It's a day
Wow, this hasn't been the best few weeks. Not the worst either.
*Meh-The horse show Sunday before last was okay. We had changed the warmup, and he was quite cracky at first. So, he had energy through all three tests, but was not listening. And, unusually, our best score was the last test. Also, still having trouble with bending.
*Bad-Had no lesson last Tuesday, so I did the last three rides on my own. Went back to walk, then trot, and walk/canter tonight. So frustrated.
*Good-I learned to tell the difference between Tess' canter and a buck.
*Bad-Tess bucked. lol
*Good-because of that, I think I've figured out how to ride her canter. But dang it takes a lot of work.
*Good-there was someone at the show taking pictures of everyone.
*Bad-the crack was there in color. But the later pictures looked fairly okay. I think.
*Really bad-looking at myself in those pictures somehow really tanked my self esteem (I hate that word). I feel like I looked fat, ugly, old, horrible, and even in one picture, hollow faced.
*Good/Bad-I generally don't really care about what I 'look like', although I like to think that I'm pretty. I know I'm solidly built, but I don't usually picture what that means. When I look at myself in a mirror, I look at good angles. :) I know being healthy is the important thing, but with all the crap, and working my body to be able to ride well (as I can), it can be frustrating and sad that it's not obvious (except the limping and walking funny when my butt hurts, and etc. lol).
So yeah, big crisis tonight after riding. I was upset and frustrated, trying to figure out what to do next time, what I had done that wasn't correct, who was an asshole when, and so it just all hit me.
*Good-I have a lesson tomorrow. Hopefully I can articulate what the problems are, and she can help.
*Good-I talked with my big trainer a few weeks ago, and he gave me some guidance, which has worked. He's listening to my left leg more, and I'm doing better at making sure my cues are either sudden (once and very clear) or suggestive (wiggling the reins).
*Good-we had our local con this weekend, and even though we had clinic, we got done early so I could go on Saturday afternoon. Got a very soft, bendable, evil flower (from some video game). And a free comic featuring super-heroines for children to give to my nurse for her daughter. :D
*Meh-and I'm still waiting for the stupid ass construction company to get with me about starting work on the hail damage. I'll probably call again in a few days. If they're still dragging their feet, I'll start looking for someone else.
*Meh-The horse show Sunday before last was okay. We had changed the warmup, and he was quite cracky at first. So, he had energy through all three tests, but was not listening. And, unusually, our best score was the last test. Also, still having trouble with bending.
*Bad-Had no lesson last Tuesday, so I did the last three rides on my own. Went back to walk, then trot, and walk/canter tonight. So frustrated.
*Good-I learned to tell the difference between Tess' canter and a buck.
*Bad-Tess bucked. lol
*Good-because of that, I think I've figured out how to ride her canter. But dang it takes a lot of work.
*Good-there was someone at the show taking pictures of everyone.
*Bad-the crack was there in color. But the later pictures looked fairly okay. I think.
*Really bad-looking at myself in those pictures somehow really tanked my self esteem (I hate that word). I feel like I looked fat, ugly, old, horrible, and even in one picture, hollow faced.
*Good/Bad-I generally don't really care about what I 'look like', although I like to think that I'm pretty. I know I'm solidly built, but I don't usually picture what that means. When I look at myself in a mirror, I look at good angles. :) I know being healthy is the important thing, but with all the crap, and working my body to be able to ride well (as I can), it can be frustrating and sad that it's not obvious (except the limping and walking funny when my butt hurts, and etc. lol).
So yeah, big crisis tonight after riding. I was upset and frustrated, trying to figure out what to do next time, what I had done that wasn't correct, who was an asshole when, and so it just all hit me.
*Good-I have a lesson tomorrow. Hopefully I can articulate what the problems are, and she can help.
*Good-I talked with my big trainer a few weeks ago, and he gave me some guidance, which has worked. He's listening to my left leg more, and I'm doing better at making sure my cues are either sudden (once and very clear) or suggestive (wiggling the reins).
*Good-we had our local con this weekend, and even though we had clinic, we got done early so I could go on Saturday afternoon. Got a very soft, bendable, evil flower (from some video game). And a free comic featuring super-heroines for children to give to my nurse for her daughter. :D
*Meh-and I'm still waiting for the stupid ass construction company to get with me about starting work on the hail damage. I'll probably call again in a few days. If they're still dragging their feet, I'll start looking for someone else.