ahem.
Dear Inflated Pampered Americans:
please understand that you are not special because you are spending money. you get goods for your money, so it's a fair exchange, we do not owe you past the agreement. so please, do not come to P. F Chang's CHINA bistro and order chicken nuggets. neither do we have a kids menu, nor any american food items at our CHINESE food restauraunt. you are not so special that the fifty items on our menu are not good enough for you, no we have to have fifty one items to offer. when i don't understand why you are asking for ketchup, it is because i am working in a CHINESE food resauraunt and cannot comprehend why you think we have ketchup. if you want chicken cuggets, there is a McDonalad's down the street. we are not a fast food joint, this isn't have it your way even if your way is inside out and on one foot bouncing in circles singing the lithuanian national anthem. but we cater, and the joke is on you that you just asked to pay thirteen dollars for chicken nuggets.
Dear Laguna Beach Imitator girl in my Math 04 class.
i am going to throw your cell phone at your over highlighted head. your rapid fire texting is loud, distracting, and rude. it's a blatant disrespect to the teacher, and i hope your fingers have severe arthritis by the time you're 20. let me clarify this: WE ARE NOT FRIENDS because you lean over to me to whisper exasperated about how like, totally boring this math class is, and how like totally bogus it is that it's two hours long. you made your own schedule airhead. i dont care that you are SO ready for the beach. it has been made apparent by the flip flops sewn to your feet, unbudged by the bitter and icy cold. no, old man winter, shes still ready for the beach. see, you're not allowed to make it THAT cold outside because she still has her rainbows and OC ripoff oversized sunglasses on. also back to the cell phone, please just keep it in your mondo huge louis vuitton/coach/whateveruglypopular brand "look how much money my mommy and daddy have" bags. because if you let it buzz to announce yet another text message, it will be your cell phone's doom.
Dear idiot assholes too impatient to wait inline behind everyone who is in the right lane because we know the left lane ends immediately following the stoplight:
when the light turns green and you left laners try to merge, i will not let you over. you know as well as i do that the left lane merges into the right, yet everyday before school, you try to zoom ahead of the long line and merge your way in twenty cars ahead because you dont want to wait like everyother respectful driver. that is called CUTTING. and if another asshole just bulls his way in WITH OUT A GODDAMNED SIGNAL at least, i will kamikaze your ass and turn us both into the carnage of two raging fireballs of twisted metal and glass.
sincerely, mckenzie.
please understand that you are not special because you are spending money. you get goods for your money, so it's a fair exchange, we do not owe you past the agreement. so please, do not come to P. F Chang's CHINA bistro and order chicken nuggets. neither do we have a kids menu, nor any american food items at our CHINESE food restauraunt. you are not so special that the fifty items on our menu are not good enough for you, no we have to have fifty one items to offer. when i don't understand why you are asking for ketchup, it is because i am working in a CHINESE food resauraunt and cannot comprehend why you think we have ketchup. if you want chicken cuggets, there is a McDonalad's down the street. we are not a fast food joint, this isn't have it your way even if your way is inside out and on one foot bouncing in circles singing the lithuanian national anthem. but we cater, and the joke is on you that you just asked to pay thirteen dollars for chicken nuggets.
Dear Laguna Beach Imitator girl in my Math 04 class.
i am going to throw your cell phone at your over highlighted head. your rapid fire texting is loud, distracting, and rude. it's a blatant disrespect to the teacher, and i hope your fingers have severe arthritis by the time you're 20. let me clarify this: WE ARE NOT FRIENDS because you lean over to me to whisper exasperated about how like, totally boring this math class is, and how like totally bogus it is that it's two hours long. you made your own schedule airhead. i dont care that you are SO ready for the beach. it has been made apparent by the flip flops sewn to your feet, unbudged by the bitter and icy cold. no, old man winter, shes still ready for the beach. see, you're not allowed to make it THAT cold outside because she still has her rainbows and OC ripoff oversized sunglasses on. also back to the cell phone, please just keep it in your mondo huge louis vuitton/coach/whateveruglypopular brand "look how much money my mommy and daddy have" bags. because if you let it buzz to announce yet another text message, it will be your cell phone's doom.
Dear idiot assholes too impatient to wait inline behind everyone who is in the right lane because we know the left lane ends immediately following the stoplight:
when the light turns green and you left laners try to merge, i will not let you over. you know as well as i do that the left lane merges into the right, yet everyday before school, you try to zoom ahead of the long line and merge your way in twenty cars ahead because you dont want to wait like everyother respectful driver. that is called CUTTING. and if another asshole just bulls his way in WITH OUT A GODDAMNED SIGNAL at least, i will kamikaze your ass and turn us both into the carnage of two raging fireballs of twisted metal and glass.
sincerely, mckenzie.