Chapter Five: Not My Thing
OOC: Before I begin, I think it's important to quickly note that Jess is in an exam as I write this, so good luck! I'm thinking of you, as are Adam, Tim, Harry, Ellis and Vinny (and quite possibly Darwin, Kayla and Bessie - who may be praying for you). Oh, and also: please note that I have no real clue about snow or how it falls or winter in England, so I'm just guessing.
Miracle (mi-ruh-kuhl) n. Extraordinary even which has no natural explanation and hence is ascribed to some supernatural agency.
Supernatural (soo-puh-nach-uh-ruhl) adj. Not attributed to, or explicable by, the laws of nature; magical; mystical.
It was no secret that Timothy Stackhouse was a skeptic. Not only did he drill it into the minds of those around him, but even before someone met him, they could pick that he was a sceptic. He took no nonsense from anyone, and anything that couldn't be proven was rubbish.
Ellis Rudd, like any other child, had grown up with fantasy books about Wishing Chairs and Faraway Trees; and, like any other child, had always dreamed that these fantasies could come true. Ellis had, of course, grown up since then, but still that hope that her fantasies would come true lingered in her mind. These fantasies were slightly more achievable, however, than finding a chair with tiny little wings on each one of it's legs that would take her wherever she wanted to go.
It was quite possibly because of these two facts that, as the two sat at a table at the back of the library, Tim was frowning and grumbling to himself, while Ellis was beaming at him.
In Tim's experience, if someone doesn't understand the basics, they can never understand anything else. Therefore, they must be taught the basics first. On the other hand, if someone does understand the basics but does not understand anything else, then they really have no hope.
"I could have explained this to my cat ..." Tim muttered, glaring down at his page.
"You have a cat?" Ellis asked, suddenly, ignoring the insult.
Tim looked up at her, surprised and slightly annoyed that, firstly, she ignored his insult, and secondly she could possibly think that he would ever own a cat.
"No." He said, shortly, turning back to his book.
"Oh." Ellis sighed. "So, why did you say 'my cat', then?"
Groaning, Tim decided he really did have to answer her. Or did he? May as well be polite.
"My sister's cat." He amended. "Cats aren't my thing."
"Ah," Ellis smiled. "I see. So your sister, is she younger than you?"
"Older." Tim replied, suddenly realising that there no one in the world who he could ever have a proper, intelligent conversation with. People always wanted to know about him.
"I've got three younger brothers," Ellis explained. "All capable of being rather annoying or cute or normal at random intervals. Of course, if one of them is being normal, one is being cute and the other is being annoying. It gets ..." she trailed off, searching for a better term than 'annoying' to end it with.
"Irritating?" Supplied Tim.
"Yes." She grinned at him. "Younger brothers can be like that." Pause. "Were you ever like that?"
"Apparently." Tim replied, flipping back through the pages and scribbling down some notes. "You might want these," he said, tearing a piece of paper from his folder and handing it to her.
"Thanks," she took them, looking and sounding apathetic. "You didn't play pranks on her, did you? Stuff her in any boxes?"
"Didn't dare." Tim replied, totally unaware that he was entering into what some people called 'civilised' chatter. "Two sisters could pay me back twice as badly."
"Two older sisters?" Ellis repeated, and laughed. "I wonder how you lived through your childhood."
"Ah, I was smarter than them." Tim looked up at her, finally closing his books. "They got a little confused when I used words with more than on syllable."
Ellis laughed again. She had a brilliant laugh - not like those girls who giggled constantly, nor was it a boring half-laugh. She really laughed, and she sounded like someone from this planet.
Tim squinted, debating with himself.
"Do you want to go for a walk?" He said, tightly.
"Sure." Ellis wondered about his tone, but the question was there.
It was getting extremely cold these days, so a nice walk around the grounds wasn't something that most people bothered with. Ellis and Tim pulled on their coats, jackets, scarfs and gloves and headed outside. There was no wind, luckily, and the snow which fell in the later days of November was surprisingly light.
Tim glanced over at the brunette, watching her breath as she hunched over, keeping her chin underneath the warmth of her scarf. She looked back at him and grinned.
"You remind me of my dad," she said unexpectedly.
Tim was taken aback. "I do?"
"Mhmm," she nodded, still smiling. "Just the way you looked right then. He used to always say to me that if I ever let my chin get caught out in the cold, I would catch pneumonia."
"What?" Tim really was confused.
Ellis laughed, and pulled at her scarf. Tim nodded, and pursed his lips as they continued through the cold.
"I can't say you remind me of my mother," he remarked, "but that might just be because you never inherited any ghastly accent."
"Did you just make a joke?" Ellis stopped mid-step, staring at him bewildered. "You did, didn't you? Well, it was slightly funny. You could work on it a little ..."
"Okay, okay," Tim put a hand up. "Thanks. I get enough of that from Adam, I don't need it from you."
Something had changed in Tim's tone of voice in the past few minutes; the harshness had sort of melted away and he was quite possibly on the verge of smiling - although he hadn't done so as yet.
"I'm sorry," Ellis said, amused. "I can't help it. But, now that you mention your mother, do you miss her? You're so far away ... do you ever get homesick?"
"Do I come across as a guy who's homesick?" Tim asked, actually quite curious.
"Um, I don't know. You really aren't the kind of person anyone can tell anything about."
With all of his shortcomings, Tim had never believed that he was difficult to read. He imagined that people understood - far more than he did - but, understanding his wishes to keep his feelings out of conversation, they had not said anything.
"Anything?" He asked her, a very strange sound entering his tone now.
"Well ... almost anything," Ellis was a little bemused as to what Tim was reacting to. "I suppose Adam - being the intuitive guy that he is - understands a fair few things about you. It's just that you've got this way of behaving, it's not quite cold, but it's enough to keep people away. In a way, it's sort of smart. Only the people who really care stick around."
"That's pretty deep, Ellis." Tim struggled to keep his voice level.
"Psychology student." Ellis shrugged.
"So ... you think I'm tying to protect myself, then?"
"How would I know?" Ellis gave Tim an innocent look, which annoyed him to no end.
You knew that much, he thought.
"Oh, but just there? The reason we're getting into this conversation - you were avoiding my question about whether you missed your mother, your home. Answering my question with a question. Well, not really answering."
Ellis wished he would say something. She'd hit home for the guy, and had no way out of it.
"I miss home." She said abruptly.
"Yeah ... but how often do you get to go back?"
"Oh, not as often as, say, Adam would." Off Tim's confused look, she added; "I lived in Wales, but my parents moved after I finished school. Now they live in Edinburgh. I can only see them during the holidays. I know that's still more often than you get to go home. You've been here three years, and have only been home once. I can't imagine what it would be like to miss a Christmas - even once - with my family."
Tim only nodded, and Ellis was surprised at the frustration that this simple nodding his his head caused her. Couldn't he say anything in response? Couldn't he open up to her?
"He doesn't know you." Vinny pointed out.
"I know."
"You also know that he doesn't open up. It takes everyone around him to figure him out. You even said that. If you're going to get so frustrated, you shouldn't bother with this."
"You give up so easily."
"No." Vinny said, firmly. "I am telling you that if you can't deal with this, then stop before you get any further. If you know for sure that you're going to be able to deal with him, well go ahead! He's a delicate guy, Ellis, and you're not exactly great under pressure."
The two sort of paused for a second, looked at each other and then burst out laughing. Although it was true, and they were in a very serious conversation, their ties with Adam meant that any mention of the word 'delicate' in reference to Tim was laughable.
"You could always --"
"No."
"What if --"
"No."
"You're so coming."
"No."
Adam was having a little trouble with Tim at that moment. Tim was being awfully stubborn, having been upset by something earlier on in the day, which Adam failed to dig deep enough into. Right now, however, Adam was attempting to coax Tim into agreeing to attend a Christmas party before everyone went home, and he was doing a shocking job of it.
"Why won't you go?"
"I don't like you."
"Apart from that?"
"I have better things to do with my life."
"No you don't." Adam argued. "You really don't. Oh, no wait, there's this whole moping-about-something-you-won't-tell-me thing you've got going lately. I suppose you could spend time on that. Come on, Tim, what's going on?"
"Even if was in a good mood - which is highly doubtful to ever happen - I wouldn't want to come." Tim said.
"Tim. You're usually an insulting kind of guy, but right now you are in a mood that totally cuts."
Adam wasn't smiling. Usually there was a tiny hint of a smile when he pretended not to smile. He wasn't pretending right now. Tim was upset, though, and Tim being upset warranted no smiles from Adam.
"I'm sure you'll get over it." Tim replied harshly.
"I probably won't actually." His friend disagreed. "This could be one of the things that could end a friendship, you know."
"Yeah, if we were, like, five."
"You're going home this year, Tim, people want to see you."
"People? Like who?"
"People actually want to like you, you know. People don't go around purposely hurting everyone they meet. You're not some specific target, Tim. People joke around you because they're unsure. People are afraid of saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing. You're intimidating. Do you know what happens to intimidating people?"
"No. I don't. But I'm sure you're going to tell me."
"They get hurt the worst. Do you know why? Because others are in-tim-i-dat-ed. Puts others on their guard. Sodding hell, Tim. Stop it!"
Tim stood up and walked into the bathroom.
"It's same place it was last year, same time. Ellis will be there." Adam called as he gathered up his things and headed off to his next class.
Tim shook his head, staring into the mirror as he leaned over the basin.
"Can people stop analysing me?" He growled.
Adam twisted his scarf around his neck as he hurried down the stairs.
"Can that boy take a look at himself?" He muttered.
Miracle (mi-ruh-kuhl) n. Extraordinary even which has no natural explanation and hence is ascribed to some supernatural agency.
Supernatural (soo-puh-nach-uh-ruhl) adj. Not attributed to, or explicable by, the laws of nature; magical; mystical.
It was no secret that Timothy Stackhouse was a skeptic. Not only did he drill it into the minds of those around him, but even before someone met him, they could pick that he was a sceptic. He took no nonsense from anyone, and anything that couldn't be proven was rubbish.
Ellis Rudd, like any other child, had grown up with fantasy books about Wishing Chairs and Faraway Trees; and, like any other child, had always dreamed that these fantasies could come true. Ellis had, of course, grown up since then, but still that hope that her fantasies would come true lingered in her mind. These fantasies were slightly more achievable, however, than finding a chair with tiny little wings on each one of it's legs that would take her wherever she wanted to go.
It was quite possibly because of these two facts that, as the two sat at a table at the back of the library, Tim was frowning and grumbling to himself, while Ellis was beaming at him.
In Tim's experience, if someone doesn't understand the basics, they can never understand anything else. Therefore, they must be taught the basics first. On the other hand, if someone does understand the basics but does not understand anything else, then they really have no hope.
"I could have explained this to my cat ..." Tim muttered, glaring down at his page.
"You have a cat?" Ellis asked, suddenly, ignoring the insult.
Tim looked up at her, surprised and slightly annoyed that, firstly, she ignored his insult, and secondly she could possibly think that he would ever own a cat.
"No." He said, shortly, turning back to his book.
"Oh." Ellis sighed. "So, why did you say 'my cat', then?"
Groaning, Tim decided he really did have to answer her. Or did he? May as well be polite.
"My sister's cat." He amended. "Cats aren't my thing."
"Ah," Ellis smiled. "I see. So your sister, is she younger than you?"
"Older." Tim replied, suddenly realising that there no one in the world who he could ever have a proper, intelligent conversation with. People always wanted to know about him.
"I've got three younger brothers," Ellis explained. "All capable of being rather annoying or cute or normal at random intervals. Of course, if one of them is being normal, one is being cute and the other is being annoying. It gets ..." she trailed off, searching for a better term than 'annoying' to end it with.
"Irritating?" Supplied Tim.
"Yes." She grinned at him. "Younger brothers can be like that." Pause. "Were you ever like that?"
"Apparently." Tim replied, flipping back through the pages and scribbling down some notes. "You might want these," he said, tearing a piece of paper from his folder and handing it to her.
"Thanks," she took them, looking and sounding apathetic. "You didn't play pranks on her, did you? Stuff her in any boxes?"
"Didn't dare." Tim replied, totally unaware that he was entering into what some people called 'civilised' chatter. "Two sisters could pay me back twice as badly."
"Two older sisters?" Ellis repeated, and laughed. "I wonder how you lived through your childhood."
"Ah, I was smarter than them." Tim looked up at her, finally closing his books. "They got a little confused when I used words with more than on syllable."
Ellis laughed again. She had a brilliant laugh - not like those girls who giggled constantly, nor was it a boring half-laugh. She really laughed, and she sounded like someone from this planet.
Tim squinted, debating with himself.
"Do you want to go for a walk?" He said, tightly.
"Sure." Ellis wondered about his tone, but the question was there.
It was getting extremely cold these days, so a nice walk around the grounds wasn't something that most people bothered with. Ellis and Tim pulled on their coats, jackets, scarfs and gloves and headed outside. There was no wind, luckily, and the snow which fell in the later days of November was surprisingly light.
Tim glanced over at the brunette, watching her breath as she hunched over, keeping her chin underneath the warmth of her scarf. She looked back at him and grinned.
"You remind me of my dad," she said unexpectedly.
Tim was taken aback. "I do?"
"Mhmm," she nodded, still smiling. "Just the way you looked right then. He used to always say to me that if I ever let my chin get caught out in the cold, I would catch pneumonia."
"What?" Tim really was confused.
Ellis laughed, and pulled at her scarf. Tim nodded, and pursed his lips as they continued through the cold.
"I can't say you remind me of my mother," he remarked, "but that might just be because you never inherited any ghastly accent."
"Did you just make a joke?" Ellis stopped mid-step, staring at him bewildered. "You did, didn't you? Well, it was slightly funny. You could work on it a little ..."
"Okay, okay," Tim put a hand up. "Thanks. I get enough of that from Adam, I don't need it from you."
Something had changed in Tim's tone of voice in the past few minutes; the harshness had sort of melted away and he was quite possibly on the verge of smiling - although he hadn't done so as yet.
"I'm sorry," Ellis said, amused. "I can't help it. But, now that you mention your mother, do you miss her? You're so far away ... do you ever get homesick?"
"Do I come across as a guy who's homesick?" Tim asked, actually quite curious.
"Um, I don't know. You really aren't the kind of person anyone can tell anything about."
With all of his shortcomings, Tim had never believed that he was difficult to read. He imagined that people understood - far more than he did - but, understanding his wishes to keep his feelings out of conversation, they had not said anything.
"Anything?" He asked her, a very strange sound entering his tone now.
"Well ... almost anything," Ellis was a little bemused as to what Tim was reacting to. "I suppose Adam - being the intuitive guy that he is - understands a fair few things about you. It's just that you've got this way of behaving, it's not quite cold, but it's enough to keep people away. In a way, it's sort of smart. Only the people who really care stick around."
"That's pretty deep, Ellis." Tim struggled to keep his voice level.
"Psychology student." Ellis shrugged.
"So ... you think I'm tying to protect myself, then?"
"How would I know?" Ellis gave Tim an innocent look, which annoyed him to no end.
You knew that much, he thought.
"Oh, but just there? The reason we're getting into this conversation - you were avoiding my question about whether you missed your mother, your home. Answering my question with a question. Well, not really answering."
Ellis wished he would say something. She'd hit home for the guy, and had no way out of it.
"I miss home." She said abruptly.
"Yeah ... but how often do you get to go back?"
"Oh, not as often as, say, Adam would." Off Tim's confused look, she added; "I lived in Wales, but my parents moved after I finished school. Now they live in Edinburgh. I can only see them during the holidays. I know that's still more often than you get to go home. You've been here three years, and have only been home once. I can't imagine what it would be like to miss a Christmas - even once - with my family."
Tim only nodded, and Ellis was surprised at the frustration that this simple nodding his his head caused her. Couldn't he say anything in response? Couldn't he open up to her?
"He doesn't know you." Vinny pointed out.
"I know."
"You also know that he doesn't open up. It takes everyone around him to figure him out. You even said that. If you're going to get so frustrated, you shouldn't bother with this."
"You give up so easily."
"No." Vinny said, firmly. "I am telling you that if you can't deal with this, then stop before you get any further. If you know for sure that you're going to be able to deal with him, well go ahead! He's a delicate guy, Ellis, and you're not exactly great under pressure."
The two sort of paused for a second, looked at each other and then burst out laughing. Although it was true, and they were in a very serious conversation, their ties with Adam meant that any mention of the word 'delicate' in reference to Tim was laughable.
"You could always --"
"No."
"What if --"
"No."
"You're so coming."
"No."
Adam was having a little trouble with Tim at that moment. Tim was being awfully stubborn, having been upset by something earlier on in the day, which Adam failed to dig deep enough into. Right now, however, Adam was attempting to coax Tim into agreeing to attend a Christmas party before everyone went home, and he was doing a shocking job of it.
"Why won't you go?"
"I don't like you."
"Apart from that?"
"I have better things to do with my life."
"No you don't." Adam argued. "You really don't. Oh, no wait, there's this whole moping-about-something-you-won't-tell-me thing you've got going lately. I suppose you could spend time on that. Come on, Tim, what's going on?"
"Even if was in a good mood - which is highly doubtful to ever happen - I wouldn't want to come." Tim said.
"Tim. You're usually an insulting kind of guy, but right now you are in a mood that totally cuts."
Adam wasn't smiling. Usually there was a tiny hint of a smile when he pretended not to smile. He wasn't pretending right now. Tim was upset, though, and Tim being upset warranted no smiles from Adam.
"I'm sure you'll get over it." Tim replied harshly.
"I probably won't actually." His friend disagreed. "This could be one of the things that could end a friendship, you know."
"Yeah, if we were, like, five."
"You're going home this year, Tim, people want to see you."
"People? Like who?"
"People actually want to like you, you know. People don't go around purposely hurting everyone they meet. You're not some specific target, Tim. People joke around you because they're unsure. People are afraid of saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing. You're intimidating. Do you know what happens to intimidating people?"
"No. I don't. But I'm sure you're going to tell me."
"They get hurt the worst. Do you know why? Because others are in-tim-i-dat-ed. Puts others on their guard. Sodding hell, Tim. Stop it!"
Tim stood up and walked into the bathroom.
"It's same place it was last year, same time. Ellis will be there." Adam called as he gathered up his things and headed off to his next class.
Tim shook his head, staring into the mirror as he leaned over the basin.
"Can people stop analysing me?" He growled.
Adam twisted his scarf around his neck as he hurried down the stairs.
"Can that boy take a look at himself?" He muttered.