why am i tired?..........
I woke up today, got a haircut, went to lab, and watched football....now i am here. all this started at 2pm. So I ask, why i am tired? I havent done anything that involves any energy all day long! But oh well. That is more of a retoricle question really. But anyway, lab rocked!!!! It was the tape calibration lab. Which means that we learned how to calibrate analog tape machines to record audio with. I have always been partial to analog tape instead of the digital format so this was exciting. I have a pro tools set up which is digital but there is something about the sound of tape saturation that makes music sound so so so good :) so yeah...that was the excitment for the day. i watched football......falcons lost which was a bummer but who cares really...its just a football game, lets see what else happened today....hhhhmmmmm...nothing. so i move on. Ok, Stefanie persuaded me into posting some of that jibberish that seems to cloud my mind, so here are 2 completly random and meaningless thoughts. first...i was watching tv earlier this week and i saw an ad for a new show comiing soon to none other than the always tacky Fox. Now, they do air the greatest of all televisoins shows, the simpsons, but this new thing is just scary. it is a show called "man versus beast". basically they pit people against animals in some really whacky contests. they put a guy up against a bear in an eating contest and a sprinter up against a girrafe in a foot race....now this seems funny and a tad bit ridiculious untill they drop the bomb shell of all teasers...........building tension...lol.......they have a contest between an elephant and 50 midgets to see who can pull an airplane the fastest. YES..I said MIDGETS!!! Why on earth would they do this? this is like a batchelor party gone bad! I cant imagine the meeting when they pitched this to the fox brass. I cant imagine that they would think that a midget vs. elephant airplane race was a good idea. it is something that belongs on the man show.....at that point i might watch...lol. So that has been on my mind most of the week...lol. well, saying that it has been on my mind is a bit much but i have pondered it on "downtime". Anyway, my second random thought, brennan's "wear what youre into theory".....now this one requires some backround knowledge so here it goes. This past summer, before i moved down here i was back home in atlanta. One night, brennan called me and asked me if i wanted to go out that night. I was facing a night of pure bordum so I decided to meet up with him and a few other buddies. they had been at lake laneir all day doing what they always do....drink. So anyway, they come over and we head down to a part of atlanta called buckhead. it is a younger part of town with alot of shopping and bars. But here is where brennan's theory comes into play. they came straight from the lake to my house and then directly out. so they did not shower or change. to put it bluntly, they looked like a bunch of hobos that had been on a train for a month....they were nasty. But they didnt care so neither did i. So we go to some bar....i forget which one, but it doesn matter, they are all the same anyways. So here we are standing in a bar with everyone kind of dressed well and having a good time. well, should i say everyone is dressed nicely except for brennan, carlson, and JC. Carlson and JC dont really come into this because as long as they have alcohol in their hand, they are happy. So, now to the important part. Brennan is pretty drunk at this point and feeling pretty good and very willing to talk. So he starts walking up to these groups of 5 and 6 girls, by himself,...lol....and starts hitting on ALL OF THEM! He isnt trying to sweet talk just one or even 2...oh no, he is taking on what looks like who sororities of girls. We were standing there dying laughing as these girl's go from amused to down right disguisted. So this happens a few times and each time he comes back over to us with a smile on his face, not really worrying about what he was doing. So after the second or third time, the converstaion happens!! We are talking about how all the conversations keep going south. I point out, that maybe it is because he looks like he has never seen the inside of a shower...lol....he laughes and says that he doesnt care because....and here is the basis of his theory.....if a girl doesnt like the lake he doesnt want to date her. Now, i agree that having things in common is a big plus to a relationship but at the same time, actually wearing the clothes and thereby bringing the lake to the situation was alittle bit over the top...lol. he disagreed and stood by his statement with a big grin on his face. I pointed out that this is flawed because, what do people that have interests that involve special uniforms do? My example was an astronaut. would an astronaut wear his space suit into a bar or any other social situation? I say of course not, that would be ridiculous. But brennan being brennan, his face lights up and says that that would be great for the simple reason that you would never have to think of something to start the conversation with....lol. And while this may be true, it is still absurd. what would you do if you were at a bar, a book store, starbucks, or wherever you like to meet people, and someone walked up in a space suit and began to talk to you? Would you not think that they were alittle odd?...lol....and not odd in a good way? maybe i am wrong here. maybe that doing something that over the top would really get someones attention (i mean in a good way...). but the reason I have been thinking about this is because, while in nawlins, a commmercial came on where an astronaut is walking down the street and going into stores and stuff. Brennan and i looked at eachother, and bam. the conversation was on again. so there you go. like i said, very pointless but extremely funny thought....at least to me.
There you go Stef :) there is some of the jibberish...but there is more....ill save it for later.
there has been alot on my mind lately. the thought that I have 8 more months hit me this week. I really like full sail but I am also really sick of school. I WANT TO GET OUT! but that is okay i guess. I am doing what i love to do so i cant complain.
I talked to sarah this week. sarita as i call her, is always seeing someone. I know why, but it would be pretty sleezy to post her inadiquacies on the internet so I wont go into any detail. anyhow, she has been seeing a guy named joe for about 6 months off and on with mixed results. but the big thing is that this is the first guy that has ever treated her with any respect....she also chooses to date scum bags....lol. but anyway, she really digs joe but she is scared of his age. he is 20 and acts like a 20 year old guy at times. sarah is almost 24 and kind of sick of putting up with him. but at the same time, she really likes him and really wishes that she could get by this. So she asks me what to do? Ah, what to do? now from where i stand, it is a pretty simple decision. Can you get past this and accept that he is a 20 year old guy, and 20 year old guys can be very immature at times? If yes, then you stay with him. if not, then you split, and stay that way. seems kind of cut and dry to me but not to her. Sarah, is scared to walk away from a good thing and it hurts her. she in effect has trapped herself into a bad situation and it hurts me. I wish that she was able to see that she can and will be happy. it just hasnt happened yet. she has never been truely happy and content, and that sucks.
This has made me think though. I came to the realization a while ago that different people need different things to make them happy. but just how different are these things? Does everybody really need love? I know that not everyone feels loved.....not by a boyfriend or girlfriend or even their family. But, do they really need it to be happy? Money does not make you happy...i dont think....but some people think that it does or will. what about friends? What kind of friends do we need? and how many? I dont have many people that i would consider friends. maybe 5 or 6. and even then, I question a few of them. But that is enough for me. They mean alot to me and i try to make them feel that way. but do i do a good enough job? im not sure....... love is a stickler for me...... I have it..... I give it...... but then again, I still feel unsatisfied. Not to the point where I am not happy but I do feel that there is a peice of the puzzle missing.....my puzzle, that still needs to be filled.
Ya know, it is a double edged sword being in love and knowing what it is at such a young age. Most people my age are looking for it and want to find that feeling that they have never experienced. I know what it is. And I miss it. But already knowing what it is is kind of like already seeing a movie that most havent. The thrill is not gone but the mystery is. I think that I am able to see around curves and in to places of the heart that others arent....or maybe im not. maybe I just think that I am. but one thing that I do know is that I will love and be loved again:) and that is all i really need
One more thing.....A friend of mine learned a hard lesson this week. Most people want something from you! and its not that they just want it, but expect it. I have yet to deal with this first hand. I know that it is there...i see it all the time, but it is still unfair. she did not ask for this. it was just dumped on her, and it hit her hard. But she is a strong person and will be stronger because of it. I hope that I am not contributing to this...that has been bothering me the more i think about it.....but I will talk to her about it.
well, the third testament of the bible it is not but its still long. it has been a while so oh well....I am tired
There you go Stef :) there is some of the jibberish...but there is more....ill save it for later.
there has been alot on my mind lately. the thought that I have 8 more months hit me this week. I really like full sail but I am also really sick of school. I WANT TO GET OUT! but that is okay i guess. I am doing what i love to do so i cant complain.
I talked to sarah this week. sarita as i call her, is always seeing someone. I know why, but it would be pretty sleezy to post her inadiquacies on the internet so I wont go into any detail. anyhow, she has been seeing a guy named joe for about 6 months off and on with mixed results. but the big thing is that this is the first guy that has ever treated her with any respect....she also chooses to date scum bags....lol. but anyway, she really digs joe but she is scared of his age. he is 20 and acts like a 20 year old guy at times. sarah is almost 24 and kind of sick of putting up with him. but at the same time, she really likes him and really wishes that she could get by this. So she asks me what to do? Ah, what to do? now from where i stand, it is a pretty simple decision. Can you get past this and accept that he is a 20 year old guy, and 20 year old guys can be very immature at times? If yes, then you stay with him. if not, then you split, and stay that way. seems kind of cut and dry to me but not to her. Sarah, is scared to walk away from a good thing and it hurts her. she in effect has trapped herself into a bad situation and it hurts me. I wish that she was able to see that she can and will be happy. it just hasnt happened yet. she has never been truely happy and content, and that sucks.
This has made me think though. I came to the realization a while ago that different people need different things to make them happy. but just how different are these things? Does everybody really need love? I know that not everyone feels loved.....not by a boyfriend or girlfriend or even their family. But, do they really need it to be happy? Money does not make you happy...i dont think....but some people think that it does or will. what about friends? What kind of friends do we need? and how many? I dont have many people that i would consider friends. maybe 5 or 6. and even then, I question a few of them. But that is enough for me. They mean alot to me and i try to make them feel that way. but do i do a good enough job? im not sure....... love is a stickler for me...... I have it..... I give it...... but then again, I still feel unsatisfied. Not to the point where I am not happy but I do feel that there is a peice of the puzzle missing.....my puzzle, that still needs to be filled.
Ya know, it is a double edged sword being in love and knowing what it is at such a young age. Most people my age are looking for it and want to find that feeling that they have never experienced. I know what it is. And I miss it. But already knowing what it is is kind of like already seeing a movie that most havent. The thrill is not gone but the mystery is. I think that I am able to see around curves and in to places of the heart that others arent....or maybe im not. maybe I just think that I am. but one thing that I do know is that I will love and be loved again:) and that is all i really need
One more thing.....A friend of mine learned a hard lesson this week. Most people want something from you! and its not that they just want it, but expect it. I have yet to deal with this first hand. I know that it is there...i see it all the time, but it is still unfair. she did not ask for this. it was just dumped on her, and it hit her hard. But she is a strong person and will be stronger because of it. I hope that I am not contributing to this...that has been bothering me the more i think about it.....but I will talk to her about it.
well, the third testament of the bible it is not but its still long. it has been a while so oh well....I am tired