Smallville/Charmed: In Memory 2/3
Title: In Memory
Fandom: Smallville/Charmed AU
Prompt: Table 1: Author's choice - Remember
Characters: Lena (OFC), Clark Kent, Martha Kent, Lana Lang, Lex Luthor, Dr. Garner, Lionel Luthor, Jonathan Kent, mentions of Phoebe Halliwell
Pairings: None
Rating: PG
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Angst
Summary: AU rewrite of Smallville season three episode "Memoria." Lena was abandoned in Metropolis at the age of five with no memory of where she came from. Now sixteen, Lex Luthor introduces her to an experimental treatment that just might help her to remember who she really is. But when Clark becomes involved Lena must reevaluate what's most important to her.
Previously: Part I
Part II:
In Memory
Part II
Lena had barely even thrown the truck into park just outside the main doors of the Sommerholt Institute before throwing herself out, door hanging wide open, and racing inside. Lex and his father were standing just inside the door, but she paid them no heed as she barreled past them.
“Lena?” Lex called after her. She knew Lionel was watching her too, but none of that mattered now.
She stumbled in the hall, put a hand out to the wall to steady herself, Clark’s screams not just in her head now, but audible just outside the lab.
“Lara! Lara!” Lena had no idea who Lara was, but she knew Clark needed help, and right now Lena was the only one who could help him. She felt Clark’s pain building up, it was blinding, and it knocked the wind out of her, pushed her to her knees.
“Clark!” she shouted, somehow needing him to know she was close, so close. She forced herself to her feet, and reached for the door to the lab just as an explosion rocketed through the area. Lena was thrown back, head striking the wall. She blacked out briefly, and when she came to found the wall before her completely blown out, debris covering her and the hallway. She stood shakily, her mind reaching out shakily for Clark, terrified of what she might find. But he was alive, unconscious, but still alive.
Lena wasted no more time, sprinting into the lab, passing Dr. Garner’s limp form on the stairs and running through the debris and exposed wires to get to the memory well. “Clark!” He was fully submerged in the kryptonite, eyes closed, body limp. A spike of rage erupted in Lena’s chest and she screamed, grabbing a piece of debris and using it to smash the side of the tank. The lurid green liquid splashed out, soaking her. “Clark!” she called, reaching in to touch him. His head turned slightly as her fingers brushed his cheek, leaning in to her touch, seeking comfort from it. Lena crawled almost entirely into the tank with him, trying to pull him out. But she couldn’t brace herself on the slippery floor and Clark was just too heavy. She hissed in frustration, wrapping her hands around Clark’s arms. She closed her eyes, connecting with him, drawing his pain out of him and into her, trying to shield him from his body’s reaction to kryptonite. She felt him relax under her hands even as her own body stiffened.
“Lena?!” Lex’s voice sounded in the doorway. Startled, she broke the connection with Clark, reminded herself that she needed to get him out of there.
“Lex! Help me!” Lena shouted. Lex was at her side in minutes, a horrified expression on his face.
“What happened?” he asked her. She only glared at him at response. He turned from her, instead focusing on Clark. He helped her to ease Clark out of the tank just as the sprinklers were set off. Lex pulled Clark’s arm over his shoulder, Lena on Clark’s other side, and the two ran for it, Clark’s weight slowing them down, as sparks erupted around them. They tumbled in the hallway, hitting the floor as more shocks went off in the room behind them.
“Clark,” Lena said, sitting up and pulling Clark to her. He was limp, barely responsive, but his eyes flickered and he stared up at her. “Help me.” She nodded, eyes filling with tears. Lex bent beside Clark, helped Lena hoist him into a standing position again.
“We should call an ambulance,” Lex said.
“No, just help me get him out to the truck.”
“Lena that’s crazy. He’s clearly hurt, let’s go to the hospital.”
“I can take care of Clark!” Lena barked. “Just help me get him out of here!”
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Lena left Lex in the parking lot, driving away from the highway, back in to Metropolis. Clark was wrapped up in emergency blankets, and lying across the front seat, his head supported by her legs. She felt the tremors wracking through his body, knew that he would never survive the trip back to Smallville. She pulled off the road and into the lot of a modest hotel, parking as close to the main door as possible. “Come on, Clark,” she said gently, running her fingers through his hair and attempting to rouse him. He mumbled something incoherent and trembled. “Clark, please,” Lena said, shaking him.
“Lena…” Clark muttered, opening his eyes and staring up at her. His face was tight with pain, and his eyes were struggling to remain open.
“We’re going to get you cleaned up, bro, but you gotta help me get you inside, okay?” He steeled himself at her words, never one to be able to say no to someone asking for help. She assisted him out of the truck, and together they hobbled into the hotel lobby.
Lena caught the attention of the dumbfounded employee, who just stared at the two, a teenage girl, soaked to the bone, trying to hold up a much-larger man who was barefoot and wrapped in blankets. Lena concentrated her powers, and then issued a request overlaid with a telepathic command that he could not deny.
“Get us a room key, now.” The man nodded, eyes clouded over as he did exactly as she asked. He handed her a key and then stood just in front of her, like a dog waiting for a treat. “You never saw us.” He nodded again, and walked back to the desk.
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“Okay, Clark, here we go,” Lena murmured as they walked into the bathroom. Clark’s tenuous energy was quickly waning, his weight falling heavier on her with each step. She sat him down on the edge of the bathtub and walked over to the stall shower, turning the hot water on full blast. She spotted a stool in the corner of the room and put it in the shower stall. “You’ll feel better once we get all of that kryptonite off of you,” she said as she helped him stand again and manhandled him into the shower.
Clark revived quickly as the water pounded the kryptonite out of his hair and off of his skin. “You should probably get your shorts off too,” Lena said, suddenly feeling awkward as she stepped towards him.
“I can do it,” Clark protested quickly. “Just uh… just turn around, okay?” Lena turned away from him, facing the door. She was suddenly aware of the kryptonite soaked into her own clothes, in her hair, through her shoes. Clark wouldn’t feel better until she was away from him too.
“Are you doing okay?” Lena asked.
“Feeling a lot better, yeah,” Clark replied, his voice still weak.
“Okay, I’m uh… I’m gonna run out real quick, get us some clean clothes. You just… just finish rinsing off and there’s a robe on the towel bar. Take it easy, don’t try anything strenuous while I’m gone, alright?”
“Yeah,” Clark answered. “Just uh… be quick?” The vulnerability in his voice caught her, and she felt her eyes welling up with tears she had been holding back since she felt his pain on her way back home.
“I will.”
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When Lena returned, Clark was sitting on the couch in the robe, waiting for her. She kept a healthy distance from him, laid down the bag with his clothes in it on the floor and then rushed into the bathroom to clean up and change.
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Lena showered quickly, a string of negative thoughts pouring through her mind. She was stupid, how could she have done what she did? How could she had knowingly undergone such a dangerous, such a stupid procedure? Of course Clark would find out, of course he would show up at some point. She nearly got her brother killed. Stupid, stupid, stupid! All she thought about was herself, how could she be so selfish? Tears ran down her face, and she let the hot water pound them away, reminded herself that Clark was outside the door, that he was still weak, still needed her. She could wallow later.
Lena hadn’t really been thinking when she went out to get clothes. She stopped at the first cheap store she found and just ran through, grabbing the first things that caught her eye. She managed to pick up a pack of boxers for her brother, and a pair of sweatpants she wasn’t quite sure would be long enough for him, along with T-shirt. For herself, she just grabbed some calf-length pajama pants and a sweatshirt. She sighed as she dressed, pulling her wet hair into a loose ponytail. She used a spare towel to wrap up hers and Clark’s kryptonite-soaked clothing and walked determinedly up to the window, pushing it open and throwing the clothes out and into the alley below.
Ridding the room of the reminders of the terrible day felt cathartic, and gave Lena the strength to walk back into the room. Clark was wearing the sweatpants, the legs pushed to his knees, and he looked better than before, but still exhausted and drawn out. She knew that the heavy exposure of kryptonite had to have taken a real toll on his body. “Lena,” he said, catching her eye. “I uh…”
Lena cut off whatever he was about to say. “You need to get some rest, come on, let’s get you to bed.” She positioned herself under his arm, even as he insisted that he could manage the walk by himself. There was only one bed in the room, and Lena gladly gave it to Clark. She would sleep on a bed of gravel tonight if it meant him recovering. She tucked him into bed, her fingers lingering over his forehead as she pushed his hair out of his eyes. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“Hey, don’t apologize,” he said, catching her wrist as she tried to draw away from him.
“Get some sleep, Clark. We can talk in the morning.” She made to walk away again and he pulled her back with surprising strength.
“Stay with me,” he requested. “Please?” he added. She didn’t know if he wanted her to stay for his comfort or for her own, but she climbed into the bed regardless. Sitting up against the headboard, she drew him close to her, her arms wrapped around him. She could feel the tremors working their way through his body, and she rubbed her hand down his arm comfortingly, feeling his muscles relax against her touch. He closed his eyes, snuggled up against her. “Reminds me of when we were kids,” he whispered, voice sleepy sounding. “Back when we were always together… remember…”
“Yeah, I remember,” Lena responded, thinking back to when she first moved to the farm, and Clark would wrap his arms around her and comfort her whenever she just needed someone to be there. They were odd children, she knew that. Their backgrounds made them that way, always worried in the back of their minds that they would be abandoned again, given away. For her first year on the farm Lena was certain that if she did anything wrong the Kent’s would send her back to Metropolis. No matter how kind and loving they were, she worried about it constantly. But there was always Clark to reassure her that they would always be together, that no matter what, he loved her. Their bond had been so strong, but adolescence and the discoveries of Clark’s origins had put a strain on them, they started keeping secrets from each other, and they rarely connected like they used to anymore. She hadn’t even realized how much she missed this, missed him, until today.
“Love you, Len-Len,” he murmured into her hair, using her childhood nickname.
“Love you too, Clarky,” she replied, tears in her eyes again.
Clark fell asleep shortly after that. She shifted her position on the bed, to make sure he was comfortable, continuing to rub his arm long after his breathing had slowed and evened out. She remained that way for hours, until she finally gave in to the lulling rhythm of Clark’s breathing and his heartbeat, and fell asleep herself.
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The incessant ringing of her cell phone woke Lena. She glanced at the clock 2:11a.m. and shot up out of bed. Clark grumbled as he was tossed aside but curled back in on the pillow and quieted. Lena ran to the door where she had dropped her purse when she came in, and pulled out the phone.
“Hello?” she whispered.
“Lena! Finally!” Martha said from the other end. “I’ve been calling you for hours! Where are you?!” Martha sounded panicked, and as well she should be, Lena and Clark both missing.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I’m uh… I’m still in Metropolis. But I’m okay, I promise.”
“What are you doing there? And do you know where Clark is? He hasn’t picked up at all.”
“Clark’s with me,” Lena answered. “We uh… we ran into some trouble and uh… we’re just spending the night in Metropolis, but we’ll be home first thing in the morning, I promise.”
“Lena what is going on?”
“I… I can’t tell you now, okay?” Lena responded, beginning to cry. “I just… I’ll tell you when we get home.”
“Lena… honey… please tell me what’s happened.”
“Not now, Mom, please.”
“Then at least put Clark on the phone,” Martha said softly.
“He’s asleep, I don’t want to wake him. I’ll see you back at home,” she said before ending the call. She put the phone in silent ringer mode. A quick glance at the bed assured her that Clark was sleeping soundly, leaving her alone for the first time since all of this began. She walked over to the window and pushed back the curtains, staring out into the city. Somewhere in the distance was the government building where she had been abandoned, where she met the Kent’s for the first time. For not the first time in her life, she wondered if maybe everyone would have been better off if the Kent’s had never received the phone call that sent them to Metropolis to meet her. Maybe it would have been best if she had just entered the foster home shuffle so many children ended up in. It seemed that by giving her a home, a family, she had just caused the Kent’s pain. She wondered about her birth mother - Phoebe - if Phoebe could see her now, would she be proud of her, or would she just be happy that she had abandoned her when she had the chance?
For not the first time in Lena’s life she wondered what sort of parents would abandon their child, leaving her with nothing except her first name. Clark’s birth parents had built him a spaceship, sent him far across the stars to save him when their planet was destroyed. They sent him away to save him, to protect him, because they loved him. What excuse did her parents have? In that memory of the car ride it seemed like they loved her, even as they drove to Metropolis to get rid of her. What was driving them? Why had they done that? Were they saving her, just like Clark’s parents had done? Or were they just overwhelmed by the task of raising a child with abilities like hers? Was she just another meteor freak and her parents couldn’t handle her? She thought that maybe she wouldn’t blame them for wanting to be rid of a child like her, her powers were dangerous after all, she knew that. Learning about them on the farm had been difficult enough, but at least they had land, and privacy, and for when she really got out of control, a bullet-proof older brother who wasn’t afraid of anything she threw at him.
Lena shook her head, wondering about these things was what caused her to go to Dr. Garner, was what started all of this trouble in the first place, put Clark in danger. What was the point anyway? Would knowing the truth change anything about her, would it change who she was, how she saw herself? Maybe. But after what happened at Sommerholt, maybes just didn’t seem as worth it anymore.
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“Lena… we have to talk,” Clark said quietly. He had been awake for some time, watching Lena cry on the couch, her head buried in her hands. He walked over to her, sat down beside her, waited for her to acknowledge him. “Lena…” he said again when the sobbing did not subside. “Hey, come on.” He pried her hands free, taking them in his own. She turned away from him, sniffling. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
“After everything I’ve done, you really have to ask that?” Lena questioned, turning to him finally. Her teal eyes were filled with tears, but she stubbornly tried to stop them from falling. She pulled her hands free from Clark’s grip and swiped angrily at her eyes.
“Well that’s what I wanted to ask about… why did you go and see Dr. Garner?”
“Lex… Lex told me that he’d been seeing him, that Dr. Garner was helping him remember things,” Lena responded, staring straight ahead, avoiding eye contact with Clark.
“But Lena… this is Dr. Garner we’re talking about. Remember what he did to Ryan? And you’re psychic too, if he found out about that… there’s no telling what lengths he would go to in order to study you,” Clark reminded her gently. His intention had been to confront her with this information, demand an explanation, but waking to find her crying had stopped him in his tracks. Lena rarely cried, and when she did she always made sure she was alone, never wanted anyone to see it.
“I know Clark, but… but Lex was so sincere and I… I just wanted so much to remember my parents.”
“But why?” Clark pressed. “I mean after everything that’s happened with Jor-El, and with what everyone’s said about your family…”
“I’m not you, Clark!” Lena shouted, standing up. “No voice from a cave wall is going to speak to me, is going to tell me who I am. I know that my family is gone, I know it! But I also know that they weren’t bad people like everyone thinks… Clark, they loved me, okay? I remember that, I’ve always remembered that!”
“What do you… why didn’t you ever say anything before? I thought you had forgotten everything!”
“I let everyone think that because… I mean how can I explain any of it, right? But I remember them, my parents, I remember them sitting with me, saying goodbye to me… and I can feel it, I can feel their love for me.” Lena walked over to the window, leaning against the wall and staring outside.
“Well Lena… that’s… that’s great, but…” Clark said, sliding down to the end of the couch closest to her.
“But then why did they leave me like that, right? I don’t know! That’s why I wanted to remember so badly! Don’t you see? You know you’re from Krypton, you know why you can do what you can do. I don’t know where I come from, I don’t know where I got my powers from. Maybe I’m just a botched experiment, or a meteor freak or something. I just wanted to know who I am… is that so hard to understand?”
“Why have you never told me this before?” Clark asked, standing and slowly walking up behind her. “I mean… I thought we were always pretty honest with each other.”
“Honest?” she asked, facing him. “C’mon Clark, would either of us know the definition of honesty even it danced in front of us in a hula skirt? Let’s face it, we learned a lot of good things at the knees of Jonathan and Martha Kent, but honesty was never one of those things.” She turned away again, head down.
“Even so… I thought we could always tell each other anything,” Clark said softly, his hand ghosting over her shoulder. Lena turned to him, angry at herself for hurting him again.
“We usually can… but… I mean most of our lives we were together in the whole ‘who am I?’ thing, but then Mom and Dad told you about you being an alien, and Jor-El started communicating with you, and suddenly it was all different. But that was turning out so badly that… that I didn’t think you would understand me wanting to know the truth. I thought you would just be afraid that it would turn out the same way you learning about yourself has.”
“Well you’re right with that. I’m terrified about you learning about your biological family. But not because of what you think… I’m just afraid that maybe they’re actually still out there somewhere, that if you find them they’ll take you away from me. I don’t want to lose you, Lena.” Lena’s anger and indignation withered at his admission. How could she possibly argue with that? She couldn’t make Clark any promises, she couldn’t say for sure that they weren’t out there, that even if they were dead, that knowing who she was might not have repercussions. Her parents did have a reason for giving her away, after all.
“How did you know to go to Sommerholt?” she finally asked.
“I found about what Lex was doing… went to see Lionel to get him to stop Lex. Lionel told me that you were doing it too so I raced down there to… I don’t know… stop you, stop Garner, do something to protect you.”
“Lionel told you? How did he even know?” Lena thought out loud. “And… Clark - Lionel was at Sommerholt when I left. I must’ve just missed you coming in, but he was there… waiting…”
“You think he set me up?” Clark questioned.
“That bastard… he used me as bait to get to you.”
“What about Lex, do you think he was involved?” Clark asked.
“No, no way. Lex was arguing with Lionel when I went back in to find you. It was time for Lex’s session, Garner must’ve either not cared, or cancelled it once he got you in there. But we know Lionel really doesn’t want Lex to remember, maybe he offered Garner a trade, to stop Lex’s sessions in order to study you instead? God, it all sounds so crazy that it’s probably exactly what happened.”
“It does sound crazy, Lionel crazy,” Clark sighed.
“Hey… I’m just… I’m really sorry that you got involved in all of this,” Lena said, cupping Clark’s face. “Are you feeling okay? I… I was so scared when I found you yesterday.”
“I’m fine,” Clark responded. “I’m just glad you got there when you did. How did you know I was there?”
“I felt it… I was driving home when Garner submerged you in the tank, and it just hit me like a punch. I felt everything you were feeling, I couldn’t think about anything except getting back there and saving you.”
“How could you have felt it from that far away? I mean your empathy doesn’t usually extend past a doorway.”
“Except for when it comes to you. I admit it’s sometimes far and few between, but when you’re really, seriously, in trouble, I always know. I guess it’s part of that bond we made when we were kids.”
“Wow,” Clark said. “Just… I mean… that must say something for us, right? Even though we’re not blood-related, we must at least be a little close,” Clark stuttered. Lena found what he was really trying to say in all of that and moved quickly to reassure him.
“Clark, no matter what, you’ll always be my brother, I can promise you that. Nothing and nobody could ever take that away from us.”
“Good,” Clark smiled, pulling her close, wrapping his arms around her. She responded in kind, sinking in to the reassurance of his embrace, feeling his heart pound against her chest, strong and alive. When she drew away, Clark caught her gaze and said, “Thanks for everything you did yesterday. I don’t know how you managed to get me out of there, to keep your head enough to get us here and everything. You must’ve been pretty freaked out.”
“Yeah I was… but I knew I had to help you, had to do whatever it took to save you. After all it was my fault that you got hurt in the first place.”
“Hey, no one told me to go rushing in like some action hero. I couldn’t just waited till you got home and talked it over rationally.”
“Yeah well when have you ever waited around when you thought someone you loved was in trouble? I just don’t know how I’m going to explain this to Mom and to… oh God, to Dad… he’ll be so upset with me,” she said, eyes welling up again.
“We don’t have to tell them.”
“Like hell we don’t,” Lena said. “Forget it, I’ll come clean with both of them. If we keep this a secret then we’ll both be in trouble. This is my mess, it’s my responsibility to clean it up.”
“Yeah well you still look pretty tired. We’re already late getting home, might as well face the music after a couple more hours of sleep,” Clark suggested.
Lena nodded, and made to follow him to the bed, but stopped short. “Clark?” she asked tentatively. He turned to her, eyes sunken in, exhausted looking. She wondered if she should really be asking this now, but couldn’t seem to stop herself. “When you were in the tank… did you remember anything?” Clark looked away, silent. “Sorry, stupid question. I mean you were in-”
“My mother,” Clark said quietly. Lena stopped short, staring at him. “I remembered my birth mother. Her name was Lara…”
“Oh Clark…” Lena whispered.
“She wasn’t like Jor-El… she was nice, she worried that no one here would love me.” He paused. “I think she would be pretty happy if she saw how my family turned out.”
Fandom: Smallville/Charmed AU
Prompt: Table 1: Author's choice - Remember
Characters: Lena (OFC), Clark Kent, Martha Kent, Lana Lang, Lex Luthor, Dr. Garner, Lionel Luthor, Jonathan Kent, mentions of Phoebe Halliwell
Pairings: None
Rating: PG
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Angst
Summary: AU rewrite of Smallville season three episode "Memoria." Lena was abandoned in Metropolis at the age of five with no memory of where she came from. Now sixteen, Lex Luthor introduces her to an experimental treatment that just might help her to remember who she really is. But when Clark becomes involved Lena must reevaluate what's most important to her.
Previously: Part I
Part II:
In Memory
Part II
Lena had barely even thrown the truck into park just outside the main doors of the Sommerholt Institute before throwing herself out, door hanging wide open, and racing inside. Lex and his father were standing just inside the door, but she paid them no heed as she barreled past them.
“Lena?” Lex called after her. She knew Lionel was watching her too, but none of that mattered now.
She stumbled in the hall, put a hand out to the wall to steady herself, Clark’s screams not just in her head now, but audible just outside the lab.
“Lara! Lara!” Lena had no idea who Lara was, but she knew Clark needed help, and right now Lena was the only one who could help him. She felt Clark’s pain building up, it was blinding, and it knocked the wind out of her, pushed her to her knees.
“Clark!” she shouted, somehow needing him to know she was close, so close. She forced herself to her feet, and reached for the door to the lab just as an explosion rocketed through the area. Lena was thrown back, head striking the wall. She blacked out briefly, and when she came to found the wall before her completely blown out, debris covering her and the hallway. She stood shakily, her mind reaching out shakily for Clark, terrified of what she might find. But he was alive, unconscious, but still alive.
Lena wasted no more time, sprinting into the lab, passing Dr. Garner’s limp form on the stairs and running through the debris and exposed wires to get to the memory well. “Clark!” He was fully submerged in the kryptonite, eyes closed, body limp. A spike of rage erupted in Lena’s chest and she screamed, grabbing a piece of debris and using it to smash the side of the tank. The lurid green liquid splashed out, soaking her. “Clark!” she called, reaching in to touch him. His head turned slightly as her fingers brushed his cheek, leaning in to her touch, seeking comfort from it. Lena crawled almost entirely into the tank with him, trying to pull him out. But she couldn’t brace herself on the slippery floor and Clark was just too heavy. She hissed in frustration, wrapping her hands around Clark’s arms. She closed her eyes, connecting with him, drawing his pain out of him and into her, trying to shield him from his body’s reaction to kryptonite. She felt him relax under her hands even as her own body stiffened.
“Lena?!” Lex’s voice sounded in the doorway. Startled, she broke the connection with Clark, reminded herself that she needed to get him out of there.
“Lex! Help me!” Lena shouted. Lex was at her side in minutes, a horrified expression on his face.
“What happened?” he asked her. She only glared at him at response. He turned from her, instead focusing on Clark. He helped her to ease Clark out of the tank just as the sprinklers were set off. Lex pulled Clark’s arm over his shoulder, Lena on Clark’s other side, and the two ran for it, Clark’s weight slowing them down, as sparks erupted around them. They tumbled in the hallway, hitting the floor as more shocks went off in the room behind them.
“Clark,” Lena said, sitting up and pulling Clark to her. He was limp, barely responsive, but his eyes flickered and he stared up at her. “Help me.” She nodded, eyes filling with tears. Lex bent beside Clark, helped Lena hoist him into a standing position again.
“We should call an ambulance,” Lex said.
“No, just help me get him out to the truck.”
“Lena that’s crazy. He’s clearly hurt, let’s go to the hospital.”
“I can take care of Clark!” Lena barked. “Just help me get him out of here!”
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Lena left Lex in the parking lot, driving away from the highway, back in to Metropolis. Clark was wrapped up in emergency blankets, and lying across the front seat, his head supported by her legs. She felt the tremors wracking through his body, knew that he would never survive the trip back to Smallville. She pulled off the road and into the lot of a modest hotel, parking as close to the main door as possible. “Come on, Clark,” she said gently, running her fingers through his hair and attempting to rouse him. He mumbled something incoherent and trembled. “Clark, please,” Lena said, shaking him.
“Lena…” Clark muttered, opening his eyes and staring up at her. His face was tight with pain, and his eyes were struggling to remain open.
“We’re going to get you cleaned up, bro, but you gotta help me get you inside, okay?” He steeled himself at her words, never one to be able to say no to someone asking for help. She assisted him out of the truck, and together they hobbled into the hotel lobby.
Lena caught the attention of the dumbfounded employee, who just stared at the two, a teenage girl, soaked to the bone, trying to hold up a much-larger man who was barefoot and wrapped in blankets. Lena concentrated her powers, and then issued a request overlaid with a telepathic command that he could not deny.
“Get us a room key, now.” The man nodded, eyes clouded over as he did exactly as she asked. He handed her a key and then stood just in front of her, like a dog waiting for a treat. “You never saw us.” He nodded again, and walked back to the desk.
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“Okay, Clark, here we go,” Lena murmured as they walked into the bathroom. Clark’s tenuous energy was quickly waning, his weight falling heavier on her with each step. She sat him down on the edge of the bathtub and walked over to the stall shower, turning the hot water on full blast. She spotted a stool in the corner of the room and put it in the shower stall. “You’ll feel better once we get all of that kryptonite off of you,” she said as she helped him stand again and manhandled him into the shower.
Clark revived quickly as the water pounded the kryptonite out of his hair and off of his skin. “You should probably get your shorts off too,” Lena said, suddenly feeling awkward as she stepped towards him.
“I can do it,” Clark protested quickly. “Just uh… just turn around, okay?” Lena turned away from him, facing the door. She was suddenly aware of the kryptonite soaked into her own clothes, in her hair, through her shoes. Clark wouldn’t feel better until she was away from him too.
“Are you doing okay?” Lena asked.
“Feeling a lot better, yeah,” Clark replied, his voice still weak.
“Okay, I’m uh… I’m gonna run out real quick, get us some clean clothes. You just… just finish rinsing off and there’s a robe on the towel bar. Take it easy, don’t try anything strenuous while I’m gone, alright?”
“Yeah,” Clark answered. “Just uh… be quick?” The vulnerability in his voice caught her, and she felt her eyes welling up with tears she had been holding back since she felt his pain on her way back home.
“I will.”
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When Lena returned, Clark was sitting on the couch in the robe, waiting for her. She kept a healthy distance from him, laid down the bag with his clothes in it on the floor and then rushed into the bathroom to clean up and change.
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Lena showered quickly, a string of negative thoughts pouring through her mind. She was stupid, how could she have done what she did? How could she had knowingly undergone such a dangerous, such a stupid procedure? Of course Clark would find out, of course he would show up at some point. She nearly got her brother killed. Stupid, stupid, stupid! All she thought about was herself, how could she be so selfish? Tears ran down her face, and she let the hot water pound them away, reminded herself that Clark was outside the door, that he was still weak, still needed her. She could wallow later.
Lena hadn’t really been thinking when she went out to get clothes. She stopped at the first cheap store she found and just ran through, grabbing the first things that caught her eye. She managed to pick up a pack of boxers for her brother, and a pair of sweatpants she wasn’t quite sure would be long enough for him, along with T-shirt. For herself, she just grabbed some calf-length pajama pants and a sweatshirt. She sighed as she dressed, pulling her wet hair into a loose ponytail. She used a spare towel to wrap up hers and Clark’s kryptonite-soaked clothing and walked determinedly up to the window, pushing it open and throwing the clothes out and into the alley below.
Ridding the room of the reminders of the terrible day felt cathartic, and gave Lena the strength to walk back into the room. Clark was wearing the sweatpants, the legs pushed to his knees, and he looked better than before, but still exhausted and drawn out. She knew that the heavy exposure of kryptonite had to have taken a real toll on his body. “Lena,” he said, catching her eye. “I uh…”
Lena cut off whatever he was about to say. “You need to get some rest, come on, let’s get you to bed.” She positioned herself under his arm, even as he insisted that he could manage the walk by himself. There was only one bed in the room, and Lena gladly gave it to Clark. She would sleep on a bed of gravel tonight if it meant him recovering. She tucked him into bed, her fingers lingering over his forehead as she pushed his hair out of his eyes. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“Hey, don’t apologize,” he said, catching her wrist as she tried to draw away from him.
“Get some sleep, Clark. We can talk in the morning.” She made to walk away again and he pulled her back with surprising strength.
“Stay with me,” he requested. “Please?” he added. She didn’t know if he wanted her to stay for his comfort or for her own, but she climbed into the bed regardless. Sitting up against the headboard, she drew him close to her, her arms wrapped around him. She could feel the tremors working their way through his body, and she rubbed her hand down his arm comfortingly, feeling his muscles relax against her touch. He closed his eyes, snuggled up against her. “Reminds me of when we were kids,” he whispered, voice sleepy sounding. “Back when we were always together… remember…”
“Yeah, I remember,” Lena responded, thinking back to when she first moved to the farm, and Clark would wrap his arms around her and comfort her whenever she just needed someone to be there. They were odd children, she knew that. Their backgrounds made them that way, always worried in the back of their minds that they would be abandoned again, given away. For her first year on the farm Lena was certain that if she did anything wrong the Kent’s would send her back to Metropolis. No matter how kind and loving they were, she worried about it constantly. But there was always Clark to reassure her that they would always be together, that no matter what, he loved her. Their bond had been so strong, but adolescence and the discoveries of Clark’s origins had put a strain on them, they started keeping secrets from each other, and they rarely connected like they used to anymore. She hadn’t even realized how much she missed this, missed him, until today.
“Love you, Len-Len,” he murmured into her hair, using her childhood nickname.
“Love you too, Clarky,” she replied, tears in her eyes again.
Clark fell asleep shortly after that. She shifted her position on the bed, to make sure he was comfortable, continuing to rub his arm long after his breathing had slowed and evened out. She remained that way for hours, until she finally gave in to the lulling rhythm of Clark’s breathing and his heartbeat, and fell asleep herself.
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The incessant ringing of her cell phone woke Lena. She glanced at the clock 2:11a.m. and shot up out of bed. Clark grumbled as he was tossed aside but curled back in on the pillow and quieted. Lena ran to the door where she had dropped her purse when she came in, and pulled out the phone.
“Hello?” she whispered.
“Lena! Finally!” Martha said from the other end. “I’ve been calling you for hours! Where are you?!” Martha sounded panicked, and as well she should be, Lena and Clark both missing.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I’m uh… I’m still in Metropolis. But I’m okay, I promise.”
“What are you doing there? And do you know where Clark is? He hasn’t picked up at all.”
“Clark’s with me,” Lena answered. “We uh… we ran into some trouble and uh… we’re just spending the night in Metropolis, but we’ll be home first thing in the morning, I promise.”
“Lena what is going on?”
“I… I can’t tell you now, okay?” Lena responded, beginning to cry. “I just… I’ll tell you when we get home.”
“Lena… honey… please tell me what’s happened.”
“Not now, Mom, please.”
“Then at least put Clark on the phone,” Martha said softly.
“He’s asleep, I don’t want to wake him. I’ll see you back at home,” she said before ending the call. She put the phone in silent ringer mode. A quick glance at the bed assured her that Clark was sleeping soundly, leaving her alone for the first time since all of this began. She walked over to the window and pushed back the curtains, staring out into the city. Somewhere in the distance was the government building where she had been abandoned, where she met the Kent’s for the first time. For not the first time in her life, she wondered if maybe everyone would have been better off if the Kent’s had never received the phone call that sent them to Metropolis to meet her. Maybe it would have been best if she had just entered the foster home shuffle so many children ended up in. It seemed that by giving her a home, a family, she had just caused the Kent’s pain. She wondered about her birth mother - Phoebe - if Phoebe could see her now, would she be proud of her, or would she just be happy that she had abandoned her when she had the chance?
For not the first time in Lena’s life she wondered what sort of parents would abandon their child, leaving her with nothing except her first name. Clark’s birth parents had built him a spaceship, sent him far across the stars to save him when their planet was destroyed. They sent him away to save him, to protect him, because they loved him. What excuse did her parents have? In that memory of the car ride it seemed like they loved her, even as they drove to Metropolis to get rid of her. What was driving them? Why had they done that? Were they saving her, just like Clark’s parents had done? Or were they just overwhelmed by the task of raising a child with abilities like hers? Was she just another meteor freak and her parents couldn’t handle her? She thought that maybe she wouldn’t blame them for wanting to be rid of a child like her, her powers were dangerous after all, she knew that. Learning about them on the farm had been difficult enough, but at least they had land, and privacy, and for when she really got out of control, a bullet-proof older brother who wasn’t afraid of anything she threw at him.
Lena shook her head, wondering about these things was what caused her to go to Dr. Garner, was what started all of this trouble in the first place, put Clark in danger. What was the point anyway? Would knowing the truth change anything about her, would it change who she was, how she saw herself? Maybe. But after what happened at Sommerholt, maybes just didn’t seem as worth it anymore.
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“Lena… we have to talk,” Clark said quietly. He had been awake for some time, watching Lena cry on the couch, her head buried in her hands. He walked over to her, sat down beside her, waited for her to acknowledge him. “Lena…” he said again when the sobbing did not subside. “Hey, come on.” He pried her hands free, taking them in his own. She turned away from him, sniffling. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
“After everything I’ve done, you really have to ask that?” Lena questioned, turning to him finally. Her teal eyes were filled with tears, but she stubbornly tried to stop them from falling. She pulled her hands free from Clark’s grip and swiped angrily at her eyes.
“Well that’s what I wanted to ask about… why did you go and see Dr. Garner?”
“Lex… Lex told me that he’d been seeing him, that Dr. Garner was helping him remember things,” Lena responded, staring straight ahead, avoiding eye contact with Clark.
“But Lena… this is Dr. Garner we’re talking about. Remember what he did to Ryan? And you’re psychic too, if he found out about that… there’s no telling what lengths he would go to in order to study you,” Clark reminded her gently. His intention had been to confront her with this information, demand an explanation, but waking to find her crying had stopped him in his tracks. Lena rarely cried, and when she did she always made sure she was alone, never wanted anyone to see it.
“I know Clark, but… but Lex was so sincere and I… I just wanted so much to remember my parents.”
“But why?” Clark pressed. “I mean after everything that’s happened with Jor-El, and with what everyone’s said about your family…”
“I’m not you, Clark!” Lena shouted, standing up. “No voice from a cave wall is going to speak to me, is going to tell me who I am. I know that my family is gone, I know it! But I also know that they weren’t bad people like everyone thinks… Clark, they loved me, okay? I remember that, I’ve always remembered that!”
“What do you… why didn’t you ever say anything before? I thought you had forgotten everything!”
“I let everyone think that because… I mean how can I explain any of it, right? But I remember them, my parents, I remember them sitting with me, saying goodbye to me… and I can feel it, I can feel their love for me.” Lena walked over to the window, leaning against the wall and staring outside.
“Well Lena… that’s… that’s great, but…” Clark said, sliding down to the end of the couch closest to her.
“But then why did they leave me like that, right? I don’t know! That’s why I wanted to remember so badly! Don’t you see? You know you’re from Krypton, you know why you can do what you can do. I don’t know where I come from, I don’t know where I got my powers from. Maybe I’m just a botched experiment, or a meteor freak or something. I just wanted to know who I am… is that so hard to understand?”
“Why have you never told me this before?” Clark asked, standing and slowly walking up behind her. “I mean… I thought we were always pretty honest with each other.”
“Honest?” she asked, facing him. “C’mon Clark, would either of us know the definition of honesty even it danced in front of us in a hula skirt? Let’s face it, we learned a lot of good things at the knees of Jonathan and Martha Kent, but honesty was never one of those things.” She turned away again, head down.
“Even so… I thought we could always tell each other anything,” Clark said softly, his hand ghosting over her shoulder. Lena turned to him, angry at herself for hurting him again.
“We usually can… but… I mean most of our lives we were together in the whole ‘who am I?’ thing, but then Mom and Dad told you about you being an alien, and Jor-El started communicating with you, and suddenly it was all different. But that was turning out so badly that… that I didn’t think you would understand me wanting to know the truth. I thought you would just be afraid that it would turn out the same way you learning about yourself has.”
“Well you’re right with that. I’m terrified about you learning about your biological family. But not because of what you think… I’m just afraid that maybe they’re actually still out there somewhere, that if you find them they’ll take you away from me. I don’t want to lose you, Lena.” Lena’s anger and indignation withered at his admission. How could she possibly argue with that? She couldn’t make Clark any promises, she couldn’t say for sure that they weren’t out there, that even if they were dead, that knowing who she was might not have repercussions. Her parents did have a reason for giving her away, after all.
“How did you know to go to Sommerholt?” she finally asked.
“I found about what Lex was doing… went to see Lionel to get him to stop Lex. Lionel told me that you were doing it too so I raced down there to… I don’t know… stop you, stop Garner, do something to protect you.”
“Lionel told you? How did he even know?” Lena thought out loud. “And… Clark - Lionel was at Sommerholt when I left. I must’ve just missed you coming in, but he was there… waiting…”
“You think he set me up?” Clark questioned.
“That bastard… he used me as bait to get to you.”
“What about Lex, do you think he was involved?” Clark asked.
“No, no way. Lex was arguing with Lionel when I went back in to find you. It was time for Lex’s session, Garner must’ve either not cared, or cancelled it once he got you in there. But we know Lionel really doesn’t want Lex to remember, maybe he offered Garner a trade, to stop Lex’s sessions in order to study you instead? God, it all sounds so crazy that it’s probably exactly what happened.”
“It does sound crazy, Lionel crazy,” Clark sighed.
“Hey… I’m just… I’m really sorry that you got involved in all of this,” Lena said, cupping Clark’s face. “Are you feeling okay? I… I was so scared when I found you yesterday.”
“I’m fine,” Clark responded. “I’m just glad you got there when you did. How did you know I was there?”
“I felt it… I was driving home when Garner submerged you in the tank, and it just hit me like a punch. I felt everything you were feeling, I couldn’t think about anything except getting back there and saving you.”
“How could you have felt it from that far away? I mean your empathy doesn’t usually extend past a doorway.”
“Except for when it comes to you. I admit it’s sometimes far and few between, but when you’re really, seriously, in trouble, I always know. I guess it’s part of that bond we made when we were kids.”
“Wow,” Clark said. “Just… I mean… that must say something for us, right? Even though we’re not blood-related, we must at least be a little close,” Clark stuttered. Lena found what he was really trying to say in all of that and moved quickly to reassure him.
“Clark, no matter what, you’ll always be my brother, I can promise you that. Nothing and nobody could ever take that away from us.”
“Good,” Clark smiled, pulling her close, wrapping his arms around her. She responded in kind, sinking in to the reassurance of his embrace, feeling his heart pound against her chest, strong and alive. When she drew away, Clark caught her gaze and said, “Thanks for everything you did yesterday. I don’t know how you managed to get me out of there, to keep your head enough to get us here and everything. You must’ve been pretty freaked out.”
“Yeah I was… but I knew I had to help you, had to do whatever it took to save you. After all it was my fault that you got hurt in the first place.”
“Hey, no one told me to go rushing in like some action hero. I couldn’t just waited till you got home and talked it over rationally.”
“Yeah well when have you ever waited around when you thought someone you loved was in trouble? I just don’t know how I’m going to explain this to Mom and to… oh God, to Dad… he’ll be so upset with me,” she said, eyes welling up again.
“We don’t have to tell them.”
“Like hell we don’t,” Lena said. “Forget it, I’ll come clean with both of them. If we keep this a secret then we’ll both be in trouble. This is my mess, it’s my responsibility to clean it up.”
“Yeah well you still look pretty tired. We’re already late getting home, might as well face the music after a couple more hours of sleep,” Clark suggested.
Lena nodded, and made to follow him to the bed, but stopped short. “Clark?” she asked tentatively. He turned to her, eyes sunken in, exhausted looking. She wondered if she should really be asking this now, but couldn’t seem to stop herself. “When you were in the tank… did you remember anything?” Clark looked away, silent. “Sorry, stupid question. I mean you were in-”
“My mother,” Clark said quietly. Lena stopped short, staring at him. “I remembered my birth mother. Her name was Lara…”
“Oh Clark…” Lena whispered.
“She wasn’t like Jor-El… she was nice, she worried that no one here would love me.” He paused. “I think she would be pretty happy if she saw how my family turned out.”