[locked to Mina, Rebecca, Emma Grace, and anyone else who saw him after he took those drugs]
It's stupid, alright? I know it was stupid, and far from what I should have done. I know and it was stupid and childish and I should have confronted my anger instead of being petty like that and I'm sorry. It won't happen again
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No matter what it seemed that I implied doesn't mean that I feel that way, Becca. I can say it a hundred times and I will if I need to. I love you for you, and I always have, no matter what. You could give up trying to be clean and sober and I'd be sad for a while but I'd still love you and support you. I don't know how else to convince you.
The thing is? It wasn't about anyone fucking up. Anyone except me that is, because I know I did royally.
I'm proud of you for that, Rebecca. I am so proud because you don't need that stuff when you've got people like the guys and Caz and me. You were in so much pain and it didn't go away or so it seemed to me, when you were on the heavy drugs. I am well aware of the pain Mina's having and it scared me to death that she saw no other alternative but the one you did. I don't want her to have to go through the same pain that being a drug addict caused you. This is Percy Weasley in me right here, but I felt like I couldn't help you but maybe I could have helped her. Of course I see the faulty logic in that now but when my temper had gotten the better of me I didn't. I should have talked things out instead of yelling. I was a git plain and simple. If I could take it back I would. In fact... I made Judge punch me in the head for it.
*softly*
It wasn't stupid that you couldn't stop. It's not like it's that simple. And Rebecca? You don't have to fight anything when it comes to me. I promise.
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Adam? Things are really really hard right now. I can't do this fighting thing. I can't... *shudders just a little*
I want it. I miss closing my eyes and feeling nothingness surround me. Even with everyone around me. Even with all of this love that wells up. I still miss oblivion. What kind of monster am I? You may have your father in you, but who is it that I'm channeling? You have a reason for being angry sometimes. What's my fucking excuse?
I wish you hadn't gotten mad at Mina. She's got enough problems without people going off on her for things like this. Or for anything, really. *laughs* You made Judge punch you? That's really oddly amusing.
I never said you said it, Adam. Mum said it. People in school did too. Hell, I said it about myself half the fucking time.
I'm fighting the drugs, Adam. If I stop fighting that, all hope is lost.
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I don't want to fight either. Struggling doesn't make you a monster, Rebecca. I don't care if you have an excuse or not or what it is. I don't think anyone else does, either. You're allowed to struggle you know. That's why it's called a fight, because there's struggling. You've not given in to the struggle. In my book that's called winning. Maybe you haven't won yet but you're on your way and I am so proud of you. I have never know a stronger person than you.
I wish I hadn't either. She and I have talked things out and we're okay now. I know how to deal with it better and I know that weed is mostly harmless. *smiles sheepishly and shows her the bruise on his temple* I did. He's a good man. I think they will be good for each other.
I'm on your side with that, you know. I'll help you through the struggle any way that I can, anyway that you need. I love you.
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I just hate feeling so fucking weak, Adam. I hate HAVING to fight so bloody hard. *looks up at him, her eyes filling with tears again* Say it again. Please? Say you're proud of me?
*nods* I'm glad you all talked it out... I hate when there's weirdness between people I love. It makes everything so much harder. *frowns and kisses the bruise extra-gently* He is a good guy. They're all good guys. Really. I've been so lucky to get to know them all.
I know. I really do know, Adam. As hard as things get, as many times as we trip over each other and argue? I still know. I love you too, brother-man.
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Oh baby, you aren't weak. You're one of the strongest people I know. You're strong for me and for Caz and for everyone you love. You just need to be strong for you.
*kisses her forehead and her cheeks* I am so proud of you. I am proud of you for everything. I'm proud of you for making the decision to try to quit drugs. I'm proud of you for being as smart and caring and wonderful as you are. I'm proud to call my you my sister. Hell, I'm proud to know you, Rebecca. I'm proud to love you.
I'm glad we talked it out too. I adore her, and I don't want her feeling down because we're fighting. I'm glad she's spreading her wings and living in America. I want her to be happy. *smiles when she kisses him* They seem pretty neat and I like their music too.
*has to work not tear up, if possible holds her even closer*
I think us knowing that will get us through anything.
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