Tora, kono fikku ni anata wa warui otoko ni natte shimatta, Gomen ne~
Note:
1.Italic Words are from Panic! At The Disco Song’s, Build God then We’ll talk.
2.Banner made by deadlycherry
HE IS A PLAYER AND HE IS A TOY
~*~A Torapon fic, 1316 words, One Shot~*~
Hiroto was only sixteen years old and wore his school uniform when his mother found a picture of him kissing a raven haired guy -shirtless and passionately. His mother held the picture tightly that it crumpled and her hands was shaking as if it a cursed thing. She couldn’t believe with what she saw, what she held, and wished that’s only a nightmare.
The day was perfect, there is no dark cloud or hiding sun, as Hiroto walked back home. The boy was smiling acutely cute as though he just met his super hero, Spiderman. As usual as it is, he opened the main door and shouted ‘tadaima’ to whoever who will answer ‘okaeri’ to him. The boy will straightly go upstairs to his room if there’s no one greet him back. Maybe his mother in the kitchen preparing her son’s lunch, or maybe she’s gardening on the backyard. Well, Hiroto didn’t give a damn of it, he just want to rest his mind and body after five hours ruining his time at school.
Creak
Hiroto opened his bed room door. The black bag dropped down from his shoulder, he stood unmoved and speechless like the day was suddenly being cruel to him as the number one woman in his life was cried while holding his precious picture. He made a weak step to the edge of the bed where his mother sat, crying out a disgrace of her son, with his fragile eyes which ready to burst out in anytime.
“Mom,” he managed to sit on the floor in front of the crying woman. “I’m sorry” he said very lowly. The boy extended his hand to the shaking hand and carefully took off the crumpled picture and changed the empty hand into a clutch.
“Gomen ne, Hiroto-kun,” the woman choked back tears, “I’m failed as a mother”
The boy lowered his head and let those transparent liquid rolled down from his eyes. He cried inaudibly -guiltily. He totally aware that is not his mother fault to have him fell for the same gender. His mother is the best mother in the world, why now she said ‘sorry’ and blaming herself for his shame? Isn’t it him who must ask an apology? It is his fault isn’t it?
Although Hiroto want to tell his mother that she’s not failed as a mother and it was him who failed as a good son, the words was never come out. It stuck on his throat and it hurt that he barely thought clearly.
Hiroto was so blue.
The boy pulled off his hand from his mother and gave an apology kiss on her wet cheek. He stood up to left his bed room and just stopped for some second on the door to said ‘hontou ni gomen nasai kaasan’. Sadly, the words threw unheard by the crying woman and Hiroto did it in purpose. He will back to his mother when he’s in a good shape and ready to face everything that has waiting for him after these messes. As for now, he just wants to be in a comfort place where he can regain his composure, a place that always gives him warmth, a place that never fail to fade away his weary.
Needless to say, the boy was running to a place where he knew by heart.
Knock knock
Hiroto stood up facing the white familiar door, hoping that the person who lives behind this door will kiss away his shattered mind as it always worked before.
“Hiroto...” The raven guy from the picture was standing adorably gorgeous before him. His hair is the color of night sky, proportional body wrapped in sleeveless black shirt and worn out jeans, silver cone under bottom lip ornamenting invulnerable face, eagle-like eyes was staring Hiroto’s flimsy figure in confusion. The taller guy was confused of the tears that fell mercilessly, of the sweat over forehead and neck, of the quivering legs, of the irregular breath -of Hiroto.
Tora was clueless.
“Mom’s know” said Hiroto before he tossed his body against Tora, hugged him tightly that the black shirt wrinkled on his clutch.
The taller guy froze like a statue, when he aware of a probability that other tenants on this fifth floor may notice them, he pushed the door and hugged the younger back as he sure the door completely closed and hid their closeness. Hiroto’s small hands circled around Tora’s fine waist, his head rested on Tora’s fine chest. Tora himself had his hand enfolded the shaking shoulders and applied some strokes and kisses on younger boy head for consolation. The boy was sobbed like a baby while Tora stayed silence.
inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy
“I’m scare,” voice come out wavering “what if Mom told Dad about this and decided to disown me as his son?” Hiroto hugged his folding knee and pressed it against his chest even harder. Smoothness and softness surface of the black velvet couch couldn’t help much to comfort the sobbing boy, he felt so small and helpless. Only being in Tora’s embrace he could found secure ness, only with Tora’s touch he could threw away his worries, only Tora who could kiss away emotional distress on him. And Hiroto believe, un-fucking-believably trust the person who’s holding him protectively right now is a magic-bullet.
“They won’t do that, Hiroto. They are love you more than anything”.
No reply but decreasing sob.
“Your Mom will be so sad if you’re not going home”.
“I don’t want to,” the boy hissed “I’m scare”
“Hiroto, there’s nothing to scare about” said Tora reassuringly “they will understand if you’re speaking out. I’m sure they will love you for who you are”
Tora cupped his hands on Hiroto’s face whose eyes stared back at Tora’s for encouragement.
“Every thing will be alright,” a soft kiss on Hiroto’s lips “I promise”
The boy dozed off easily on Tora’s embrace after he whispered him some soothe words which heard much like a bundle of wonderful stanza for Hiroto. The boy had cried like a baby and sleep like one after he said a prayer…
~
“I can’t believe a guy like you said those cheesy phrases, Tora”
“Hiroto knew me as a tutor and lover. What do you think I suppose to say, Aoi?”
“Say that you tutor him for extra money to fill your addiction of smoke and liquor”
“That’s a genius way to get his mother slit my throat”
“So, what’s your plan about this case?”
“What case?”
“A case that involving a mother who freaked out that his son have affair with his tutor”
“Oh, I’m going to do nothing”
“You’re crazy”
“Sort of”
“Had you fucked him?”
“A sure thing. Six times on his bed and twelve times on my bed. Satisfied?”
“What an innocent poor boy. He is in a deep shit while you’re here looking for someone to fuck”
“At least I did lullaby him until he fell asleep before I came here”
“Very impressive”
“Please mind your business, because I do”
“Yeah right. Your business is to get that blond boy service your cock”
“Just watch how I get that boy in ten minutes, Aoi”
“Hey, I will give you 150.000 yen if you tame him in five minutes and you will tutor my cousin for a month if you failed”
“Deal. Watch your wallet then”
“See you in five minutes Mr. Egocentric”
~
…Hiroto asked God to let him spend more hours on studying with Tora as a tutor, to let him feel the warmth of Tora’s body, to let him savor every moment he had with Tora, to let him be the only one who own Tora’s kiss and hug, to let him be the only guy on Tora’s arms, and to let him stay on Tora’s side forever.
But hey, life is not a fairy tale. There are no drain drops on roses and girls on white dresses.
~*~OWARI~*~