A New Collar
Back in October of 2019, I had a break down, as I had been under a lot of stress, was super depressed as well as suicidal. Things were bad between Master (aka Matt) and Tiffi. Tiffi and I were arguing non-stop, and during one conversation, I hauled off and slugged Master, well Tiffi exploded. She felt that Matt and I needed a break, Matt and I fought it at first, but eventually agreed that it was for the best. Well, Matt and I have been struggling ever since. While I agreed to the break, deep down, I don't think we should have taken one. In life, love, relationships, and everything else you don't get to take a break, you suck it up and deal with what's going on. I feel right now that there is a gap and distance between Master and I, and I'm not sure that we can come back from it.
Then, several months ago, the topic of buying me a new collar has come up between Master and I a couple times this week. I keep telling Master that I don’t want a new one, but he isn’t listening to me. He keeps telling me that I know I miss my collar being around my neck and yada, yada, yada. There are multiple reasons that I don’t want another, but instead of asking me why I don’t want another, he keeps pushing it on me. I hate when he thinks he knows what I’m feeling because he has the ability to know what’s going on in my head, but sometimes it would be nice if he would at least ask me what’s going on and see if we can fix the issues.
While I want this blog to be about our polyamory relationship and my M/s relationship, I'm not quite ready to share the reasons I don't want a new collar, as I feel I need to work on the issues within myself and then with Master, then I'll blog about it for the whole world to see.
Then, several months ago, the topic of buying me a new collar has come up between Master and I a couple times this week. I keep telling Master that I don’t want a new one, but he isn’t listening to me. He keeps telling me that I know I miss my collar being around my neck and yada, yada, yada. There are multiple reasons that I don’t want another, but instead of asking me why I don’t want another, he keeps pushing it on me. I hate when he thinks he knows what I’m feeling because he has the ability to know what’s going on in my head, but sometimes it would be nice if he would at least ask me what’s going on and see if we can fix the issues.
While I want this blog to be about our polyamory relationship and my M/s relationship, I'm not quite ready to share the reasons I don't want a new collar, as I feel I need to work on the issues within myself and then with Master, then I'll blog about it for the whole world to see.