Ronin Warriors: Unexpected Comfort 1/1
Title: Unexpected Comfort
Author: Ada C. Eliana
Fandom: Ronin Warriors
Rating: PG
Length: About 4,000 words
Warnings: None
Spoilers: Up to chapter 25 of my chaptered fic 'Changing Series: A New Foe'
Characters: Rowen, Sai, Sage, Kento, Ryo, Sarah
Notes: Missing scene for chapter 26 of 'Changing Series'
Summary: Living with former enemies isn't easy for either party. And as hostile as Rowen feels towards Katie, he just can't bring himself to hate her sister. Oneshot.
"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." - Paul Boese
Living under the same roof as two ‘former’ enemies was not always easy. And former does indeed appear in quotes because that seemed to be the inflection Rowen used in his head whenever he thought the word, especially in connection with Katie. Even he did not understand how he could find such a difference between the two sisters, why he would trust Sarah, kid around with her and sit beside her, and yet find it impossible to even be in the same room as Katie for an extended period of time. And when Rowen thought of extended he always seemed to mean more than the time it took him to let out an elongated sigh and glare in her direction.
He tried to think of why he felt this way, and Sage and the others had their input. Sage suggested that since he rarely fought Sarah in battle he did not connect those feelings - the anger, fear, resentment - with her as strongly as he did with her sister. But Rowen did not always think this was true, having fought Cale so few times did not make him any more keen on striking up a friendship than he was with Lady Kayura. (And everyone remembered the disaster that occurred when Kayura showed an untoward interest in Rowen.)
No, if Rowen were to be honest, even just with himself, in the darkest corner of his mind and the most faraway part of his heart, it would be because, even the first time he saw her, he just felt differently about Sarah. He never acknowledged it while she was evil, blinded as he was by the fight, but now that she lazed about with them in the living room and stole pizza slices from under Kento’s nose, he could admit it. He could admit that one night he wandered out on the porch to see her sitting alone, and for no particular reason found himself silently standing beside her for several moments, long enough for her to notice, and long enough for her to pretend she didn’t see him there.
There was something about her, and he didn’t mean it in the puppy dog love ‘I-am-strangely-attracted-to-this-person’ thing that was so popular in romance novels and shoujo manga - not that he ever even read that stuff, no way - but to him it was more of a strange comfort. He felt as if she were an old friend he had once shared his deepest darkest secrets with who had returned to him, that comfortable bond that needed no words and held no awkward silence. And Rowen, who had few people he could ever count as that type of friend was entirely sure that he had never before known Sarah Shima. And so the entire thing had him - a genius for crying out loud! - entirely perplexed.
At the skating rink, when Juru failed to turn Sarah with the black dust, and he stood up to his power, Rowen could have sworn for a moment her eyes had changed. And he knew, he just knew, irrational as it was, that he had seen those different eyes before, perhaps gazed into them intently and memorized their every facet. The whole business was strange, and Rowen had the feeling that he would understand more once they knew exactly why Talpa had abducted Katie and Sarah from their homes and dragged them into the everlasting battle.
Rowen heard sounds of disturbance from downstairs, and running feet coming up the stairs. Not wishing to participate in whatever foolishness was occurring now, he grabbed a textbook from the shelf next to his bed and snuck outside. As he approached the door he saw Ryo hiding in a corner giggling, and just shook his head as he slipped outside.
------
Sarah was confused. Most of the time. All of the time. Every second of every day.
Whenever she closed her eyes there stretched before her a million memories she wanted to forget; the ground rumbling beneath her feet as a massive gate slid out from it, ominous and about to change her life for good; the strong hilt of a sword as she received special training, training in an arena where time slowed and allowed her years to perfect her craft while she had really only been there for a month; the feeling of the staff, vibrating with the power of the sun as she received it from Talpa; fighting and screaming and blood and pain as countless battles passed before her; and worst of all, the way it felt to inflict pain in others while evil, how truly wonderful it felt with dark power thrumming through her veins. The dark power, it fed a need she never realized she had, and even after leaving, her body seemed to crave it. But she knew she could never go back there, it would just be all wrong. Because the demon might have taken her from her home, naïve and weak, but there they changed her into something else, into a warrior of incredible strength, and not just power-wise, but mentally, and she used that strength now to prevent herself from giving in to her need. Talpa may have stolen her mind and her body, but her soul remained hers no matter what.
But even that felt changed. She had grown up with her parents, a Japanese-American father and an Italian-American mother, so she knew snippets of both languages, but her father insisted she and Katie study Japanese at the community center. It was most necessary when it came to visiting her grandfather, who had immigrated to the United States at the end of World War II and had refused to speak any English to them as children. Hiroshi Shima was a strange man, full of riddles and ramblings about power and reincarnation and destiny. And as he got older, it became for difficult for Sarah to tell if he could really see her there, for half of his comments seemed better directed towards his deceased older sister, to whom he always claimed Sarah bore a striking resemblance. But about now Sarah would almost give anything to talk to Hiroshi again, to ask him if he knew what was happening to her, if he had any idea why Talpa had targeted her and her sister.
And speaking of her sister, though she wasn’t actually speaking to anyone, but holed up in her bedroom thinking, but that was beside the point. The point was that Katie’s behavior since they escaped the Dynasty (or were saved, really, if she were to tell the real god’s honest truth…) had troubled her. She was never overly outgoing but this new introversion was such a change, and though Sarah knew that she and her sister responded differently to stressful situations (such as, you know, being turned evil and then turned good and ending up stuck in Japan awaiting some neon sign telling them what their part in all this was) she just seemed off. Sarah could understand why Rowen was so suspicious of Katie, she would be too, if she didn’t know evil well enough having had it in her, to know that Katie had definitely been rid of it. Though now that she thought about it, was anyone truly ever rid of evil once it had taken them over? Wasn’t that dangerous desire that remained within her proof that once it touches you, it leaves a mark, an impression where it once lay that can never be covered up or ignored? Nothing terrified Sarah more than the idea of being turned evil again, and she knew that it must frighten her sister as well, perhaps that’s what this sudden change was really about.
Either way, it wasn’t gaining Katie many friends. Out of the five Ronin Warriors, only Ryo seemed to be willing to make a move towards friendship or at least away from downright hostility. Sarah supposed Sai might be on that road as well, he seemed almost neutral, content to go about his daily life without taking sides or judging. Kento, the hothead, had appealed more to Sarah than her sister, and she supposed it was because of Kento’s exuberant personality that he maintained, the quality that made him so real, so seemingly huggable, that had Sarah connecting with him instantly. Bonding with Kento required no more than a love of pepperoni pizza or playing racing games on his playstation. Of course that left two more warriors - Sage and Rowen. Rowen of course had taken an extremely hostile tone against Katie, and it prickled at Sarah, though she found it hard to judge him because of that. Sage for his part seemed more interested in watching Rowen’s back and being a good friend, and of course thinking things through and trying to reach a solution than just coming down with a condemnation.
But back to Rowen… Sarah was most disturbed by the fact that she felt as if she almost knew him, as if they had met before, had shared confidences some time now far-off. Logically it was impossible, but Grandfather Hiroshi’s talk of reincarnation and how groups of souls were continually reborn at the same time, destined to meet once again, attracted by the locked-away memories of their past lives had Sarah pondering that possibility. Was it possible that she knew Rowen in a previous life? Had they once chatted in Kyoto, or watched fireflies on an ancient summer’s night in Tokyo?
A knock at her door pulled her out of her musings. She opened it and Kento pelted into the room, diving under her bed. “We’re playing all-star hide-and-seek, mind if I stake out your room?” he asked from his crouch on the floor.
“Uh sure, have fun,” Sarah said uncertainly, wondering at exactly made this game ‘all star’ but not wanting to stick around to find out. She left the room, closing the door behind her and watching Yuli race into the bathroom.
As she walked down the stairs, Sage stood against the wall, eyes closed, counting quietly under his breath with the look of someone forced to participate on his face. She wandered past him and into the kitchen.
“You’re not playing?” Sai questioned from where he stood chopping chives at the counter.
“What?”
“I figured you’d be all for ‘All Star Hide-and-Seek’,” Sai laughed.
“Didn’t know about it in time I guess. I’m not really in a hide-and-seek mood anyhow,” she shrugged.
“Well then you better scram or you’ll end up in the game whether you want to be or not. I only got out of it because I’m making dinner,” Sai pointed out. Sarah followed his advice and wandered out the back of the manor.
-----
Sai watched as Sarah opened and closed the back door. He had been glancing over at Rowen every now and then through the window, taking notice of the slight wrinkle formed between his eyebrows as he stared into a book, back pressed against a tree. Sai thought he was probably overreacting, but he sensed that Rowen was withdrawing from the group even more than before. Ever since Katie and Sarah had taken up residence in the mansion he had been more aloof and distant than he had been since they had all first met.
Sai wasn’t sure how he felt about the sisters, but was determined to make the best of it. He and Sarah had bonded briefly over the creation of real Italian lasagna, and he could see that she wanted more than anything to have a good friend there, someone she could really trust. He never thought before how difficult it must be for them to end up living with their old enemy as well, all of the old anger and hatred rippling just beneath the surface as both parties tried to remind themselves that things had changed.
Of course the Ronin Warriors had the added benefit of knowing exactly why the Dynasty was after them. As much as Sai loathed the violent turn his life seemed determined to make, at least he had the armor, he had the knowledge that the armor came to him so he could help protect the world. He couldn’t imagine what it must feel like to be dragged into all of this with no idea as to why it was all happening and what it meant.
They were all playing a waiting game, and Sai wondered if they would like what they discovered, or if they would wish they could take it all back.
----
Sarah stepped out of the noisy manor and walked slowly away as a cool breeze swept over her. She walked down to the lake and spotted Rowen sitting against a tree with a book. She smiled and then stepped over to him. She quietly slid to the ground next to him; his attention on the book did not waver.
“What’re you reading?” she asked. He jumped and then turned to her with a smile.
“Applied physics,” he said, trying hastily to cover up his surprise. Her ability to sneak up on him was another thing that bothered him, he was always on edge, always listening, and yet she came right up to him, within killing range and he didn’t even notice.
“Sounds… interesting,” Sarah answered, sounding anything but interested.
“Well actually, it really is.” Rowen then launched into a long discussion of physics, while Sarah nodded and said “really” at the right pauses. As Sai continued to watch a slight smile began to play on his lips.
“Rowen, and Sarah?” Sai said aloud. He took another look at the pair, Rowen was still talking, his expression touched with happiness, and Sarah was staring fixedly at him listening with rapt attention.
-----
As Sai observed the pair Sage strode up behind him, it being his turn to hide and him not really all that enthusiastic about participating. “What’re you looking at?” Sage asked, taking a bite out of an apple.
“Rowen and Sarah,” Sai responded. “Look how well they’re getting along. If I didn’t know him better I would swear he was flirting,” Sai laughed. The conversation had turned, so that now Sarah was the one talking excitedly while Rowen fixed his gaze on her face and smiled.
-----
As Sarah concluded her discussion of her feeble attempts to master science she looked into Rowen’s eyes directly. She felt a wave of emotions and memories flood over her, but when she tried to grasp hold of one they seemed to evaporate into the bases of her mind, into an unreachable place. She thought again about reincarnation and focused on him hard, trying desperately to recall any of these snippets that eluded her.
“What is it?” Rowen asked, seeing her face covered with an expression of consternation.
“Nothing, I just… I just felt all of these memories and feelings come over me, but now they’re gone,” she said, her voice distant. Then she immediately came back to herself, her cheeks flaming. ‘I can’t believe I just said that!’
“Do you want to go for a walk?” Rowen asked nervously.
“Sure.” The pair stood up and walked side by side into the woods.
They walked in silence for a while, until Sarah spoke up. “These woods, they’re so beautiful.”
“Yeah, Mia’s lucky to live here,” Rowen agreed.
“They remind me of this park outside of Boston, the most beautiful scenery… They have cliffs, and waterfalls, and mountains, it’s gorgeous.” Rowen paused and turned to look at her. Her eyes were far away, with the foliage and beauty of Massachusetts. She had stopped walking as well. Then suddenly she returned; she blinked and looked at him.
“You really miss your home don’t you?” he asked quietly. She nodded.
“It seems selfish when there’s this whole war with the Dynasty going on, but I miss it. I miss coming home and telling my mom about my day, and listening to my CDs while I do my homework, daydreaming and typing on my laptop in my bedroom. I miss seeing my Dad coming in the door, just in time for dinner, and hearing him talk about work. Everything that’s been going on, it seems so surreal, like an awkward and long dream that just doesn’t end. I know that now you probably think I’m weak and selfish, but I just…”
“No, there’s nothing wrong with missing your home,” he responded, shaking his head. “You were literally just thrown into this situation without a second’s warning. It was different for us, we got our armor before the war, and when the attack began we went and fought. All of us missed our homes and our family, but at least we had some warning, there was reason it was happening and we knew it. But with you, the Dynasty abducted you and took months away, they played with your head, and we don’t even know why.” The words just came out and Rowen found himself surprised at them, as if someone else were guiding him, telling what to say. But at the same time an odd feeling rose up in his gut and he stepped closer to her, wanting to be nearer to her.
Unbidden came the memory of Kento, back when they still thought all of this would eventually end, frightened that their armor was going to make them evil. He thought of Kayura, dressed in a mini-skirt and asking him to tea, trying to fight the part of herself that remained addicted to evil’s allure and failing. He wondered how he had at one time brushed her away so callously and yet find himself moving closer to Sarah, another ex-Talpa supporter with an unknown destiny fighting to retain what defined her as her before the Dynasty came by and destroyed her life.
His mind wandered back to a conversation he had with Warlady Sarah at his high school what seemed like ages ago.
“It’s strange, I almost feel bad for you. Strata, just answer me this. Why did you protect the people of this school? Especially after the way they’ve treated you.”
“My job as a Ronin Warrior is to protect the people of this world, no matter how they treat me.”
“Hmm, so you would do anything to protect someone from your world. Then why do you fight me? Huh? I’m from this world. So are the dark warlords. How do you know who to fight and who to help?” The question had been posed so earnestly, so innocently at the time that Rowen nearly missed a beat before responding.
“I follow my conscience, something you don’t have.”
He thought that day might have been the first time that Sarah peeked through the Warlady’s veil and he wondered how she remembered it, if she now knew why she had decided to ask him that question.
For a moment he wanted to ask her what it had felt like, what it was like to be evil. If maybe some part of her wanted to go back, wanted to be that person again, that woman with the smoldering eyes and touch like fire.
But he didn’t ask. Maybe he was afraid of her answer, maybe he thought it too personal. Either way, he somehow felt that this sliver of doubt, the question that persisted would come back to haunt him.
But her hand brushing against his stopped all of his thoughts, clearing his mind and having him staring back down at her. Everything faded out and all he could see was her, the slight pink of her cheeks, and the way her dark eyes seemed to dart between his face and her hands, over and over.
----
He was much taller than her, all lean muscle and dark hair, and as she stared up into his eyes she felt she could not look away. An image flashed behind her eyes, dark hair and a gorgeous smile and creeping darkness. “Ever since… ever since the Dynasty… I’ve felt different, like I’m a million miles away from who I used to be. Rowen…I’m scared; I don’t want to go back to the Dynasty,” she admitted feebly.
“Don’t be. We won’t let them near you; we won’t let them hurt you again. We’re going to protect you.” His face was very close, she could feel his breath. With each word his voice became softer, the light in his eyes more intense. Her cheeks flushed and her stomach felt uneasy.
“You promise?” she asked quietly.
“Yeah, I do.” They were very close now, she could feel his skin against her cheek. He was leaning forward, his eyes were closed. They were very close now, so very close. Sarah closed her eyes. Their lips were almost touching.
“SARAH! ROWEN! DINNER!” Kento’s voice broke through and shattered the moment. Rowen opened his eyes and took a step back. Sarah put her hand over her mouth, stumbling backward in shock.
“What almost happened there… would have been a mistake,” she said, turning quickly so he wouldn’t see the flush of her cheeks as she headed back for the manor.
Rowen reached out, grabbing her by the shoulders and making her face him. “Why?” he asked, so confused but needing to know for sure how she felt.
“I have to stay solid with my sister, Rowen. And how could I… with someone who hates her so much?” she added with disgust at herself. She stalked off, leaving Rowen to awkwardly walk back up to the manor for dinner alone, wondering what the hell just happened.
----
Sarah sat in her dark bedroom, body shaking with each sob as tears streamed down her face. She tried to think of something different, but her mind only had eyes for the terrifying.
Fire, the power of the sun racing through her fingertips, squelching out all the cold, filling her body with mind-numbing heat and ecstasy.
The terrible sound of crunching armor as her fist flew, pounding into the flesh beneath.
Maniacal laughter emanating from her own mouth, taunting her enemies.
‘Think of something else, think of something else.’
Rowen so close she could see her reflection in his eyes.
An explosion and swooping darkness, coming ever closer, and before her stood someone tall and strong and she stared at him as she waited for it all to end.
Sarah jerked her head upright at the last one. She didn’t remember that happening, and she wondered if it was one of those snippets, those gazes into what she assumed was the distant and shadowy past, but she also wondered if it could have been the future… an omen of what was to come.
She heard Rowen’s voice from outside her door, low and whispering, but the tones clear to Sarah. Focusing on it, she wished she could go out and talk to him, she wished she could do something more than sit alone in the dark wishing it all away. But she saw in her mind’s eye a twinkle in his eyes and wondered if in a few months time, she would still want to erase all of this.
----
Rowen thought of so many things he would like to say to Sarah, each decidedly dumber than the previous. And he waited, he waited so long, too long, because then she had disappeared. A swirl of light and she was gone, and all the unspoken words in the world wouldn’t bring her back. And as he researched and pondered and searched, he hoped that this meant that she was good, that she was their ally. Because he didn’t know what he would do if after all of this she was with the Dynasty; he didn’t know if he could face that.
‘I’m scared; I don’t want to go back to the Dynasty.’
And whatever he may feel for her (he was still a little confused on that front), he hoped like hell that he would be able to keep his promise to her.
Author: Ada C. Eliana
Fandom: Ronin Warriors
Rating: PG
Length: About 4,000 words
Warnings: None
Spoilers: Up to chapter 25 of my chaptered fic 'Changing Series: A New Foe'
Characters: Rowen, Sai, Sage, Kento, Ryo, Sarah
Notes: Missing scene for chapter 26 of 'Changing Series'
Summary: Living with former enemies isn't easy for either party. And as hostile as Rowen feels towards Katie, he just can't bring himself to hate her sister. Oneshot.
"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." - Paul Boese
Living under the same roof as two ‘former’ enemies was not always easy. And former does indeed appear in quotes because that seemed to be the inflection Rowen used in his head whenever he thought the word, especially in connection with Katie. Even he did not understand how he could find such a difference between the two sisters, why he would trust Sarah, kid around with her and sit beside her, and yet find it impossible to even be in the same room as Katie for an extended period of time. And when Rowen thought of extended he always seemed to mean more than the time it took him to let out an elongated sigh and glare in her direction.
He tried to think of why he felt this way, and Sage and the others had their input. Sage suggested that since he rarely fought Sarah in battle he did not connect those feelings - the anger, fear, resentment - with her as strongly as he did with her sister. But Rowen did not always think this was true, having fought Cale so few times did not make him any more keen on striking up a friendship than he was with Lady Kayura. (And everyone remembered the disaster that occurred when Kayura showed an untoward interest in Rowen.)
No, if Rowen were to be honest, even just with himself, in the darkest corner of his mind and the most faraway part of his heart, it would be because, even the first time he saw her, he just felt differently about Sarah. He never acknowledged it while she was evil, blinded as he was by the fight, but now that she lazed about with them in the living room and stole pizza slices from under Kento’s nose, he could admit it. He could admit that one night he wandered out on the porch to see her sitting alone, and for no particular reason found himself silently standing beside her for several moments, long enough for her to notice, and long enough for her to pretend she didn’t see him there.
There was something about her, and he didn’t mean it in the puppy dog love ‘I-am-strangely-attracted-to-this-person’ thing that was so popular in romance novels and shoujo manga - not that he ever even read that stuff, no way - but to him it was more of a strange comfort. He felt as if she were an old friend he had once shared his deepest darkest secrets with who had returned to him, that comfortable bond that needed no words and held no awkward silence. And Rowen, who had few people he could ever count as that type of friend was entirely sure that he had never before known Sarah Shima. And so the entire thing had him - a genius for crying out loud! - entirely perplexed.
At the skating rink, when Juru failed to turn Sarah with the black dust, and he stood up to his power, Rowen could have sworn for a moment her eyes had changed. And he knew, he just knew, irrational as it was, that he had seen those different eyes before, perhaps gazed into them intently and memorized their every facet. The whole business was strange, and Rowen had the feeling that he would understand more once they knew exactly why Talpa had abducted Katie and Sarah from their homes and dragged them into the everlasting battle.
Rowen heard sounds of disturbance from downstairs, and running feet coming up the stairs. Not wishing to participate in whatever foolishness was occurring now, he grabbed a textbook from the shelf next to his bed and snuck outside. As he approached the door he saw Ryo hiding in a corner giggling, and just shook his head as he slipped outside.
------
Sarah was confused. Most of the time. All of the time. Every second of every day.
Whenever she closed her eyes there stretched before her a million memories she wanted to forget; the ground rumbling beneath her feet as a massive gate slid out from it, ominous and about to change her life for good; the strong hilt of a sword as she received special training, training in an arena where time slowed and allowed her years to perfect her craft while she had really only been there for a month; the feeling of the staff, vibrating with the power of the sun as she received it from Talpa; fighting and screaming and blood and pain as countless battles passed before her; and worst of all, the way it felt to inflict pain in others while evil, how truly wonderful it felt with dark power thrumming through her veins. The dark power, it fed a need she never realized she had, and even after leaving, her body seemed to crave it. But she knew she could never go back there, it would just be all wrong. Because the demon might have taken her from her home, naïve and weak, but there they changed her into something else, into a warrior of incredible strength, and not just power-wise, but mentally, and she used that strength now to prevent herself from giving in to her need. Talpa may have stolen her mind and her body, but her soul remained hers no matter what.
But even that felt changed. She had grown up with her parents, a Japanese-American father and an Italian-American mother, so she knew snippets of both languages, but her father insisted she and Katie study Japanese at the community center. It was most necessary when it came to visiting her grandfather, who had immigrated to the United States at the end of World War II and had refused to speak any English to them as children. Hiroshi Shima was a strange man, full of riddles and ramblings about power and reincarnation and destiny. And as he got older, it became for difficult for Sarah to tell if he could really see her there, for half of his comments seemed better directed towards his deceased older sister, to whom he always claimed Sarah bore a striking resemblance. But about now Sarah would almost give anything to talk to Hiroshi again, to ask him if he knew what was happening to her, if he had any idea why Talpa had targeted her and her sister.
And speaking of her sister, though she wasn’t actually speaking to anyone, but holed up in her bedroom thinking, but that was beside the point. The point was that Katie’s behavior since they escaped the Dynasty (or were saved, really, if she were to tell the real god’s honest truth…) had troubled her. She was never overly outgoing but this new introversion was such a change, and though Sarah knew that she and her sister responded differently to stressful situations (such as, you know, being turned evil and then turned good and ending up stuck in Japan awaiting some neon sign telling them what their part in all this was) she just seemed off. Sarah could understand why Rowen was so suspicious of Katie, she would be too, if she didn’t know evil well enough having had it in her, to know that Katie had definitely been rid of it. Though now that she thought about it, was anyone truly ever rid of evil once it had taken them over? Wasn’t that dangerous desire that remained within her proof that once it touches you, it leaves a mark, an impression where it once lay that can never be covered up or ignored? Nothing terrified Sarah more than the idea of being turned evil again, and she knew that it must frighten her sister as well, perhaps that’s what this sudden change was really about.
Either way, it wasn’t gaining Katie many friends. Out of the five Ronin Warriors, only Ryo seemed to be willing to make a move towards friendship or at least away from downright hostility. Sarah supposed Sai might be on that road as well, he seemed almost neutral, content to go about his daily life without taking sides or judging. Kento, the hothead, had appealed more to Sarah than her sister, and she supposed it was because of Kento’s exuberant personality that he maintained, the quality that made him so real, so seemingly huggable, that had Sarah connecting with him instantly. Bonding with Kento required no more than a love of pepperoni pizza or playing racing games on his playstation. Of course that left two more warriors - Sage and Rowen. Rowen of course had taken an extremely hostile tone against Katie, and it prickled at Sarah, though she found it hard to judge him because of that. Sage for his part seemed more interested in watching Rowen’s back and being a good friend, and of course thinking things through and trying to reach a solution than just coming down with a condemnation.
But back to Rowen… Sarah was most disturbed by the fact that she felt as if she almost knew him, as if they had met before, had shared confidences some time now far-off. Logically it was impossible, but Grandfather Hiroshi’s talk of reincarnation and how groups of souls were continually reborn at the same time, destined to meet once again, attracted by the locked-away memories of their past lives had Sarah pondering that possibility. Was it possible that she knew Rowen in a previous life? Had they once chatted in Kyoto, or watched fireflies on an ancient summer’s night in Tokyo?
A knock at her door pulled her out of her musings. She opened it and Kento pelted into the room, diving under her bed. “We’re playing all-star hide-and-seek, mind if I stake out your room?” he asked from his crouch on the floor.
“Uh sure, have fun,” Sarah said uncertainly, wondering at exactly made this game ‘all star’ but not wanting to stick around to find out. She left the room, closing the door behind her and watching Yuli race into the bathroom.
As she walked down the stairs, Sage stood against the wall, eyes closed, counting quietly under his breath with the look of someone forced to participate on his face. She wandered past him and into the kitchen.
“You’re not playing?” Sai questioned from where he stood chopping chives at the counter.
“What?”
“I figured you’d be all for ‘All Star Hide-and-Seek’,” Sai laughed.
“Didn’t know about it in time I guess. I’m not really in a hide-and-seek mood anyhow,” she shrugged.
“Well then you better scram or you’ll end up in the game whether you want to be or not. I only got out of it because I’m making dinner,” Sai pointed out. Sarah followed his advice and wandered out the back of the manor.
-----
Sai watched as Sarah opened and closed the back door. He had been glancing over at Rowen every now and then through the window, taking notice of the slight wrinkle formed between his eyebrows as he stared into a book, back pressed against a tree. Sai thought he was probably overreacting, but he sensed that Rowen was withdrawing from the group even more than before. Ever since Katie and Sarah had taken up residence in the mansion he had been more aloof and distant than he had been since they had all first met.
Sai wasn’t sure how he felt about the sisters, but was determined to make the best of it. He and Sarah had bonded briefly over the creation of real Italian lasagna, and he could see that she wanted more than anything to have a good friend there, someone she could really trust. He never thought before how difficult it must be for them to end up living with their old enemy as well, all of the old anger and hatred rippling just beneath the surface as both parties tried to remind themselves that things had changed.
Of course the Ronin Warriors had the added benefit of knowing exactly why the Dynasty was after them. As much as Sai loathed the violent turn his life seemed determined to make, at least he had the armor, he had the knowledge that the armor came to him so he could help protect the world. He couldn’t imagine what it must feel like to be dragged into all of this with no idea as to why it was all happening and what it meant.
They were all playing a waiting game, and Sai wondered if they would like what they discovered, or if they would wish they could take it all back.
----
Sarah stepped out of the noisy manor and walked slowly away as a cool breeze swept over her. She walked down to the lake and spotted Rowen sitting against a tree with a book. She smiled and then stepped over to him. She quietly slid to the ground next to him; his attention on the book did not waver.
“What’re you reading?” she asked. He jumped and then turned to her with a smile.
“Applied physics,” he said, trying hastily to cover up his surprise. Her ability to sneak up on him was another thing that bothered him, he was always on edge, always listening, and yet she came right up to him, within killing range and he didn’t even notice.
“Sounds… interesting,” Sarah answered, sounding anything but interested.
“Well actually, it really is.” Rowen then launched into a long discussion of physics, while Sarah nodded and said “really” at the right pauses. As Sai continued to watch a slight smile began to play on his lips.
“Rowen, and Sarah?” Sai said aloud. He took another look at the pair, Rowen was still talking, his expression touched with happiness, and Sarah was staring fixedly at him listening with rapt attention.
-----
As Sai observed the pair Sage strode up behind him, it being his turn to hide and him not really all that enthusiastic about participating. “What’re you looking at?” Sage asked, taking a bite out of an apple.
“Rowen and Sarah,” Sai responded. “Look how well they’re getting along. If I didn’t know him better I would swear he was flirting,” Sai laughed. The conversation had turned, so that now Sarah was the one talking excitedly while Rowen fixed his gaze on her face and smiled.
-----
As Sarah concluded her discussion of her feeble attempts to master science she looked into Rowen’s eyes directly. She felt a wave of emotions and memories flood over her, but when she tried to grasp hold of one they seemed to evaporate into the bases of her mind, into an unreachable place. She thought again about reincarnation and focused on him hard, trying desperately to recall any of these snippets that eluded her.
“What is it?” Rowen asked, seeing her face covered with an expression of consternation.
“Nothing, I just… I just felt all of these memories and feelings come over me, but now they’re gone,” she said, her voice distant. Then she immediately came back to herself, her cheeks flaming. ‘I can’t believe I just said that!’
“Do you want to go for a walk?” Rowen asked nervously.
“Sure.” The pair stood up and walked side by side into the woods.
They walked in silence for a while, until Sarah spoke up. “These woods, they’re so beautiful.”
“Yeah, Mia’s lucky to live here,” Rowen agreed.
“They remind me of this park outside of Boston, the most beautiful scenery… They have cliffs, and waterfalls, and mountains, it’s gorgeous.” Rowen paused and turned to look at her. Her eyes were far away, with the foliage and beauty of Massachusetts. She had stopped walking as well. Then suddenly she returned; she blinked and looked at him.
“You really miss your home don’t you?” he asked quietly. She nodded.
“It seems selfish when there’s this whole war with the Dynasty going on, but I miss it. I miss coming home and telling my mom about my day, and listening to my CDs while I do my homework, daydreaming and typing on my laptop in my bedroom. I miss seeing my Dad coming in the door, just in time for dinner, and hearing him talk about work. Everything that’s been going on, it seems so surreal, like an awkward and long dream that just doesn’t end. I know that now you probably think I’m weak and selfish, but I just…”
“No, there’s nothing wrong with missing your home,” he responded, shaking his head. “You were literally just thrown into this situation without a second’s warning. It was different for us, we got our armor before the war, and when the attack began we went and fought. All of us missed our homes and our family, but at least we had some warning, there was reason it was happening and we knew it. But with you, the Dynasty abducted you and took months away, they played with your head, and we don’t even know why.” The words just came out and Rowen found himself surprised at them, as if someone else were guiding him, telling what to say. But at the same time an odd feeling rose up in his gut and he stepped closer to her, wanting to be nearer to her.
Unbidden came the memory of Kento, back when they still thought all of this would eventually end, frightened that their armor was going to make them evil. He thought of Kayura, dressed in a mini-skirt and asking him to tea, trying to fight the part of herself that remained addicted to evil’s allure and failing. He wondered how he had at one time brushed her away so callously and yet find himself moving closer to Sarah, another ex-Talpa supporter with an unknown destiny fighting to retain what defined her as her before the Dynasty came by and destroyed her life.
His mind wandered back to a conversation he had with Warlady Sarah at his high school what seemed like ages ago.
“It’s strange, I almost feel bad for you. Strata, just answer me this. Why did you protect the people of this school? Especially after the way they’ve treated you.”
“My job as a Ronin Warrior is to protect the people of this world, no matter how they treat me.”
“Hmm, so you would do anything to protect someone from your world. Then why do you fight me? Huh? I’m from this world. So are the dark warlords. How do you know who to fight and who to help?” The question had been posed so earnestly, so innocently at the time that Rowen nearly missed a beat before responding.
“I follow my conscience, something you don’t have.”
He thought that day might have been the first time that Sarah peeked through the Warlady’s veil and he wondered how she remembered it, if she now knew why she had decided to ask him that question.
For a moment he wanted to ask her what it had felt like, what it was like to be evil. If maybe some part of her wanted to go back, wanted to be that person again, that woman with the smoldering eyes and touch like fire.
But he didn’t ask. Maybe he was afraid of her answer, maybe he thought it too personal. Either way, he somehow felt that this sliver of doubt, the question that persisted would come back to haunt him.
But her hand brushing against his stopped all of his thoughts, clearing his mind and having him staring back down at her. Everything faded out and all he could see was her, the slight pink of her cheeks, and the way her dark eyes seemed to dart between his face and her hands, over and over.
----
He was much taller than her, all lean muscle and dark hair, and as she stared up into his eyes she felt she could not look away. An image flashed behind her eyes, dark hair and a gorgeous smile and creeping darkness. “Ever since… ever since the Dynasty… I’ve felt different, like I’m a million miles away from who I used to be. Rowen…I’m scared; I don’t want to go back to the Dynasty,” she admitted feebly.
“Don’t be. We won’t let them near you; we won’t let them hurt you again. We’re going to protect you.” His face was very close, she could feel his breath. With each word his voice became softer, the light in his eyes more intense. Her cheeks flushed and her stomach felt uneasy.
“You promise?” she asked quietly.
“Yeah, I do.” They were very close now, she could feel his skin against her cheek. He was leaning forward, his eyes were closed. They were very close now, so very close. Sarah closed her eyes. Their lips were almost touching.
“SARAH! ROWEN! DINNER!” Kento’s voice broke through and shattered the moment. Rowen opened his eyes and took a step back. Sarah put her hand over her mouth, stumbling backward in shock.
“What almost happened there… would have been a mistake,” she said, turning quickly so he wouldn’t see the flush of her cheeks as she headed back for the manor.
Rowen reached out, grabbing her by the shoulders and making her face him. “Why?” he asked, so confused but needing to know for sure how she felt.
“I have to stay solid with my sister, Rowen. And how could I… with someone who hates her so much?” she added with disgust at herself. She stalked off, leaving Rowen to awkwardly walk back up to the manor for dinner alone, wondering what the hell just happened.
----
Sarah sat in her dark bedroom, body shaking with each sob as tears streamed down her face. She tried to think of something different, but her mind only had eyes for the terrifying.
Fire, the power of the sun racing through her fingertips, squelching out all the cold, filling her body with mind-numbing heat and ecstasy.
The terrible sound of crunching armor as her fist flew, pounding into the flesh beneath.
Maniacal laughter emanating from her own mouth, taunting her enemies.
‘Think of something else, think of something else.’
Rowen so close she could see her reflection in his eyes.
An explosion and swooping darkness, coming ever closer, and before her stood someone tall and strong and she stared at him as she waited for it all to end.
Sarah jerked her head upright at the last one. She didn’t remember that happening, and she wondered if it was one of those snippets, those gazes into what she assumed was the distant and shadowy past, but she also wondered if it could have been the future… an omen of what was to come.
She heard Rowen’s voice from outside her door, low and whispering, but the tones clear to Sarah. Focusing on it, she wished she could go out and talk to him, she wished she could do something more than sit alone in the dark wishing it all away. But she saw in her mind’s eye a twinkle in his eyes and wondered if in a few months time, she would still want to erase all of this.
----
Rowen thought of so many things he would like to say to Sarah, each decidedly dumber than the previous. And he waited, he waited so long, too long, because then she had disappeared. A swirl of light and she was gone, and all the unspoken words in the world wouldn’t bring her back. And as he researched and pondered and searched, he hoped that this meant that she was good, that she was their ally. Because he didn’t know what he would do if after all of this she was with the Dynasty; he didn’t know if he could face that.
‘I’m scared; I don’t want to go back to the Dynasty.’
And whatever he may feel for her (he was still a little confused on that front), he hoped like hell that he would be able to keep his promise to her.