5. Holes Grow
so. mike got me pretty high tonight.
and a girl asked me if i'd marry her. i said i couldn't possibly, so she asked me if i would in sixty years.
another girl kissed me a few times and hung off my arm for a while, and shook her hips quite a bit.
so tonight was a fun show.
fucking... weird.
SO. SHOULD I GET MARRIED?
what
the fuck
ON THE OTHER HAND
i guess this means i can at least get laid.
mainly, i'd like to finish this song before anything else
that was a cruel role to play
you never were reincarnated
go back to dust
is as it is yet. you'll have to hear it, i kinda think, because it would'n't probably do much good to try and get it without following the melody and such. that's pretty much how i feel about all this weirdness. this unrealistically savage joke. the fact that Blessing and Nature of Omnipotense took the one person who i was certain about away, and has erected these confused and violently unhealthy tools that seem to tip over on top of me and crush the joy and awareness out of my blood. i want the good dead things to stay dead, and to FUCKING NOT return as Warped Reserections (cheap and destructive immitations of Reincarnations).
final thought
yes. it is now obvious that my music will hurt people. i've even intended all along for it to remind people of the old smells they dearly miss, but i hadn't thought... fucking, that it would work. not like this.
i need to find someone who is quiet and sorrowful.