MIA - somewhere in the vicinity of Homelands - 27/28 5/05 15:00+
Hokay, so the day starts and im already on the front bonnet of a moving car, thing is as im grippin ...i mean clawing on for dear life to the front of a mini (yes it is a small space)and im trying to balance fear, laughter and sheer grip for life as the sudden approach, of whats apparent as large dirt humps, with the vison of cows humping (which of course made me curious as i did not know they could move in that way!) and the sudden memory of my main man joshodeath being behind the wheel. So i found myself climbing on to the roof for what i thought would be more safety, but no, so before i know it subconsciously i am pushing myself off towards what seems the oh-so welcoming yet blurred ground. It was either that or probably a tree.
so i ended walking the rest.
not alone.
i had my limp with me.
Anyway we get there and yoshi is like "dude...green" and im like "where?" and hes so like "Dude...your green" and then im like "no im not...im white" so Yoshi is omg like "No dude wheres you green?" so i go "dude why didnt you say so?" and hes so like "oh...i dunno". so we establish its in my pocket and no one will ever find it and then as the events fold out i find the guard actually managed to find and compress it..without moticing....bastards!
Anyway i can only express some of the things that happened either in a list or Ethiopian for it to comprehensible. and since i cant speak fluent Ethiopian ill go for the list:
1. GIG JACKETS:oh yeah pimpin style fur, busted inside out, the original way, fortunately we were the first to do this so everyone else froze later, when they were pretty much sold out. And yes it does get hot raving with them, but it does also get you loads o pictures.
2. AFTER-SHOCK FREE WATER GUNS AND PIES: well everyone was on drugs so how could you not expect chaotic and wholly silly western duels! With a lil Bugsy Malone feel thrown in.....HAHA.....revenge!
3. BECK: proud author of the Becktionary played all his hits in about two minutes, the i ran for the hills!
4. GUANTANAMO BAY: I swear the complex was on complete lockdown. It was round about a suare mile in size and was layered by these huge wooden fences that were green and full of P. Then there were exits between fences guarded by guess what.......guards! After this was another layer of green fencing this time with only two exits also heavily guarded. After that was a huge fricking hill, the kind one falls down....then rolls down.....and keeps on rolling ......and then stops.....in a wall! And at the top of this impossibly huge hill was more fencing..of the metal kind. Not to mention the border-patrol. Damn those jeeps!And it may have been a manifstation of my mind but im pretty sure i saw a couple Apache helicopters too.
5. FLASHING LIGHTS: Beware! while annebriated, large fairground rides with illuminating lights can become hypnotic. Users must try to stay capacitated so as not to freeze or become a bargain shop for other festival goers!
6. WORD OF THE DAY: Dwindling: "dude im seriously dwindling away here.....(falls to gorund)"
7. AOL: Being an aol user i am still so very dubious about this, they are watching all of us: and are only looking for men and women!
8. SNEAKY ONE LEGGED PPL: Watch out for Dj's with one leg that only let you know through the easy co-ersion of TV. Especially ones with backstage all access that dont come back with free beer or food, or even the pass to get to your car!
9. PILLS: However happy one may be people on pills are bad with directions,even worse with listening, always take rope!
10. SUPERMAN, BATMAN & CATWOMAN: We will have the last laugh, cos we are evil guys in pimp jackets and we soaked your cape, haha try flying now! Ahhhh spandex, nooooooooooooooooo! Damn it spandex is just scary when wet.N.B. water pistols not good evil villain weapon.
11. FJGB (FE-JI-GA-BAH): A mighty nice replacement for a swear word that is flexible enough to cover any situation that is bad painful or completely hopeless.
12. RIZLA DROUGHT: Five minutes just to 'acquire' a big rizla!!! It's supposed to be a festival!!! Disappointed (hanging head in shame).Why? Why? For the love of God?
13. HOMIE THE LAMB: A coy young inflatable lamb youthful in age and even younger in death. Later after post-mortem we discoverd the cause of death was a peircing wound straight through his head. Poor thing didn't stand a chance!
14. MISSING HEADBAND AND WHIP: To anyone seeking a missing whip or headband from one of the stalls we came across it and didn't see any lost property. We'll keep them safe for you till you tell us.
15. OH YES AND THE FLASHING SIREN TOO: but thanks for getting a mini through traffic even easier.
16. BUMPER CARS: A whole game in reverse, hahaha, new heights dude!
17. PLEASE MIND YOUR STEP: Beware druggies reign below, watch out for all those spazzing on the floor, oh and watch out for huge f***ing spiders too, think (pointiing) that guy saw em.
18. GROOVE ARMADA: Praise ye lords of celestial open air head fucking lit up like the fiery eyes of Allah with bass that puts almighty cream cheese to shame and bongos that make your feet beat when your gone like Pete Tong. ...to pretty much sum it up.
19. JEDIS: OMG! everywhere!
20. "DONT SPLIT UP , NO BATTERY!": we split up three more times after that. I even went on a journey when it happened once, but bringing back gifts. Damn really could o done with that rope.
21. MAGIC BEANS: My gift, i found magic beans, of the small nature but that make you big and strong and energetic, hehehe and not drugs! Take some of these friend......
22. SHROOMS: comversely these were drugs and once again i must remind myself do not ever ingest without appropriate liquid sources from a reputable and humungous source of which there is plenty. though any damn drink will do. I ended up running the rest of the way to the watering hole though flying was more apparent to me.
23. WEED: Oh thank God! and what a shame the girls missed out, damn those forgetful pills hey.
24. CRAZY JAPDJ: not another funny word here, this guy was awesome, not only did he bounce up and down but his tracks, drops, and his fusions were so good.
25. VISUALS AND LASERS: can cause temporary congestion of raving. beware hypnotism once again. Soooo inviting....
26. REWARD FOR MISSING VOICE: It is soo hard to have a conversation when your best mate has the attention span of a fly on speed in a barn full of ether covered manure! Coulda used the rope again to tie his head down.
27. WINCHESTER TOWN CENTRE THE GROUND OF ALL EVIL: damn this place and its lack of noticable roads and abundance of unnoticable pathways. Never thought we'd escape!!
28. THE MYSTERY OF THE MOTORWAY BOYS: If anyone finds any body's onthe M3 i can identify. One of lifes mysteries: an 80 mile stretch of motorway and bang slap in the middle near no signs of existance sat two boys by a bridge just walking - absolutely nowhere. how they get there, still rremains a mystery. Yeah someone might wanna check that.
so i ended walking the rest.
not alone.
i had my limp with me.
Anyway we get there and yoshi is like "dude...green" and im like "where?" and hes so like "Dude...your green" and then im like "no im not...im white" so Yoshi is omg like "No dude wheres you green?" so i go "dude why didnt you say so?" and hes so like "oh...i dunno". so we establish its in my pocket and no one will ever find it and then as the events fold out i find the guard actually managed to find and compress it..without moticing....bastards!
Anyway i can only express some of the things that happened either in a list or Ethiopian for it to comprehensible. and since i cant speak fluent Ethiopian ill go for the list:
1. GIG JACKETS:oh yeah pimpin style fur, busted inside out, the original way, fortunately we were the first to do this so everyone else froze later, when they were pretty much sold out. And yes it does get hot raving with them, but it does also get you loads o pictures.
2. AFTER-SHOCK FREE WATER GUNS AND PIES: well everyone was on drugs so how could you not expect chaotic and wholly silly western duels! With a lil Bugsy Malone feel thrown in.....HAHA.....revenge!
3. BECK: proud author of the Becktionary played all his hits in about two minutes, the i ran for the hills!
4. GUANTANAMO BAY: I swear the complex was on complete lockdown. It was round about a suare mile in size and was layered by these huge wooden fences that were green and full of P. Then there were exits between fences guarded by guess what.......guards! After this was another layer of green fencing this time with only two exits also heavily guarded. After that was a huge fricking hill, the kind one falls down....then rolls down.....and keeps on rolling ......and then stops.....in a wall! And at the top of this impossibly huge hill was more fencing..of the metal kind. Not to mention the border-patrol. Damn those jeeps!And it may have been a manifstation of my mind but im pretty sure i saw a couple Apache helicopters too.
5. FLASHING LIGHTS: Beware! while annebriated, large fairground rides with illuminating lights can become hypnotic. Users must try to stay capacitated so as not to freeze or become a bargain shop for other festival goers!
6. WORD OF THE DAY: Dwindling: "dude im seriously dwindling away here.....(falls to gorund)"
7. AOL: Being an aol user i am still so very dubious about this, they are watching all of us: and are only looking for men and women!
8. SNEAKY ONE LEGGED PPL: Watch out for Dj's with one leg that only let you know through the easy co-ersion of TV. Especially ones with backstage all access that dont come back with free beer or food, or even the pass to get to your car!
9. PILLS: However happy one may be people on pills are bad with directions,even worse with listening, always take rope!
10. SUPERMAN, BATMAN & CATWOMAN: We will have the last laugh, cos we are evil guys in pimp jackets and we soaked your cape, haha try flying now! Ahhhh spandex, nooooooooooooooooo! Damn it spandex is just scary when wet.N.B. water pistols not good evil villain weapon.
11. FJGB (FE-JI-GA-BAH): A mighty nice replacement for a swear word that is flexible enough to cover any situation that is bad painful or completely hopeless.
12. RIZLA DROUGHT: Five minutes just to 'acquire' a big rizla!!! It's supposed to be a festival!!! Disappointed (hanging head in shame).Why? Why? For the love of God?
13. HOMIE THE LAMB: A coy young inflatable lamb youthful in age and even younger in death. Later after post-mortem we discoverd the cause of death was a peircing wound straight through his head. Poor thing didn't stand a chance!
14. MISSING HEADBAND AND WHIP: To anyone seeking a missing whip or headband from one of the stalls we came across it and didn't see any lost property. We'll keep them safe for you till you tell us.
15. OH YES AND THE FLASHING SIREN TOO: but thanks for getting a mini through traffic even easier.
16. BUMPER CARS: A whole game in reverse, hahaha, new heights dude!
17. PLEASE MIND YOUR STEP: Beware druggies reign below, watch out for all those spazzing on the floor, oh and watch out for huge f***ing spiders too, think (pointiing) that guy saw em.
18. GROOVE ARMADA: Praise ye lords of celestial open air head fucking lit up like the fiery eyes of Allah with bass that puts almighty cream cheese to shame and bongos that make your feet beat when your gone like Pete Tong. ...to pretty much sum it up.
19. JEDIS: OMG! everywhere!
20. "DONT SPLIT UP , NO BATTERY!": we split up three more times after that. I even went on a journey when it happened once, but bringing back gifts. Damn really could o done with that rope.
21. MAGIC BEANS: My gift, i found magic beans, of the small nature but that make you big and strong and energetic, hehehe and not drugs! Take some of these friend......
22. SHROOMS: comversely these were drugs and once again i must remind myself do not ever ingest without appropriate liquid sources from a reputable and humungous source of which there is plenty. though any damn drink will do. I ended up running the rest of the way to the watering hole though flying was more apparent to me.
23. WEED: Oh thank God! and what a shame the girls missed out, damn those forgetful pills hey.
24. CRAZY JAPDJ: not another funny word here, this guy was awesome, not only did he bounce up and down but his tracks, drops, and his fusions were so good.
25. VISUALS AND LASERS: can cause temporary congestion of raving. beware hypnotism once again. Soooo inviting....
26. REWARD FOR MISSING VOICE: It is soo hard to have a conversation when your best mate has the attention span of a fly on speed in a barn full of ether covered manure! Coulda used the rope again to tie his head down.
27. WINCHESTER TOWN CENTRE THE GROUND OF ALL EVIL: damn this place and its lack of noticable roads and abundance of unnoticable pathways. Never thought we'd escape!!
28. THE MYSTERY OF THE MOTORWAY BOYS: If anyone finds any body's onthe M3 i can identify. One of lifes mysteries: an 80 mile stretch of motorway and bang slap in the middle near no signs of existance sat two boys by a bridge just walking - absolutely nowhere. how they get there, still rremains a mystery. Yeah someone might wanna check that.