wellll thenn
once upon a time my best friend and me went to the same school
we were both little both agreed on the "do's" and "don't's" of life
now she went to a new school but when i am with her she is her
old normal self and now sadly this is again happening with someone
whom i consider my "bestestestestest" friend and i just dont agree
with her choises and i choose not to do what she is doing but it is hard
drepressing sometimes and just maddening that as we grow up we
see the best of our friends and they are choosing to do some dumb
things as we grow up we have choices to make and sadly i am at a
crossroad i could blow off all my morals and agree witht the things
she is doing or i can just sit back and watch pretending to not care
when really i am dieing in side i hate that she does those things
and i honestly do not want to associate with people who do
those kinda of things yet she is my best friend and i would hate to
loose someone so important in my life i feel the pressure to join
her and i know i cannot give in but i feel like we are getting less
and less in common i feel like crying and i know my best friends
can tell yet i resist for fear of not being liked by them but arent they
suppost to be my best friends they shouldnt talk shyt about me
they should agree with me they should not be drinking or smoking
they should have morals and just stay young innocent or maybe
i should just grow a part like it happend before still be "best friends"
and not talk or txt or hang like we used to i hate growing up i want to
be little innocent i am innocent or i can tell myself this at least and
i am living in two worlds one world where i am attempting to hid my
fears and pain(not working so well i must say) and then the other world
with my best friend that is still innocent we know how to have a good
time without drinks with out anything bad just candy or even just ourselves
that is a true friend and sadly i think i know who my true best friend is i
keep telling myself it isnt her it is her or her or her but i know who it really is
we dont pressure each other we laugh have a great time yes i do have laughs
and great times with the other hers but idk its different they are not as
innocent as me and her and i really want to stay innocent and happy with
her even if that means like breaking away from my "bestestestestest"
friend....................................... :[im so confussed]: