darkness. It was then that he realized he had no clue where he was, just noticing the pounding of his head and the continuous sobs that definitely weren’t helping.
He staggered to his feet awkwardly, the movement sending a roll of nausea throughout his abdomen, before he took a few steps towards the direction of the cries, hands held out cautiously in the darkness to prevent running into something.
When Kris’s eyes finally adjusted to the lack of light, he noticed Allison curled up on the bed, clutching the covers, and entire body quivering. He spoke up cautiously, not sure if she was actually awake - and voice thick with sleep, “Alli?”
Allison just shuddered harder, apparently not conscious, the broken sobs sending Kris into a panic. He was afraid of her reaction if he were to touch her but upon hearing her cry out even louder he crawled onto the bed slowly, sliding in next to her sideways - a good arm’s length away.
The bed shook with Allison’s trembling and Kris finally decided on reaching his hand out slowly, resting his palm on her arm, trying to rub soothing circles into her warm skin. He spoke again when the reactions increased in severity, his voice terrified and unsure, “Alli. Alli! Wake up. It’s just a dream.”
Kris shook her arm lightly, next time with more force when the first brought no awareness. He had absolutely no clue what to do. Should he go get someone? Lil or Megan? Adam, even?
Kris was about to call for help when suddenly Allison was sitting up next to him, her head swiveling around fearfully and breathing completely broken. She cried out upon taking in her surroundings, “Adam?!”
Kris blanched at the name that escaped her lips, before responding quieter, his hand moving to her back and rubbing slightly, “No, Alli. It’s me, Kris.”
Allison turned her wide, horrified eyes towards Kris, realization flooding her expression upon seeing who sat next to her. “Kris?” She seemed to calm significantly as awareness slowly slipped back into her features - breathing steadying slightly and dark eyes settling.
He thought she was going to flinch away upon feeling his hand on her back, but was presently surprised when she just sat there, expression sobering even more with each second that passed.
Allison shook her head briefly, trying to control the shaking of her entire frame, and spoke aloud, voice ragged from crying, “Where’s Adam?”
Kris kept his eyes on Allison, attempting to hide the emotion that flared when Adam was mentioned, and responded softly, “I don’t know.” He halted when blurry images sailed through his head abruptly, him and Adam…somewhere, kissing? No…, that couldn’t be right, he hadn’t seen Adam since they got to the hotel. Although, you did wake up in the center of the floor with no clue of where you were and no recollection of how you got there. Kris shook his head, a lame attempt at ignoring his mind, as far as he knew that was a dream - it wouldn’t have been the first one.
Allison didn’t seem to realize the internal conflict that currently held Kris’s attention and he was jerked back to reality when she spoke up again, voice a little steadier - more lucid - but still hoarse, “What are you doing here, Kris?”
Kris opened his mouth then shut it quickly, his gaze drifting around the room, trying to figure out exactly where ‘here’ was. He looked back at Allison confusingly, “I actually have no clue. I just woke up when I heard you scream…I was on the floor.”
Allison’s eyes fell to the bed in shame, all events prior to this seeming to assault her and she spoke up, regret evident in her tone, “Listen Kris…about earlier. I’m really sorry. The things I said at the club were complete lies, and earlier…I…I don’t know.” She paused, eyes glancing back up at his almost frighteningly - like he was going to strike her or something.
Kris’s confusion and surprise was apparent, but Allison continued - not explaining the sudden change in emotion, “I just didn’t want to talk. But I had no right…I’m sorry.” She breathed out a weary sigh and reached her hand out to his, which was now lying in the space in between them.
He tentatively grasped the hand that lay on top of his and squeezed gently, forgiveness evident in the gesture, but replied anyways - not completely sure what to say, “I…didn’t want you to get hurt Alli, and I know I’m not your father-”
Allison cut him off abruptly, voice so intense it was almost anger, “No, Kris. That’s what I meant. You are exactly like a father to me and I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.”
Kris felt a bittersweet tug in his chest and he just shook his head, not trusting himself to hold back the tears if he responded, instead sitting up and wrapping her in a warm, tight embrace. He breathed in her scent, let it comfort him - not even allowing himself to question why this young girl held such a purpose in his life, such an importance. Kris just bit his lip to keep his sobs abated and held her tighter, so completely grateful for her existence he couldn’t put it into words.
After a few moments, Kris let go, slightly choked up and a slow frown formed on his lips when he noticed Allison’s eyes glittering with unshed tears. She shook her head, though, smiling as she spoke up, some of her old bubbly self apparent in her tone, “Where did you go anyways?”
Kris wrinkled his nose, suddenly remembering the dull roar in his head before he replied guiltily, “I’m pretty sure I went to the bar.” Or so he thought? Apparently, things these days weren’t always as they seemed.
Allison nodded her head, pursing her lips slightly she responded, eyes questioning, “Understandable.” He watched her scan the room quickly, eyebrows sinking together as she spoke again, a tinge of worry in her tone, “Where the hell is Adam? He was right here when I fell asleep…” The last few words drifted in volume and Kris’s heart stuttered momentarily at the name.
Allison noticed Kris’s reaction to the mention of Adam and she spoke, voice softer and soothing, “Kris…what’s going on with you two?”
Kris shook his head swiftly, the movement seeming to rattle his brain, and dropped his gaze to his fingers which picked at the comforter absentmindedly. He lifted his head up quickly, false words settling on his tongue, thick with emotion, “I have no clue, Alli.”
Her gaze was now a glare and she replied before the sentence left his mouth, a tint of anger in her voice, “You’re a horrible liar.” She shook her head swiftly, seeming to calm herself some before continuing, voice noticeably smoother, “And you know exactly what’s wrong, you’re just afraid to admit it.”
She was right. Kris knew she was right. Hell, most of the damn world knew she was right. But there were just too many problems, too many restrictions. So many things keeping him from admitting the truth. No, now that’s bullshit. You’re afraid, of what - you don’t even know. But something about confessing your love for him has you terrified.
Kris ran a hand through his hair wearily, voice now tired when he replied, “I can’t…I don’t know what to do here, Alli. This is all like…unchartered territory for me.” He flicked his gaze up to hers and his voice was suddenly sharper and he spoke faster, few breaths in between, “I’ve never been gay, I’ve never even really been interested in guys. Katy was my first and what I’d originally hoped to be my last. But then Adam comes along and the whole damn world suddenly revolves around him and as hard as I try not to see him that way, to see him just as my best friend - the harder it gets to keep from loving him.”
The words took a few more seconds than normal for his brain to process. Kris’s breathing was ragged from the force in which he spoke and his heart was beating furiously in his chest. Upon finally realizing what he’d just confessed, his eyes widened and a warm heat burned its way through his face.
Allison’s dark eyes held a twinkle of satisfaction and she was smirking when she spoke, voice smug, “About damn time.” She tilted her head to the side, magenta hair falling in a tangled curtain over her shoulder and curiosity covering her features before continuing, “How long have you known?”
Kris, still in shock from his reluctant admittance, took a few moments to answer, trying to calm down the thoughts rambling in his head. He rubbed the back of his neck tenderly, trying to think of when this whole ordeal began - he couldn’t remember. From Hollywood week to now there were too many hugs, too many private, intimate talks before bed, too many shared moments that at the time had meant none but a little more than friendship for Kris - nowhere near what he felt now.
He glanced back up at Allison, uncertainty in his expression and replied, “I honestly don’t know.” Upon seeing Allison give him a look saturated with disbelief he continued, running a hand through his light brown hair, “No, really. I don’t know what any of this is. I can’t…I can’t place it. The emotions, the thoughts - what am I supposed to make of it?”
Kris knew this was the last thing on his mind - granted, it did serve a big portion in his doubt - and apparently Allison did too. She held firm contact with his eyes and responded with the real issue on Kris’s mind, voice softer and assuring, “He loves you too, ya know.”
He blanched, that’s not right - that couldn’t be right. Adam is well, Adam. Glamorous and over the top and damn near every person on this Earth lusted over him, and Kris was shy and he wore plaid every day and how in the hell could Adam love him?
Kris let out a strangled sound, something of a snort of disbelief and replied, completely overwhelmed by the force of emotions that surged through his being and voice quiet, “You don’t know that.”
Allison shook her head, wry smile jumping back to her lips before she responded, coaxing Kris with her tone, “On the contrary, I do know that.”
Kris locked eyes with Allison and was taken aback by the certainty there. It flickered in her expression intensely and he felt it burn into his skin. Oh, yes. And didn’t you hear? She can shoot spider web from her wrists, too. Kris barely contained a hysterical laugh at the thought. Jesus, he needed sleep. Or more liquor. Or maybe both.
Kris hadn’t a clue how long he sat there, thinking about the possibilities - the past, the future, what might have been, what could be. His head throbbed even worse now, but was surprised to find it wasn’t a bad pain - unfamiliar, but definitely not bad. Maybe even comfortable?
He rubbed a hand gently over his face, only flinching slightly at the pain in his jaw, and sighed wearily. When Kris drew his eyes back to Allison’s, he was amused to find she was having trouble keeping them open. Looking past her a bit, he quickly read the time - 4:30 a.m. - then spoke quietly, “You should go back to sleep. We’re gonna have to get up in a few hours.”
Kris laughed softly to himself when he watched her perform a lazy nod, eyes already closed, then kind of fall onto the pillows sideways. He bent forward to place a kiss on her forehead, lingering there for a few moments, before slowly making his way off of the bed.
His feet had just touched the ground when he heard Allison sigh a sleepy mumble, “No, Kris. You’re not sleeping on the floor.” Kris tilted his head to the side curiously, where the hell else was he supposed to sleep?
Allison breathed out a hazy laugh at his expression and patted the space next to her lightly. Kris climbed back onto the bed under Allison’s gaze, and when he made himself comfortable he felt a small hand squeezing his arm. Turning his head to look at Allison he reached out to cup her cheek, and whispered softly, “Go to sleep, Alli. Thank you.”
Kris left his palm there a few seconds longer, long enough to feel her face relax and watch her form slip into unconsciousness before drawing back and resting it on his stomach. Eyes finally closing, he succumbed to his exhaustion. Kris’s breathing slowed and his body relaxed, and wasn’t the least bit surprised to find the ghost of a smile on his lips. Later today they would be on their way to Boston, Massachusetts and Kris had discovered something - something that could possibly change his life completely. And that one thing revolved around Adam Lambert.
Comments <3
Author: adamissexable
Pairing: Kradam and Kradison friendship
Rating: NC 17
Summary: During Tour. Kris is trying to get over his failure of a marriage and sort out his newfound 'feelings' for his best friend. Adam catches Kris in a compromising position - angst, sexytimes, and laughter ensue.
Disclaimer: Though I wish some of it were real, it's most likely probably definitely not.
Notes: Ahhhhh! I know, I'm sorry. It took forever. But in my defense I've been working on a couple of other ones. This is my last written chapter thus far, felt bad for making you guys wait - so I'm posting? I'm working on getting my muse back for this one, though - promise!
Warnings: Uh Blind!Kris?
Other Parts: http://adamissexable.livejournal.com/243 1.html
Eeeeeek. I know, I know. Throw stuff at me, ahh! But I'm in a good mood, so I'll post this last written piece. I'll have a few fics out (hopefully) soon so look alive, considering I'm failing major at this one. :o
On with the story?
Kris jerked awake abruptly upon hearing a vivid, strangled cry in a familiar tone. He glanced around sporadically, searching for the source of the noise, but only found darkness. It was then that he realized he had no clue where he was, just noticing the pounding of his head and the continuous sobs that definitely weren’t helping.
He staggered to his feet awkwardly, the movement sending a roll of nausea throughout his abdomen, before he took a few steps towards the direction of the cries, hands held out cautiously in the darkness to prevent running into something.
When Kris’s eyes finally adjusted to the lack of light, he noticed Allison curled up on the bed, clutching the covers, and entire body quivering. He spoke up cautiously, not sure if she was actually awake - and voice thick with sleep, “Alli?”
Allison just shuddered harder, apparently not conscious, the broken sobs sending Kris into a panic. He was afraid of her reaction if he were to touch her but upon hearing her cry out even louder he crawled onto the bed slowly, sliding in next to her sideways - a good arm’s length away.
The bed shook with Allison’s trembling and Kris finally decided on reaching his hand out slowly, resting his palm on her arm, trying to rub soothing circles into her warm skin. He spoke again when the reactions increased in severity, his voice terrified and unsure, “Alli. Alli! Wake up. It’s just a dream.”
Kris shook her arm lightly, next time with more force when the first brought no awareness. He had absolutely no clue what to do. Should he go get someone? Lil or Megan? Adam, even?
Kris was about to call for help when suddenly Allison was sitting up next to him, her head swiveling around fearfully and breathing completely broken. She cried out upon taking in her surroundings, “Adam?!”
Kris blanched at the name that escaped her lips, before responding quieter, his hand moving to her back and rubbing slightly, “No, Alli. It’s me, Kris.”
Allison turned her wide, horrified eyes towards Kris, realization flooding her expression upon seeing who sat next to her. “Kris?” She seemed to calm significantly as awareness slowly slipped back into her features - breathing steadying slightly and dark eyes settling.
He thought she was going to flinch away upon feeling his hand on her back, but was presently surprised when she just sat there, expression sobering even more with each second that passed.
Allison shook her head briefly, trying to control the shaking of her entire frame, and spoke aloud, voice ragged from crying, “Where’s Adam?”
Kris kept his eyes on Allison, attempting to hide the emotion that flared when Adam was mentioned, and responded softly, “I don’t know.” He halted when blurry images sailed through his head abruptly, him and Adam…somewhere, kissing? No…, that couldn’t be right, he hadn’t seen Adam since they got to the hotel. Although, you did wake up in the center of the floor with no clue of where you were and no recollection of how you got there. Kris shook his head, a lame attempt at ignoring his mind, as far as he knew that was a dream - it wouldn’t have been the first one.
Allison didn’t seem to realize the internal conflict that currently held Kris’s attention and he was jerked back to reality when she spoke up again, voice a little steadier - more lucid - but still hoarse, “What are you doing here, Kris?”
Kris opened his mouth then shut it quickly, his gaze drifting around the room, trying to figure out exactly where ‘here’ was. He looked back at Allison confusingly, “I actually have no clue. I just woke up when I heard you scream…I was on the floor.”
Allison’s eyes fell to the bed in shame, all events prior to this seeming to assault her and she spoke up, regret evident in her tone, “Listen Kris…about earlier. I’m really sorry. The things I said at the club were complete lies, and earlier…I…I don’t know.” She paused, eyes glancing back up at his almost frighteningly - like he was going to strike her or something.
Kris’s confusion and surprise was apparent, but Allison continued - not explaining the sudden change in emotion, “I just didn’t want to talk. But I had no right…I’m sorry.” She breathed out a weary sigh and reached her hand out to his, which was now lying in the space in between them.
He tentatively grasped the hand that lay on top of his and squeezed gently, forgiveness evident in the gesture, but replied anyways - not completely sure what to say, “I…didn’t want you to get hurt Alli, and I know I’m not your father-”
Allison cut him off abruptly, voice so intense it was almost anger, “No, Kris. That’s what I meant. You are exactly like a father to me and I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.”
Kris felt a bittersweet tug in his chest and he just shook his head, not trusting himself to hold back the tears if he responded, instead sitting up and wrapping her in a warm, tight embrace. He breathed in her scent, let it comfort him - not even allowing himself to question why this young girl held such a purpose in his life, such an importance. Kris just bit his lip to keep his sobs abated and held her tighter, so completely grateful for her existence he couldn’t put it into words.
After a few moments, Kris let go, slightly choked up and a slow frown formed on his lips when he noticed Allison’s eyes glittering with unshed tears. She shook her head, though, smiling as she spoke up, some of her old bubbly self apparent in her tone, “Where did you go anyways?”
Kris wrinkled his nose, suddenly remembering the dull roar in his head before he replied guiltily, “I’m pretty sure I went to the bar.” Or so he thought? Apparently, things these days weren’t always as they seemed.
Allison nodded her head, pursing her lips slightly she responded, eyes questioning, “Understandable.” He watched her scan the room quickly, eyebrows sinking together as she spoke again, a tinge of worry in her tone, “Where the hell is Adam? He was right here when I fell asleep…” The last few words drifted in volume and Kris’s heart stuttered momentarily at the name.
Allison noticed Kris’s reaction to the mention of Adam and she spoke, voice softer and soothing, “Kris…what’s going on with you two?”
Kris shook his head swiftly, the movement seeming to rattle his brain, and dropped his gaze to his fingers which picked at the comforter absentmindedly. He lifted his head up quickly, false words settling on his tongue, thick with emotion, “I have no clue, Alli.”
Her gaze was now a glare and she replied before the sentence left his mouth, a tint of anger in her voice, “You’re a horrible liar.” She shook her head swiftly, seeming to calm herself some before continuing, voice noticeably smoother, “And you know exactly what’s wrong, you’re just afraid to admit it.”
She was right. Kris knew she was right. Hell, most of the damn world knew she was right. But there were just too many problems, too many restrictions. So many things keeping him from admitting the truth. No, now that’s bullshit. You’re afraid, of what - you don’t even know. But something about confessing your love for him has you terrified.
Kris ran a hand through his hair wearily, voice now tired when he replied, “I can’t…I don’t know what to do here, Alli. This is all like…unchartered territory for me.” He flicked his gaze up to hers and his voice was suddenly sharper and he spoke faster, few breaths in between, “I’ve never been gay, I’ve never even really been interested in guys. Katy was my first and what I’d originally hoped to be my last. But then Adam comes along and the whole damn world suddenly revolves around him and as hard as I try not to see him that way, to see him just as my best friend - the harder it gets to keep from loving him.”
The words took a few more seconds than normal for his brain to process. Kris’s breathing was ragged from the force in which he spoke and his heart was beating furiously in his chest. Upon finally realizing what he’d just confessed, his eyes widened and a warm heat burned its way through his face.
Allison’s dark eyes held a twinkle of satisfaction and she was smirking when she spoke, voice smug, “About damn time.” She tilted her head to the side, magenta hair falling in a tangled curtain over her shoulder and curiosity covering her features before continuing, “How long have you known?”
Kris, still in shock from his reluctant admittance, took a few moments to answer, trying to calm down the thoughts rambling in his head. He rubbed the back of his neck tenderly, trying to think of when this whole ordeal began - he couldn’t remember. From Hollywood week to now there were too many hugs, too many private, intimate talks before bed, too many shared moments that at the time had meant none but a little more than friendship for Kris - nowhere near what he felt now.
He glanced back up at Allison, uncertainty in his expression and replied, “I honestly don’t know.” Upon seeing Allison give him a look saturated with disbelief he continued, running a hand through his light brown hair, “No, really. I don’t know what any of this is. I can’t…I can’t place it. The emotions, the thoughts - what am I supposed to make of it?”
Kris knew this was the last thing on his mind - granted, it did serve a big portion in his doubt - and apparently Allison did too. She held firm contact with his eyes and responded with the real issue on Kris’s mind, voice softer and assuring, “He loves you too, ya know.”
He blanched, that’s not right - that couldn’t be right. Adam is well, Adam. Glamorous and over the top and damn near every person on this Earth lusted over him, and Kris was shy and he wore plaid every day and how in the hell could Adam love him?
Kris let out a strangled sound, something of a snort of disbelief and replied, completely overwhelmed by the force of emotions that surged through his being and voice quiet, “You don’t know that.”
Allison shook her head, wry smile jumping back to her lips before she responded, coaxing Kris with her tone, “On the contrary, I do know that.”
Kris locked eyes with Allison and was taken aback by the certainty there. It flickered in her expression intensely and he felt it burn into his skin. Oh, yes. And didn’t you hear? She can shoot spider web from her wrists, too. Kris barely contained a hysterical laugh at the thought. Jesus, he needed sleep. Or more liquor. Or maybe both.
Kris hadn’t a clue how long he sat there, thinking about the possibilities - the past, the future, what might have been, what could be. His head throbbed even worse now, but was surprised to find it wasn’t a bad pain - unfamiliar, but definitely not bad. Maybe even comfortable?
He rubbed a hand gently over his face, only flinching slightly at the pain in his jaw, and sighed wearily. When Kris drew his eyes back to Allison’s, he was amused to find she was having trouble keeping them open. Looking past her a bit, he quickly read the time - 4:30 a.m. - then spoke quietly, “You should go back to sleep. We’re gonna have to get up in a few hours.”
Kris laughed softly to himself when he watched her perform a lazy nod, eyes already closed, then kind of fall onto the pillows sideways. He bent forward to place a kiss on her forehead, lingering there for a few moments, before slowly making his way off of the bed.
His feet had just touched the ground when he heard Allison sigh a sleepy mumble, “No, Kris. You’re not sleeping on the floor.” Kris tilted his head to the side curiously, where the hell else was he supposed to sleep?
Allison breathed out a hazy laugh at his expression and patted the space next to her lightly. Kris climbed back onto the bed under Allison’s gaze, and when he made himself comfortable he felt a small hand squeezing his arm. Turning his head to look at Allison he reached out to cup her cheek, and whispered softly, “Go to sleep, Alli. Thank you.”
Kris left his palm there a few seconds longer, long enough to feel her face relax and watch her form slip into unconsciousness before drawing back and resting it on his stomach. Eyes finally closing, he succumbed to his exhaustion. Kris’s breathing slowed and his body relaxed, and wasn’t the least bit surprised to find the ghost of a smile on his lips. Later today they would be on their way to Boston, Massachusetts and Kris had discovered something - something that could possibly change his life completely. And that one thing revolved around Adam Lambert.
Comments <3