Without the One Chap8 Foolish Invitation (2/5)
Front Row
8:11pm
It wasn’t the first time he had fidgeted in his seat while waiting for a concert to begin, and it probably wouldn’t be the last either. After all, from the moment he woke up to when he laid his head down on his pillow each night, he was one uncontrollable burst of energy. However, if he were truly honest, he couldn’t exactly recall feeling this antsy before, not even for one his own shows. Hell, at least not in a few years anyway. This was like torture. The minutes were ticking away, with still no Blake to be found. In attempts to distract himself from those restless thoughts, he couldn’t help running through the possible play-list for the evening. Like any other fan, he supposed he had a handful of favorites he hoped would be included. And they of course would. They were some of his best friend’s biggest hits. But at the present moment, he was more concerned with his buddy himself. Familiar with the comings and goings of backstage activity, he still wondered what was causing him to be so late.
Glancing to his left, the two women came into Adam’s sight. The good news was, they seemed to be getting along like old friends. Giggling, complimenting clothes, waving at fans behind them. Any fear that he’d had that they would have nothing in common, awkwardly smiling, as they silently sat beside one other, was easily laid to rest.
The bad news, however, struck the Maroon 5 frontman like a ton of bricks. Miranda appeared happy. No, Miranda was happy. Really happy. Outrageously happy. As if she hadn’t a single care in the world. This was not the same woman who had left LA for Phoenix several days before, still worried about the state of her fairly new marriage. Whatever had happened to her since he had last seen her at NBC Universal had done wonders for her, … And as his gut somersaulted and an icy chill slithered down his spine, he could only fathom one guess why. It was the same person who was causing him to tap his right knee to a frantic beat only he could hear.
Now who the hell said Adam Levine didn’t give exceptionally wise marital advice, huh?
And the size of that smile on her pretty face? Well, the young man released an agonizing groan, slumping farther down in his plush cushioned chair. Somehow, that didn’t begin to surprise him either though. Blake had apparently lived up to his every expectation.
Thankfully, the overhead lights finally began to dim, and Behati rose to her feet to quickly switch seats with him. As they did so, the lead guitar ripped through the collective attention of the packed theatre, causing Miranda to lean in closer, when she caught his arm. “She’s crazy about you, you know.”
“Or maybe plain ol’ crazy,” he winked, “Guess we’ll just have to wait and see, won’t we?”
Gazing into her shining royal blues, Adam wanted desperately to pull her into a bear hug. That is, before apologizing for everything he had already done, and everything he had not so secretly been planning to do as soon as possible. She was a good girl, who had done nothing wrong. Nothing but allowing the husband she trusted implicitly to coach singing hopefuls in some damn freakin’ TV show, …Only to eventually befriend the one no-good selfish sonofabitch, who somehow had never seemed to learn that Commandment about Not Coveting Thy Cute Neighbor’s Ass, … Or something like that anyway. He really should have paid more attention to that kind of stuff when he was a kid.
Standing there beside her, swimming in her warm smile, he set his mind to break off whatever this was with Blake. He had always known it would not end well. He’d just been waiting for the destruction to start to pile up around them, … And as sure as hell this woman - the great love of Blake Shelton’s life, and somebody he actually considered an incredibly good friend of his - would not be collateral damage. He had blamed fear for his reservation. No, he blamed fear for his overwhelming drive to run as far as he could as fast as he could away from his best friend and the feelings he couldn’t shake. But maybe it was sense finally settling in, and reminding him that, contrary to his lifetime theory, the world actually did not revolve around Adam Noah Levine. When hearts broke, they didn’t make pretty little lyrics for pop music songs; they shattered in tiny pieces that could not be put back together again. They left ugly scars that could not be hidden from anybody, least of all, the owner of said heart.
So, yeah, when they got a chance to talk privately, he’d cowboy up and broach the difficult discussion with him. He’d let Blake know that, no matter how much they might have wanted one another, they couldn’t go any farther. There was far too much to lose, none of which could so easily be replaced. This was where they needed to end.
Only trouble with that though?
Nobody bothered to share all that wisdom with Big Country, and he still kinda wanted to present his side of the argument tonight.
That thunderous belly guffaw from the back of the legendary stage impelled the clamor of the standing-room-only crowd, the main attraction for the evening swaggering out to full view of every eye. Including those belonging to his wife and best friend. “Oh man, you’ve gotta watch where you’re steppin’ ‘round here.”
If possible, Miranda radiated brighter, nudging Adam with her elbow. “He is a sexy little thing, isn’t he?”
He heard. He was tempted to respond. He could have sworn that he did respond to the rhetorical question, … But no, the young man simply looked on in near speechlessness, roughly 6 ½ feet of Blake Shelton usurping every other thought he could have had at the present moment. It had only been a matter of minutes since he had been backstage alone with him, yet it was like he was seeing him for the first time in days. This was not jovial happy-go-lucky smartass Blake. This was the award-winning male vocalist Blake Shelton. And he was commanding the show, before ever singing a note yet. He knew what they all wanted, and sure enough he would deliver.
Yeah, I got a friend in New York City.
The Gotham gathering cheered wildly.
He’s never heard of Conway Twitty.
Don’t know nothin’ ‘bout grits and greens.
Never been south of Queens.
But he flew down here on a business trip.
I took him honky tonkin’ and that was it.
He took to it like a pig to mud, like a cow to cud.
Their twinkling stares met periodically, long enough to feel the connection, but brief enough not to draw unnecessary examination. It was no secret he was there in the audience, but that didn’t mean that either of them found the need to make a scene. Didn’t they already do that enough on national television? Besides, without a single word being spoken between them, Blake knew that he was getting to Adam. Still on his feet, he’d stripped off his jacket again, dropping it unceremoniously behind him onto his forgotten seat, and gently rocked his hips from side to side to the beat. He wasn’t quite sure whether or not his friend was singing along softly, or simply mouthing the words, but regardless, the country crooner was confident that his buddy was thoroughly engaged in the concert. After all, rarely did anybody ever serenade the pop star, who wasn’t struggling to remain on a damn reality show. And this was no audition. This was what Blake was best at, and it was about friggin’ time it was his chance to show off a little bit.
We all got a hillbilly bone down deep inside.
No matter where you’re from, you just can’t hide it,
And when the band starts bangin’, and the fiddle saws,
You can’t help but hollerin’, Yee Haw!!
When you see them pretty little country queens,
Man, you gotta admit, that’s in them genes.
Ain’t nothin’ wrong, just gettin’ on
Your hillbilly bone-ba-bone-ba-bone-bone.
Clapping his hands to the music, and belting out the chorus along with him - well, all but the yee haw part, but that was simply out of principle - Adam felt incredibly stupid. He had seen his buddy perform songs before, but he had never seen this. Never known that he could hold a crowd in the palm of his hand this way. Tonight, Blake was the rock star. He was the one who could make you feel anything he wanted, and something told Adam that he intended to make him feel quite a few things right about now. Shamelessly, he blushed, even if it were just inside, being read through the light in his eyes. Better than anyone, he knew that feeling. All too well. It was heady and powerful, and such a turn-on. Being the one who everybody in the room desired. It was more than sexuality or passion. It was the innate hunger to connect to somebody with your voice and your body and your soul. It was like falling in love, at a 100 miles an hour, but drinking and tasting it slowly moment by moment.
Adam wanted to stop the world from spinning. At least long enough to reach Blake before he changed his mind yet again. He wanted to shut down that nagging feeling in the back of his mind, reminding him that this was all a very bad idea. He wanted to be good and noble for once. Needed to prove to himself he could control this. But it wasn’t just about a concert. This was how he always had felt about Blake, since that night on the restaurant roof. Since the night that had actually changed his life forever. When he’d been introduced to the last person on earth he should have made this kind of connection with, but had somehow become as necessary to him as air and water. However, even admitting all that to himself now, on the strange other side of the stage, Adam still couldn’t accept the one truth that danced between the two men. Maybe the real reason why he seemed so indecisive about moving forward with Blake. Ironically, given all of the tangible obstacles before them, the one truth that could really change everything he had ever known.
Hit song after hit song, the resident ACM male vocalist marveled the rest of his starved audience. He took questions the crowd had submitted earlier, naturally joked in the easy way they all had become accustomed to seeing, and showcased the band, claiming they were the ones who made him look so good. Miranda sat back against her chair, observing Blake like she was watching her favorite old movie. She thoroughly enjoyed every second of it, relishing those instances she recalled so fondly so many times. Adam, on the other hand, couldn’t get enough of the show. He perched literally on the edge of his seat, laughing, singing along, and almost forgetting about the two women beside him. A few of the stories he had heard before, but several he had not, storing them away to discuss with his best friend at a later date.
Blake drew a long pull from the beer he didn’t seem to care that he wasn’t supposed to be drinking. “Y’all know why I’ve always really liked country music?” he chuckled, pacing back and forth, as he undid the second top button of his shirt, in search for some air, “Because as my buddy, Trace, would say. It’s songs about me. The older you get, the more likely you are to understand them. You’ve seen some things and learned some lessons. They’re not always necessarily about country livin’. Sometimes they can be so universal, you can be in the middle of New York City- …” He waited patiently for the expected pop and the subsequent roar to die down. “…- and you know exactly what some dude from Oklahoma is singin’ ‘bout. Know what he’s been through and feel like you’ve been through it too, … And why? Because you have. Some songs just take you back to those few days that no matter how old you are, or where you come from, and who the hell you think you are, you just can’t shake.” Adam settled back against his seat, wondering where his buddy was going with yet another story. “Well, this next song’s definitely one of those. It kinda brings to mind the first time somebody comes into your life, shakes ya up like you were a bottle of soda pop, and simply watches you explode. You wanted them from the second you first met them, and were sure that, by hook or by crook, they would be yours. Although you already knew from the word go that it wouldn’t and couldn’t last. You never regret lovin’ them, even though they might just have broken your heart in the process.” He took another thirsty sip. “This is I’ll Just Hold On.”
I can taste your kiss on my lips,
And I’m wrapped around your fingertips,
As I watch the moonlight dancin’ on your skin.
Your green eyes and the sweet red wine
Go to my head every time,
And I get drunk on you.
I lose control and then,
And here I go again.
Visions of that night at Adam’s pool flashed through Blake’s mind with every word. Recalling how those sketched images glowed in the heavenly halo reflecting from the clear blue water. His voice humming in his ears, confessing their fears, but painfully avoiding what had been building between them. All he kept thinking was, if he had just reached out for Adam, it could have been the end of it all. No discussion. No opportunity for second thoughts. No interruptions. He agreed with the other man that they couldn’t rush into things, but even the dropping temperatures around them had done nothing to quench the fire that burned though him each time they were alone together. It scared him to know that there was nobody he trusted more, and who cared for him so deeply, but who challenged everything he thought he knew about himself. He tended to joke about being drunk all the time, but the only addiction he had ever really known was this irresistible need he had to draw his best friend closer and closer to him whenever he could; to lose himself in the truth that nothing was okay unless Adam was there with him.
Fallin’ for you, even though I know you’re only playin’ with my heart.
Tomorrow might be hell,
But a night or two of lovin’ you is better than never at all,
And I can’t help myself,
So I’ll just hold on.
I’ll just hold on.
I’ll just hold on,
Until you’re gone.
Their eyes met once more at the chorus, but Adam was no longer sitting there in the crowded theatre. Instead, he was back in his own bed at home several days before. Legs tangled together, arm stretched across Blake’s chest, fingers folded around his neck, and his scruffy face resting against his broad shoulder. Breathing in the familiar scent of spicy cedar in his nostrils, he’d sworn he had died and gone directly to Heaven. He could have lain there forever, so warm, so happy. It had been a long time since he felt so at peace in one moment. Falling asleep each night and waking up each morning to Blake Shelton was something he could easily grow accustomed to. Yet, he had done all that he could to run away from it, because he had been subconsciously trained to wait patiently for that other shoe to drop. Happiness always had a cost, and the better it was, the more it asked of you. And this time, it both promised him more of his best friend, but also threatened to ask him for that same thing, demanding that he choose between what was best for himself and what was best for the other man, … But staring up at him now, listening to those words, those butterflies in the pit of his gut returned at the thought of finding himself in those arms once again. Tasting that honey kiss. Surrendering to a desire that both paralyzed him with fear and overwhelmed him with hope.
I know you’re a gypsy soul,
And I’m just a stop along your road,
And you hang ‘round just long enough to blow my mind.
If I had a star for every scar
You tattooed on my heart,
I could fill up the Oklahoma sky.
So I just don’t know why….
Blake loved that Adam was too scared to watch American Horror Story alone, yet teased that Season 2 would start off with a bang that would make his buddy jump out of his skin. Blake loved that Adam spoiled Christina’s son Max and treated his golden retriever more like a child than an actual animal, but then claimed he wasn’t selfless enough to be ready to raise a kid of his own yet. Blake loved that Adam could capture an entire stage, in front of thousands, and seduce them with sheer unadulterated sex, and then turn around and blush in private, whenever Blake said he was beautiful. This man broke his heart a hundred times a day with his wonderful contradictions, and made him feel more in a single look than almost anybody. He had never known another person who could make him want and like them as much at the same time as this strange Maroon 5 lead singer. Wailing in front of what seemed like the whole world, he grinned at the truth - Blake loved- …
I’m fallin’ for you, even though I know you’re only playin’ with my heart.
Tomorrow might be hell,
But a night or two of lovin’ you is better than never at all,
And I can’t help myself,
So I’ll just hold on.
I’ll just hold on.
I’ll just hold on,
Until you’re gone.
Lump in the back of his throat and grinning from ear to ear, Adam barely registered moving his arm along the back of Behati’s seat, as his girlfriend cuddled up against his shoulder. He barely registered either her or Miranda. He tended to find himself listening to and watching singers all the time now. Picking out imperfections to help weed out the professionals from the amateurs. Finding flaws to improve upon and strengths to encourage. This should have been insanely easy for him to rest back and take in. However, it was anything but. His skin vibrated, fingertips tingled, and he was fighting the urge to instantly leap out of his chair. But he wasn’t completely sure that these feelings had started when the band took the stage. Foreplay in its purest form. Blake had easily taught him that yoga was not the best pre-show activity. There were a few other options as well. The recollection of hot steamy kisses that seemed to go on forever, but always ended much too soon for either of them, trembling hands traveling muscled bodies much too clothed than absolutely necessary. How he ever doubted what he wanted to do was simply foolish now.
So I’ll just hold on.
I’ll…. just hold on.
I’ll just hold on,
‘til you’re gone.
Belting out the last few notes, Blake grinned to himself crookedly, fingering the buttons along his vest, and stroking the soft material his best friend had so tenderly touched, as he had redressed him with such care in his dressing-room. He inhaled deeply, the warmth of his hands burning through him, if only in a new memory. Every time he had peeked down long enough for the lights behind and above him to cast a burst of light down upon him, Adam appeared to be thoroughly impressed and entertained, and it was then that he realized just how nervous he had been about performing before him. Of course, it was the challenge of trying to wow another Voice coach and just about one of the hottest pop stars on the planet right now, but it was also so much more. Yeah, oh yeah, it was true. He was man enough to accept it - He just sorta wanted Adam to like him.
I look down at my cell phone ringin’,
And I see your name, and I know what that means,
But I don’t care.
I’ll just hold on
‘til you’re gone.
Every time you leave, I take it hard,
But seeing you go just breaks my heart.
I don’t care.
I’ll just hold on
‘til you’re gone.
Your green eyes and the sweet red wine
Go to my head every time,
But I don’t care.
I’ll just hold on
‘til you’re gone, …..
Adam promised himself he would never again ignore the country crooner’s texts, particularly if they were miles away from one another. Helplessly bewitched by the man before him, he sheepishly admitted that this round most certainly went to Team Blake. He was pretty sure that he’d stopped breathing at that first note, the serenade succeeding in sweeping him off his feet. He knew those lyrics better than he would have ever confessed to the other man. There had not been a single moment in the last week or so he had not thought about Blake. He hated that the distraction reminded him of those adolescent days. The infamous Kara, who left him, and the rest of his high school friends, dizzy, nervous, and terribly frustrated. Too scared to make a real move, but too excited not to constantly think about trying. Adam was a grown man. He should have been immune to these feelings. Hell, he should have been immune to almost anybody at this point. In fact, not only was he not, it kinda comforted him. Crushing on Blake felt too good to be bad.
The frontman hadn’t realized he’d been daydreaming, until the tempo of the music triggered a change in the lights as well. Darkening around him and offering only a single spotlight, the taller man pulled out his stool, and grabbing his guitar, commenced his love song montage. God Gave Me You, Who Are You When I’m Not Looking, and Home. His wife brightened, as she had been the inspiration for all three, featured at the beginning of the video for the first, and the reason Blake had consider covering the last. The rest of the ladies in attendance tended to agree with her, the pretty words washing over them and hitting his intended target. Adam wanted that guilt that had been haunting him for the last few days to return at the smile on Miranda’s lovely face, or the feeling of Behati in his arms, but it didn’t. No, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt them, but his mind had been made up tonight. Or maybe since the very beginning of all of this. He wanted Blake, and Blake wanted him. It might not be the right thing to do when they were both spoken for, but it sure as hell was gonna happen. And the sooner the better too.
The second half of the concert moved as effortlessly as the first, the cheering folks all around enjoying it almost as much as Adam had. By the time Austin finally ended it, he wasn’t sure he could sit still a moment longer. Not only was it one of two of his favorite Blake Shelton songs, but it had been the first song he’d ever heard him sing. His new friend had been more than familiar with Maroon 5 and their music; he’d owned every one of their albums. But for his part, he’d never even heard of the superstar country singer before meeting him that day. So asking Christina and Cee Lo for help, he’d been told that if he was not affected by Blake’s first true hit, he didn’t have a heart. Never one to decline a dare, he’d listened, and proceeded to fail miserably. Long before the touching end too. The silky caramel tone made him smile from the very beginning. He lost himself in the tale of love lost being born again. Adam might not have been a genius when it came to country music, but one thing was for certain - He knew a good song when he heard one. And he wished he could conjure up enough of that helpless sentiment to write a true-blue love song like that. Know what it was like to be so much in love that it hurt to give up on it. Sure, his heart had been broken in the past, but once a girl left, she was gone, and he talked himself into letting her go as soon as humanly possible. Which was relatively fair because nobody was dying to call him, proclaiming “P.S. If This is Adam, I Still Love You.” Clearly, they had no trouble moving on either.
His standing ovation went on for close to five minutes, as if the frenzied rumbling was fighting to tear down the walls. They weren’t done with him yet. And by the time the guitar riff for Honey Bee commenced, both Adam and Miranda were laughing hysterically at them all, the rest of the audience splitting their eardrums with screams. Blake reappeared with one of his patterned aw shucks grins. “Alright, I think I still have a little left for ya. We can go another round, if you want me so bad.”
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3