(Play Time : Satan welcome)

[adamdouglasjr]

Rain and smog blanketed Osaka, Japan in a thick set of misery. The hotel loft was cold, bitter with the hum of the air conditioning. Humidity made things muggy; stuffy. The television play at a low setting, some random ass Japanese game show perking away at its viewers. It was purely on for ambient sound. Adam poured himself over a numerous number

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[princess_ofhell]

She appears, sitting on the corner of the glass table top, reclining as if she were an old friend popping in to visit. She smiles at him.

"You can't make her go away Adam, you failed her"

[adamdouglasjr]

Eyes do not pass the paper before him, but those words stabbed him deep. That voice, so horrible but so cheerful. It was worse than listening to Anna’s child torture him about his life. About his woes. This was not Jaqi. This was the hellspawn that haunted him. Satan sat at the edge of the table, poised as though she were merely one of the girls from the office, offering Adam a drink.

Her voice made his quake with rage. His mind swamped with desires of murder of her, to see her in a state that she could never be able to return to any world. His eyes slid shut slowly, a soft calm rippling through his subconscious. No, he would not think bad thoughts, even if they were to Satan. He’d be a good man, and a good follower of God.

The best fake smile he could muster weaseled its way to his lips, head raising to glance at the devil in his room.

“Good evening, Luce.”

[princess_ofhell]

"Such a delightfully polite boy aren't we Adam, your parents taught you well"

She grins, a slick sly grin and then quickly reverts her expression to one of feigned innocence "Oops silly me, I forgot. Your mother wasn't there for most of it was she and your father was barely interested. I put my foot in it there didn't I? I hope you can forgive me"

She smirks and picks up the papers he is pouring over, glancing through them as if she were his teacher checking his homework. The act merely a show though, a display to let him know that his privacy is not his.

[adamdouglasjr]

A sad but sweet smile replaced that of the sour grin, letting her take the papers. Not that she’d be able to get much from them other than legal garbage. Adam leans back a bit in the brass chair, letting his hands fold into his lap. Little pain came from her comment, having covered this many times.

“It’s alright. My father did the best he knew how. And my mother loved me when she was alive. You wouldn’t know much ‘bout her, though. She went t’ a higher establishment.”

[princess_ofhell]

"There's no need to get so defensive darling, you'll offend me" She pouts in mock upset, leaning forwards to lift his chin gently she smiles at him.

"I just thought you might be lonely and craving some company, Emma's so far away, I'm only trying to help"

She stands up and saunters over to the mini bar in the room, pouring herself a glass of wine. "Are you thirsty Adam? It's dreadfully close isn't it?"

[adamdouglasjr]

Again the smile remains, sweet and pure as it almost always was with company. Eyes took to just the sides of hers, refusing himself to gaze into the fire that bled from her look. If he focused on the corners of her eyes, where the dark make-up connected from top to bottom, he’d be able to keep his control for that much longer.

The man shook his head, pulling up his papers as she left for the mini-bar. The figured covered up his emotion, drowning them out temporarily as she made herself be known.

“No, thank you, ma’am. I’m not very thirty.”

[princess_ofhell]

"Suit yourself, don't say I didn't offer though" She strides back over and perches on the arm of his chair, lighting a cigarette.

"That was a pretty damned big slip you made there Adam. I wonder if God made the pain go away for her, or if she still remembers the pain and the heat, she screamed you know, screamed your name as the flames licked around her"

[adamdouglasjr]

Flickers of that horrific night blared like headlights on the bright setting in his mind. Eyes snapped shut, head cantering to the side. That scream. Her voice, calling for help. The flames. He was half an acre away and he could feel the heat from the fire like it was a foot before him. Emily. The baby. His baby. Tears forced themselves to the surface, easing barely past his eyelids. He forced them back. He pushed them back, down back under his skin. You’re weak! Boy’s don’t cry!

Shaking his head was all he could do, stabilizing himself, calming himself. All the suggestions from the Sages came pouring down on him, how to control this situation. Only one spoke louder than all of them.

Adam smiled, looking back up at her with kind eyes. He didn’t speak; couldn’t speak. Not to her.

[princess_ofhell]

She studied him closely, watching him fight the tears, and instantly recognising the fight in him as pushed the salty emotions back inside.

"You're not weak Adam, not weak at all, but it hurts so much doesn't it? Your baby, your Emily, your torment must have been dreadful. Would you have killed him, were you robbed of your vengeance? You've never let the anger out darling, you need to, it's what stopping you living your life. She'll never be at peace you know, not until you have that release, it's not fair to Emma"

[adamdouglasjr]

Fingers curled around the free arm of the chair, the groan of metal under pressure. His right arm flexed and poised. Pain shot through his arm as his muscles and bones screamed out the warning to stop. His arm froze. He applied no more pressure, but kept the amount there. Eyes opened dully, staring blankly out over the table and into the nothingness of the space outside the window.

She had a point. That was the first time he had ever wanted to severely place harm on someone, and the right to do so was taken from him the moment Richard had pulled the trigger, ending his own life. Anger. No, Emma. Calm. Once again, he refused himself from action, focusing on the events of the past week, how wonderful they had been just to be back in the Nexus and to finally tell Emma his love for her. Bliss. Heaven.

[princess_ofhell]

She chuckles at his white knuckles gripped around the arm of the chair, and the distance in his eyes as he tried to shut her out, to not be affected by her words.

"You can't hide from me Adam, the anger and regret inside you are eating away at you. Richard deserved more pain than that didn't he? He took the coward's way out, and he got off scott free, he wanted to run away from the pain, so did your father. Perhaps it runs in the family, you try running don't you darling? But it never goes away, never quite leaves you."

She gently wraps her hand around his as it grips the metal tightly. "I can feel the tension, the pent up aggression, it's wonderful that you can experience emotion like this. You can cover it up with happy thoughts, but it's always there Adam, always festering under the surface, always eating away at you"

[adamdouglasjr]

The barrier he had worked so hard to keep up, the one spent building for sixteen long years, the one that worked so efficiently at keeping back the black mirky waters of fear, anger, and dispair... It cracked. Pieces of it were breaking off and falling with large splashes into the water.

His shoulders quaked, shuddering as those tears he'd worked to push back flooded forward, burning against his dry cheeks. That deadpan pain punched at his ribcage, squeezing like a vice over his heart.

It was everything he could do not to fall to pieces...

"...Get out..."

[princess_ofhell]

Satisfied that his barriers were crumbling, all his miserable self loathing and hatred seeping through, she tenderly strokes his cheek wiping away the tears for him, her smile appearing genuine and caring.

"It's okay to be angry Adam, really, you can't keep it bottled up like this, it needs an outlet. You're doing great"

[adamdouglasjr]

Horribly frantic to save the pieces, to catch them before they hit the surface of the water. His whole form trembles, the chair jolting erratically beneath him. Sweat has already beaded upon his forehead. Tears continued to flood.

He had to save it. Had to rebuild it, mend it before he lost his mind. Adam stood suddenly up out of his chair, hands firmly placed on the top of the table. A hand stuck towards the door, a finger pointed to it.

"GET OUT!"

[princess_ofhell]

"Is that any way to talk to a guest Adam? Your manners are deteriorating, perhaps your mind will follow, I'm only trying to help. Your methods aren't working, I'm simply offering you an alternative"

As he looks to the door and his eyes are not upon her, she disappears. When he turns back, laid out on the table are photographs of what his son would have looked like, pictures of him playing on a swing, about five years old, he has Emily's eyes. In the middle is a photograph of Richard, on top of that central photo in the display is a loaded pistol.

[adamdouglasjr]

That was it.

There was an audible 'thunk' and a clatter as Adam collapsed to his knees, the chair tumbling to the side. Face burried in his hands, sobbing uncontrolably. Those eyes. Not Richard, or the gun, but those eyes. Her eyes. On the face of a child he could only distinguish as his own. That would have been his boy. That would have been his son. That would have been his child. But it wasn't. It had been taken from him. He had been taken from him.

His shoulders trembled beneath ever cracking sob, tears dripping off his knuckles from the underside of his palms embrace. Anger. Rage. Fury. Uncontrolable torment.

Loss.