musesandlyrics | 9.3. Oscar Wilde quote
9.3. "The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it."
Oscar Wilde
Co-written with lyricalembrace
Airlie was sitting on Rory's bed in her duck pyjamas, red hair piled up in a messy ponytail on top of her head, and Wee Willy curled up in a ball in her lap as she watched reruns of Sex and the City on the crappy little TV at the end of the bed. She had been keenly interested in watching, until she realised that when she last watched it, she had been a normal human with normal feelings who could eat normal chocolate and have normal PMS that allowed her to commiserate and watch stupid TV shows like this. All it did was make her feel more depressed, and more hungry. She had shamefully resorted to feeding on the odd tourist in town to see the Palace, and only stuck to burly men who she could flirt with enough to get into her good graces and who looked like they could tolerate a bit of blood loss. She had been depressed before Rory even left for Paris, but had managed to fall into an even bigger funk without him around to commiserate. She damn well hoped the Slayer was in horrific and soul-ripping emotional distress, or Airlie would be even more pissed off at her for taking her best friend away from her.
She knew she wasn't really pissed off with Buffy, though. It was just projection because Buffy was Xander's friend, and Xander was... AWOL. MIA. All of those acronyms that meant buggered off into oblivion. She didn't know if she really had expected to hear from him after her revelation, but she had hoped she would. How could she really expect him to want to be with her, though? It was different for Buffy with Prince of Paris. Completely different. She was a Slayer, and she had frolicked romantically with vampires in the past. But Airlie had no right in asking Xander to be with her, no matter how attracted she had been to him. She should never have fed from him, either. Now she was just filled with bucketloads of guilt and regret. And she was lonely. Wee Willy was good company and he liked hugs, but he wasn't Rory and he wasn't anyone else. He was a puppy, who slept half the day away and farted on her when he got relaxed enough. Not all that unlike his owner, but at least Rory was a non-furry shoulder to cry on.
When Rory's doorbell rang, she seriously considered ignoring it. But then she got guilty that maybe it was a little granny with a flat tyre who might need help, or maybe the Salvation Army needing vital donations to save starving kids. Her conscience got the better of her, and she got up off the bed to go get the door, Wee Willy trotting behind her like the man of the house that he was. When she got to the door, though, he started barking loudly, running around in circles. "Ach, shut it, fur ball," she told him and held him back with her foot so he wouldn't launch himself at the visitor. But when she got the door open, she froze in shock, blinking. Xander. It was Xander, and she was in duck pyjamas. "I dinnae even like ducks much!" she blurted out.
"Really? Well, that's good since I was just standing here thinking that what I really needed to get you to express my feelings properly was a pet duck. It could have been really, really awkward though if you weren't into the whole idea of ducks though," Xander commented with a smile as he looked at Airlie. Personally he was finding the duck pyjamas cute and appealing. "I also just have to say that I meant to ring the bell a lot earlier. Like, maybe six hours earlier, but I couldn't get out of my car. See, I tend to suffer from foot in mouth and I didn't want to mess this up. I was going to show up with some amazing speech, or maybe just some suave Bond moves that would have you back in my arms without a second thought. But amazing speeches aren't me unless I'm having a supremely good day, or talking Willow out of destroying the world, and I'm not Bond. I'm me, and if you still want me... I definitely want you, Airlie. I like you a lot, and I'm sorry I'm late, but I just wanted to get this right."
Airlie gave a nervous laugh at his joking, but then she clamped her mouth shut, still fully aware she was standing there looking like a complete giant dork in duck pyjamas. She might be Kindred, but she hadn't quite been of their world long enough to get the cool, sexy mojo happening. When she was on stage and had her music, she could pull it off, but without it, when it was just her and nothing else, the sexy just seemed to want to bugger off. "I... I just... um..." she stammered and then reached up to try and comb her hair into a more attractive mess than it was with her fingers. It was more of a nervous gesture, though. She didn't want to believe what he was saying just to have him change his mind. "I just thought you'd been busy... showing lassies how to rid the world of evil... and all that. You probably dinnae even get a lunch break, like. Or annual leave. Maybe nay even superannuation..." She was rambling, and still sounding like a dork. "Or maybe went to Paris. Which is very far away from Scotland... Thought you came to your senses and realised I wasnae worth the hassle..." she finally admitted quietly.
Xander did actually manage to wait for her ramble to get to a finish. He couldn't deny he liked ramblers. A part of him was always going to be attracted to them, attracted to the talkers. He was also struggling to see Airlie as the scary vampire chick. Then again, he'd never thought of her as a scary vampire. He'd thought of her as beautiful and out of his reach. Even now he wasn't sure why she'd want him, but it could work. He was never going to be able to love a 'normal' girl. He was the demon magnet. He was Xander Harris. And he stepped across the threshold of Rory's front door to cup Airlie's face in his hands and kiss her. "I'm not good enough for Paris. For whatever Buffy's doing. But if I'm good enough for you, then I'm in this. I'm in this all the way... and god, you really are beautiful. Even covered in ducks."
"I-I-I... I only got the ducks because there were nay sheep left," Airlie offered, feeling a little dizzy in the wake of the kiss. She looked over his face and then at his lips, and found that this time she was managing to fight off the urge to take it further. She was just completely wrapped up in the fact he was even here and he didn't hate her. At least, it didn't sound like he hated her, and people didn't kiss people they hated like that, right? "Paris isnae good enough for you," she added and wet her lips as she continued to look up at him in awe. Then, after a moment, she couldn't resist pinching his upper arm to make sure he was actually real.
"Hey!" Xander protested as he had to pull back to rub his arm. "I'm still delicate, you know. I'm not a Slayer, or anything special. I just have normal muscles, and normal skin. I bruise easy." He cracked a smile though and brushed his lips against the corner of hers before he pulled her into an embrace. "I really am sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I know it wasn't ideal. I was just a little busy with the... ah, murderers. Buffy was rethinking things before she disappeared. I think she's having magic regret. Only reversing this isn't as easy as returning a pair of shoes that don't fit."
Airlie rested her tongue between her lips sheepishly and then buried her face into his shoulder, drawing in his familiar scent. She hadn't forgotten it. It had plagued her in his absence, made her feel like she was hurting from the inside out. She hadn't claimed him, or marked him, or anything like that. She had just fallen for him, plain and simple, in the plain and simple way. "I'm sorry I called them murderers. Okay, nay really, but I'm sorry I hurt you when I called them murderers. You cannae blame magic when hearts are involved, and you cannae just reverse how a heart feels using magic, either. You can try, but it'll always come back and bite you firmly on the arse. I havenae heard so much aboot how Rory's going in Paris. He just mentioned GI Joe and accidental drunk sex."
"GI Joe?" Xander frowned as he tried to work out what an action figure had to do with anything before the penny dropped and he made a noise. "Oh. Oh. Riley Finn. Yeah, I guess he's GI Joe. Only less with the stiff legs and abnormally muscular arms. And as far as I'm aware he's anatomically correct, but I've only ever had Buffy's word on that I swear. So there was some drunken sex with Rory and Riley? There's... wow. I guess Paris really does make you want to do things differently." He rubbed his hand against Airlie's back and just took comfort in the fact she was in his arms again. He really had missed her. "Well, Buffy's heart isn't in her decision to jump start every Potential into Slayerhood. She's been pretty quick to wash her hands of them... Of us. Guess I can't really blame her. Suddenly the Mom and Pop Slayer business went even more global."
"Who's Riley Finn? See, I didnae get details. I just assumed it was Rory having accidental sex, but I didnae think it was with Buffy. Wasnae she going there for Blaise? I dinnae get it, I really dinnae. You know more than I do, and I want details. Getting them oot of Rory is like getting a chicken to turn into a duck on command. What makes you think Buffy would be having sex with Rory and the soldier guy? He is a soldier, right?" Airlie pulled back a little so she could see Xander's face and blinked in surprise. "She's gone to Paris for good? Why... are you sure? Why would she wash her hands of her best friends?"
Xander shut the door as he shuffled the two of them further into the house. "Blaise is the mysterious French dude, right? See, that part I don't know so much about. I know she was all stuck on the mysterious and the accent. But then she liked Rory's accent too, and at one point even he was mysterious until she saved his ass. She hasn't gone for good, she just doesn't seem to want to have anything to do with the Slayerettes. Which is fair enough, I guess. I mean, who would want to be the leader of a bunch of murderers. And yeah, you did really hurt me with that one. Only I do understand your point. I don't want you to think I don't. I thought maybe Buffy was having sex with the Frenchman and Rory and Riley were doing each other. But then I was only half listening since my mind just went to you and me having sex," Xander revealed sheepishly. "Riley's Buffy's ex. He's a soldier, and he could have been a great love but she just didn't want to let herself fall for him."
Airlie was looking up at him, her mouth hanging open. "You dinnae know anything about Blaise? Anything at all?" she repeated and then put her fingers up to her lips, wondering if it was actually her place to say anything. Why hadn't Buffy told her friends? Maybe she was just ashamed to have been involved with Kindred in any way, and now Xander was here. Would Xander change his mind if Buffy disapproved? But she waved her hands. "No... no, no, no. Rory's straight as an arrow. Has been his whole life. Nay even any hint of bicuriousity ever. He's a boob laddie, through and through. Sex? You want us to have sex together after what I... after last time?" She took his hand and dragged him into the living room. "I think you need to sit doon. If Buffy's slept with Rory or her ex, and she has been, um, getting involved with Blaise along the lines, she could be over there getting herself into a lot of mess."
Xander frowned as he watched Airlie. "What kind of mess? Because usually when she gets into a mess the world's either about to end, or there's hearts involved. Sometimes both. And okay, there were always gonna be hearts involved because hey - Frenchman. Only I'm getting the feeling now that you know more than I do, and I'm not sure if that's a good thing, or not."
Airlie sat down on the sofa and pulled Xander down next to her. "Do you know anything aboot Kindred beyond the fact I'm one? Anything at all?" she asked, her green eyes holding his gaze intently. She glanced around, knowing Rory had been doing research. Even moreso lately with Blaise involved. There was Kindred information around here from when Airlie's Sire had been teaching Rory. She just wouldn't even know where to find it.
Xander gave a shake of his head as he continued to watch her with his one eye. "No, nothing. You're my first and only source. It was a wake up call and everything, but still completely clueless here. Am I supposed to know more?"
Airlie scratched her head roughly, scrunching her nose up a little. "Well, aye... it would be less painful for me to have to explain it all. Just... I cannae promise I willnae do it withoot bawling, and trust me, when I cry, it isnae pretty. I've ruined more of Rory's clothes than I care to admit." She got up off the sofa and started trawling through Rory's bookshelf. There had to be something here, some sort of of book she could give Xander to at least know more. Until she froze, turning back to him and held up her hands. "Wait. You cannae tell any Slayers or anyone linked to Slayers any of what I tell you. You cannae. It's The Masquerade. It's our very essence. Buffy already probably knows too much, but her source of information calls the shots, so to speak."
"Buffy knows? But I didn't even talk to her about you!" Xander squeaked as he held his hands up. "I promised you because you made me promise. So unless Rory's the one breaking your silence, I didn't breathe a word. It's why it's taken me so long to get my thoughts straight. I'm a talker, I always have been. I need to be able to talk and ramble and listen to the sound of my own voice sometimes before I can decide anything. Even what boxers to put on. I haven't said a word so far, I'm not about to start."
Airlie stood there ringing her hands, already close to tears. "I dinnae really know how to explain it all properly. I mean, I dinnae know so much myself, just what I've learnt to survive, but I know enough. Buffy knows because... because... Blaise. He's Kindred. But he's nay just any Kindred. He's the Prince of the City. Which is kind of a skewed titled, because he's actually the Prince of all of France. It's just a fancy way of saying he bases in Paris. Which is gonna sound fucked up to you just thrown at you like that. Um... Kindred, we're like a whole race of our own. We exist among humans, and masquerade like humans to survive, but we still live in our own world. We have Clans, just like the Scots here. Clans are different bloodlines. You have the whole of Kindred, and then within that, different bloodlines. Different types of Kindred with different traits. Like, I'm what they call Toreador. Sort of the arty snobs of the bunch, to be blunt. Fuck... Rory has information!" she cried and stooped down, reaching behind the back shelf of the booksheld to where she knew he kept his x-rated porn. After dragging out a few highly questionable DVDs, she pulled out a journal that had all of Rory's notes on Kindred. "Oh thank fuck!" She did a small happy dance and then brought it back over to Xander, trying to ignore the fact he was gaping stupidly at her. "Each large city and country has a Prince. It could be male or female, but it is a Kindred who is usually very old and very experienced, who have worked their way up to the position. They rule above all else within the country, and they control the Clans, keep peace in the country amongst the Kindred and ensure the Masquerade is respected. They're literally royalty."
Xander was still gaping at her, but after a moment he just gaped at the journal that was suddenly in his lap. "Buffy's boinking Kindred royalty? I don't... I don't even know how to begin to process that. As if two vampires wasn't enough. And I really didn't mean that because I know you're Kindred, and I'm not changing my mind and you're amazing, and I mentioned beautiful, right? I didn't mean it like that. I just meant... Okay, I don't know what I mean anymore. Maybe just that they really are Buffy's type, and for once I think maybe I get it." Xander wet his lips and resisted the urge to scratch at the scar tissue under his eye patch. "Now I get why she hasn't told me much about the guy. She would have been sworn to secrecy too, right? Only allowed to talk to the ones that already know. Like Rory." Xander snorted as he flicked the pages of the journal. "She's not coming back."
"No... I... I dinnae think it's as simple as bonking Kindred royalty. Blaise Richelieu is... well, he's almost like a myth. I mean, people know he exists, and he's so fecking old. But I dinnae think he is just going to let Buffy into his world, let alone his bed, without there being some sort of trust happening there. And trust doesnae happen overnight, like. It never does. There's also the fact he isnae just Kindred royalty. He's royalty royalty. Like, he was the son of a French King hundreds of years ago. That's when he was embraced. The history books just say he went missing on a hunt, thought to be taken by wolves. Ironic, really. Some Kindred have the ability to turn into wolves. White wolves. Some of the more stronger ones can even go oot in the sun in that form. I dinnae doubt she has been sworn to secrecy, especially from you guys, who are, you know... army of murderers. I'm sorry! But it's true. Only, you lot arenae exactly honing in the right skills to take us doon. That's all I'm gonna say on that matter. You can see why I'm confused aboot the GI Joe involvement. If she has gone to be with Blaise, why is she sleeping with her ex? Or with Rory? If she even is. I'm confused now." Airlie looked over Rory's neat writing, complete with diagrams of the Kindred Clan symbols. She pointed to the info about Ventrue. "That's what he is."
Xander flinched at the description of the Slayerettes again, his lips pressing together as he bit back an argument. He didn't want to argue with Airlie. It was another part of why it had taken him so long to come back to her. He didn't have the energy to argue over the purpose of the Slayerettes. Airlie was never going to see them as anything else but murderers and it hurt. He gripped the journal tightly for a moment as he stared down at Rory's handwriting, but nothing was being absorbed. Only Airlie's voice. "He's genuine royalty. Huh. That would definitely explain the diamonds. Buffy said he was a businessman. I'm sure she said he was a businessman. This Masquerade stuff is pretty full on, isn't it? It's like deep, deep undercover. Riley came here to see Buffy, but she was already in Paris. Me and Will told him where to find her. I can't deny I was a little overjoyed the big man was looking for Buffy. I've always been Team Riley. I don't know this French dude. But if he hurts Buffy I'll just have to write a really, really angry letter. I'm not stupid enough to try and attack Kindred royalty." Xander looked at the diagram and squinted with his good eye as he tried his best to focus. "Ventrue? So he's like... oh, okay. That explains the businessman thing. They only drink one kind of blood?"
"He is a businessman. He owns some huge company in France, which is a real company, but also operates as a mask. Like everything else. It's nay really undercover, it's just... concealed. Like, my Sire. He's a rockstar. Famous. No one listens to his music and thinks, hey bloodsucker. We do what we can to survive. We remain as normal as we can be, but not masquerade and no masks can remove the fact we need blood to survive. We're not immortal, we can still love and be loved. We just have secrets. I havenae even scratched the surface with what you could know about Kindred. You can read Rory's journal, but I cannae let you take it away. It cannae fall into the wrong hands. Apparently, so far, other than Buffy, Slayers or Slayer lore have no knowledge of Kindred. We want it to stay that way. So, you, um... you sent this soldier laddie to see Buffy, even though Buffy was over there chasing another laddie?" She pulled a face slightly and glanced at him. "Awkward. Someone's gonna really get hurt, aye. Ventrue are basically the most powerful clan. Businessmen, tycoons. The rich and powerful. Nay all of them can only drink one sort of blood, but a lot of the more refined ones do. I dinnae mind for sure, but Rory indicated Blaise was one of them. Can only drink from people who have experience real, true love apparently. If they havenae, he'll pretty much reject the blood straight away. But he's the Prince. He willnae be short of people wanting to let him feed on them. He probably has people just for that purpose."
Xander slumped back against the sofa cushions as he just tried to process everything that Airlie was telling him, but he was aware it suddenly seemed bigger than he could manage. He missed the days of getting Monsters of the Week, and Big Bads with humble aims like becoming a giant snake and eating all of senior class. "Well, I didn't send him there. We just told him where she was. She hasn't exactly been open with what's been going on since she got there. I've only had a message to say she got there and that's been it. Guess she's just been lost in the City of Love." He cleared his throat as he touched his finger to the crest for the Toreadors before he looked up at Airlie. "Do you... have... people just for that purpose?"
"Well, Rory hasnae said a lot, either, but that's Rory. He isnae a fan of text messaging. Hates voicemail, too. He'd rather write a letter." Airlie watched him looking at the crest of her clan, a perfect rose. She shook her head a little and then gave a nervous laugh. "Nay, of course not. Do I look like royalty? He's the Prince. He would have a hell of a lot of people wanting near him. Someone like me just has to... do what they can. It took me long enough to get used to feeding. It isnae like the movies. You dinnae just wake with a hunger for blood. Nay all Kindred like it, they just tolerate it until they get to a point that they know no else. We can eat, too. Food. Just have to get rid of it later. All for appearance purposes, you see. The older, more experienced would be able to keep it in their systems for hours. Someone like me, I dinnae even bother. A wee bit of alcohol I can cope with, but that's aboot it."
"Right, right... okay. Sure. Um, but... how does it work when you're involved with someone. How will the feeding work between us?" Xander asked as he tried to start wrapping his head around what it really meant to date a Kindred. He was also thinking about what it felt like to have Airlie feed on him. The first time he couldn't remember, but the second he did. He definitely did. It hadn't freaked him out as much as he thought it would, but then he figured it had a lot to do with the who, not the actual act. "I think Rory must be the only guy left that likes writing letters. Apart from, ah, well, royalty."
"Rory's an old school laddie. Traditional at heart. He's an artist, he does everything the long way. The right way, so to speak." Airlie cleared her throat, looking at him before she averted her eyes again. "Well, I... I dinnae really know. Not so much anyway. See, I was a Kindred's date, and look what happened. I'm not say saying that happens all the time. It doesnae. I guess it's just always one of those risks. Like unsafe sex. Some lovers dinnae mind being fed off, others dinnae like it and Kindred just find their sustenance elsewhere. You've got to know, that as easy as it seems to assume that feeding is the equivalent of sex, it isnae. It can make sex amazing, but it's really just the equivalent of eating a burger."
Xander scratched the back of his neck before he reached out for Airlie's hand and gave it a soft squeeze. "Well, this is the part where I'm honest and admit to liking it. I didn't think I would. I wasn't sure I would. But it's also part of who you are, a little more so than the vamps I'm used to dealing with. Like Angel. Buffy's ex. He was all with the pints of pig's blood. I guess that's like going vegetarian, right? So I'm okay with the risk."
Airlie bit down on her lower lip and a tiny frown appeared on her face. "I didnae mean to hurt you that night. I really didnae. It was the first time since... just, I got caught up," she said hastily, changing the route of her comment. "I cannae drink animal blood. I'm a Toredor. I'm nay confined to a single type of blood, but my tastes are refined. We view animals as a thing of nature, a thing of beauty. Nay to say that humans arenae, but as snobby as it sounds, I have a specific taste I prefer. I couldnae drink from a pig, even if I wanted to."
Xander smirked a little. "Well, at least that means I'm not a pig. Do I really fit your refined tastes?"
Airlie held his gaze intently and had to bite down a little more firmly on her lip. "More than you realise, laddie..." she told him. "Dinnae be selling yourself short so much."
Xander brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed the back of it as he smiled. "Modesty has always been one of my few virtues, believe it or not. And I still say there should be sex."
Airlie went to shake her head, but she stopped and pushed some of the red strands away that had flopped in her face. "Are you sure? How can you want that after what I did to you last time?"
Xander set the journal down before he tugged Airlie closer, or at least tried to. She might be all about looking human, but she was still strong and it only worked if she was willing. "Because you're still... young. That's the right word for it, isn't it? I know it's not your fault, Airlie. I just wish you'd let me remember, that you didn't have to feel so ashamed that you wiped my memory. And to be perfectly honest, and a complete guy about this - I just really want amazing sex with you that I can remember. And because I'm still human and this is how I express how much I like you. I won't pretend this won't freak me out a little bit sometimes, but I'm not giving you up."
"I dinnae want you to be scared," Airlie told him softly, still feeling ashamed over the whole thing. "And I cannae give back what I took. I wish I could. It was just that you were the first person I had any deep feelings for since this all happened, and I dinnae think I really knew how to control them. I didnae understand them. It felt a lot more intense an attraction than I ever felt before I was Kindred and the sensation threw me. It sparked the hunger in me, and that's what I couldnae control. I just panicked. It willnae happen again. Kindred all over the world make this work, so there has to be a way to learn how to work it."
"I'm not scared, I'm just trying to adjust. There's a small difference. And hey, how often do I get to offer myself up to some sexy Kindred chick covered in ducks as her personal learning aide?" Xander gave her a soft smile as he tucked some strands of red hair behind her ear and gave her a kiss. "If it makes you feel any better, it's been a long time since I've had deep feelings for someone. A really long time."
It was on the tip of Airlie's tongue to apologise for that, but she realised that she really wasn't sorry. She didn't want to be anyone's rebound. She didn't want Xander's heart to be pointing in any other direction. In fact, she probably couldn't bear being near him if it was. The jealousy would be too strong for her to overcome at this juncture of her Kindred life. She reached down to pick up one of the dog toys lying around and toss it up the hall. "Go get the ball, Willy," she told him, and then turned back to Xander with a smile before catching his lips in a kiss that she deepened in just moments of the connection.
Words: 5183
Oscar Wilde
Co-written with lyricalembrace
Airlie was sitting on Rory's bed in her duck pyjamas, red hair piled up in a messy ponytail on top of her head, and Wee Willy curled up in a ball in her lap as she watched reruns of Sex and the City on the crappy little TV at the end of the bed. She had been keenly interested in watching, until she realised that when she last watched it, she had been a normal human with normal feelings who could eat normal chocolate and have normal PMS that allowed her to commiserate and watch stupid TV shows like this. All it did was make her feel more depressed, and more hungry. She had shamefully resorted to feeding on the odd tourist in town to see the Palace, and only stuck to burly men who she could flirt with enough to get into her good graces and who looked like they could tolerate a bit of blood loss. She had been depressed before Rory even left for Paris, but had managed to fall into an even bigger funk without him around to commiserate. She damn well hoped the Slayer was in horrific and soul-ripping emotional distress, or Airlie would be even more pissed off at her for taking her best friend away from her.
She knew she wasn't really pissed off with Buffy, though. It was just projection because Buffy was Xander's friend, and Xander was... AWOL. MIA. All of those acronyms that meant buggered off into oblivion. She didn't know if she really had expected to hear from him after her revelation, but she had hoped she would. How could she really expect him to want to be with her, though? It was different for Buffy with Prince of Paris. Completely different. She was a Slayer, and she had frolicked romantically with vampires in the past. But Airlie had no right in asking Xander to be with her, no matter how attracted she had been to him. She should never have fed from him, either. Now she was just filled with bucketloads of guilt and regret. And she was lonely. Wee Willy was good company and he liked hugs, but he wasn't Rory and he wasn't anyone else. He was a puppy, who slept half the day away and farted on her when he got relaxed enough. Not all that unlike his owner, but at least Rory was a non-furry shoulder to cry on.
When Rory's doorbell rang, she seriously considered ignoring it. But then she got guilty that maybe it was a little granny with a flat tyre who might need help, or maybe the Salvation Army needing vital donations to save starving kids. Her conscience got the better of her, and she got up off the bed to go get the door, Wee Willy trotting behind her like the man of the house that he was. When she got to the door, though, he started barking loudly, running around in circles. "Ach, shut it, fur ball," she told him and held him back with her foot so he wouldn't launch himself at the visitor. But when she got the door open, she froze in shock, blinking. Xander. It was Xander, and she was in duck pyjamas. "I dinnae even like ducks much!" she blurted out.
"Really? Well, that's good since I was just standing here thinking that what I really needed to get you to express my feelings properly was a pet duck. It could have been really, really awkward though if you weren't into the whole idea of ducks though," Xander commented with a smile as he looked at Airlie. Personally he was finding the duck pyjamas cute and appealing. "I also just have to say that I meant to ring the bell a lot earlier. Like, maybe six hours earlier, but I couldn't get out of my car. See, I tend to suffer from foot in mouth and I didn't want to mess this up. I was going to show up with some amazing speech, or maybe just some suave Bond moves that would have you back in my arms without a second thought. But amazing speeches aren't me unless I'm having a supremely good day, or talking Willow out of destroying the world, and I'm not Bond. I'm me, and if you still want me... I definitely want you, Airlie. I like you a lot, and I'm sorry I'm late, but I just wanted to get this right."
Airlie gave a nervous laugh at his joking, but then she clamped her mouth shut, still fully aware she was standing there looking like a complete giant dork in duck pyjamas. She might be Kindred, but she hadn't quite been of their world long enough to get the cool, sexy mojo happening. When she was on stage and had her music, she could pull it off, but without it, when it was just her and nothing else, the sexy just seemed to want to bugger off. "I... I just... um..." she stammered and then reached up to try and comb her hair into a more attractive mess than it was with her fingers. It was more of a nervous gesture, though. She didn't want to believe what he was saying just to have him change his mind. "I just thought you'd been busy... showing lassies how to rid the world of evil... and all that. You probably dinnae even get a lunch break, like. Or annual leave. Maybe nay even superannuation..." She was rambling, and still sounding like a dork. "Or maybe went to Paris. Which is very far away from Scotland... Thought you came to your senses and realised I wasnae worth the hassle..." she finally admitted quietly.
Xander did actually manage to wait for her ramble to get to a finish. He couldn't deny he liked ramblers. A part of him was always going to be attracted to them, attracted to the talkers. He was also struggling to see Airlie as the scary vampire chick. Then again, he'd never thought of her as a scary vampire. He'd thought of her as beautiful and out of his reach. Even now he wasn't sure why she'd want him, but it could work. He was never going to be able to love a 'normal' girl. He was the demon magnet. He was Xander Harris. And he stepped across the threshold of Rory's front door to cup Airlie's face in his hands and kiss her. "I'm not good enough for Paris. For whatever Buffy's doing. But if I'm good enough for you, then I'm in this. I'm in this all the way... and god, you really are beautiful. Even covered in ducks."
"I-I-I... I only got the ducks because there were nay sheep left," Airlie offered, feeling a little dizzy in the wake of the kiss. She looked over his face and then at his lips, and found that this time she was managing to fight off the urge to take it further. She was just completely wrapped up in the fact he was even here and he didn't hate her. At least, it didn't sound like he hated her, and people didn't kiss people they hated like that, right? "Paris isnae good enough for you," she added and wet her lips as she continued to look up at him in awe. Then, after a moment, she couldn't resist pinching his upper arm to make sure he was actually real.
"Hey!" Xander protested as he had to pull back to rub his arm. "I'm still delicate, you know. I'm not a Slayer, or anything special. I just have normal muscles, and normal skin. I bruise easy." He cracked a smile though and brushed his lips against the corner of hers before he pulled her into an embrace. "I really am sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I know it wasn't ideal. I was just a little busy with the... ah, murderers. Buffy was rethinking things before she disappeared. I think she's having magic regret. Only reversing this isn't as easy as returning a pair of shoes that don't fit."
Airlie rested her tongue between her lips sheepishly and then buried her face into his shoulder, drawing in his familiar scent. She hadn't forgotten it. It had plagued her in his absence, made her feel like she was hurting from the inside out. She hadn't claimed him, or marked him, or anything like that. She had just fallen for him, plain and simple, in the plain and simple way. "I'm sorry I called them murderers. Okay, nay really, but I'm sorry I hurt you when I called them murderers. You cannae blame magic when hearts are involved, and you cannae just reverse how a heart feels using magic, either. You can try, but it'll always come back and bite you firmly on the arse. I havenae heard so much aboot how Rory's going in Paris. He just mentioned GI Joe and accidental drunk sex."
"GI Joe?" Xander frowned as he tried to work out what an action figure had to do with anything before the penny dropped and he made a noise. "Oh. Oh. Riley Finn. Yeah, I guess he's GI Joe. Only less with the stiff legs and abnormally muscular arms. And as far as I'm aware he's anatomically correct, but I've only ever had Buffy's word on that I swear. So there was some drunken sex with Rory and Riley? There's... wow. I guess Paris really does make you want to do things differently." He rubbed his hand against Airlie's back and just took comfort in the fact she was in his arms again. He really had missed her. "Well, Buffy's heart isn't in her decision to jump start every Potential into Slayerhood. She's been pretty quick to wash her hands of them... Of us. Guess I can't really blame her. Suddenly the Mom and Pop Slayer business went even more global."
"Who's Riley Finn? See, I didnae get details. I just assumed it was Rory having accidental sex, but I didnae think it was with Buffy. Wasnae she going there for Blaise? I dinnae get it, I really dinnae. You know more than I do, and I want details. Getting them oot of Rory is like getting a chicken to turn into a duck on command. What makes you think Buffy would be having sex with Rory and the soldier guy? He is a soldier, right?" Airlie pulled back a little so she could see Xander's face and blinked in surprise. "She's gone to Paris for good? Why... are you sure? Why would she wash her hands of her best friends?"
Xander shut the door as he shuffled the two of them further into the house. "Blaise is the mysterious French dude, right? See, that part I don't know so much about. I know she was all stuck on the mysterious and the accent. But then she liked Rory's accent too, and at one point even he was mysterious until she saved his ass. She hasn't gone for good, she just doesn't seem to want to have anything to do with the Slayerettes. Which is fair enough, I guess. I mean, who would want to be the leader of a bunch of murderers. And yeah, you did really hurt me with that one. Only I do understand your point. I don't want you to think I don't. I thought maybe Buffy was having sex with the Frenchman and Rory and Riley were doing each other. But then I was only half listening since my mind just went to you and me having sex," Xander revealed sheepishly. "Riley's Buffy's ex. He's a soldier, and he could have been a great love but she just didn't want to let herself fall for him."
Airlie was looking up at him, her mouth hanging open. "You dinnae know anything about Blaise? Anything at all?" she repeated and then put her fingers up to her lips, wondering if it was actually her place to say anything. Why hadn't Buffy told her friends? Maybe she was just ashamed to have been involved with Kindred in any way, and now Xander was here. Would Xander change his mind if Buffy disapproved? But she waved her hands. "No... no, no, no. Rory's straight as an arrow. Has been his whole life. Nay even any hint of bicuriousity ever. He's a boob laddie, through and through. Sex? You want us to have sex together after what I... after last time?" She took his hand and dragged him into the living room. "I think you need to sit doon. If Buffy's slept with Rory or her ex, and she has been, um, getting involved with Blaise along the lines, she could be over there getting herself into a lot of mess."
Xander frowned as he watched Airlie. "What kind of mess? Because usually when she gets into a mess the world's either about to end, or there's hearts involved. Sometimes both. And okay, there were always gonna be hearts involved because hey - Frenchman. Only I'm getting the feeling now that you know more than I do, and I'm not sure if that's a good thing, or not."
Airlie sat down on the sofa and pulled Xander down next to her. "Do you know anything aboot Kindred beyond the fact I'm one? Anything at all?" she asked, her green eyes holding his gaze intently. She glanced around, knowing Rory had been doing research. Even moreso lately with Blaise involved. There was Kindred information around here from when Airlie's Sire had been teaching Rory. She just wouldn't even know where to find it.
Xander gave a shake of his head as he continued to watch her with his one eye. "No, nothing. You're my first and only source. It was a wake up call and everything, but still completely clueless here. Am I supposed to know more?"
Airlie scratched her head roughly, scrunching her nose up a little. "Well, aye... it would be less painful for me to have to explain it all. Just... I cannae promise I willnae do it withoot bawling, and trust me, when I cry, it isnae pretty. I've ruined more of Rory's clothes than I care to admit." She got up off the sofa and started trawling through Rory's bookshelf. There had to be something here, some sort of of book she could give Xander to at least know more. Until she froze, turning back to him and held up her hands. "Wait. You cannae tell any Slayers or anyone linked to Slayers any of what I tell you. You cannae. It's The Masquerade. It's our very essence. Buffy already probably knows too much, but her source of information calls the shots, so to speak."
"Buffy knows? But I didn't even talk to her about you!" Xander squeaked as he held his hands up. "I promised you because you made me promise. So unless Rory's the one breaking your silence, I didn't breathe a word. It's why it's taken me so long to get my thoughts straight. I'm a talker, I always have been. I need to be able to talk and ramble and listen to the sound of my own voice sometimes before I can decide anything. Even what boxers to put on. I haven't said a word so far, I'm not about to start."
Airlie stood there ringing her hands, already close to tears. "I dinnae really know how to explain it all properly. I mean, I dinnae know so much myself, just what I've learnt to survive, but I know enough. Buffy knows because... because... Blaise. He's Kindred. But he's nay just any Kindred. He's the Prince of the City. Which is kind of a skewed titled, because he's actually the Prince of all of France. It's just a fancy way of saying he bases in Paris. Which is gonna sound fucked up to you just thrown at you like that. Um... Kindred, we're like a whole race of our own. We exist among humans, and masquerade like humans to survive, but we still live in our own world. We have Clans, just like the Scots here. Clans are different bloodlines. You have the whole of Kindred, and then within that, different bloodlines. Different types of Kindred with different traits. Like, I'm what they call Toreador. Sort of the arty snobs of the bunch, to be blunt. Fuck... Rory has information!" she cried and stooped down, reaching behind the back shelf of the booksheld to where she knew he kept his x-rated porn. After dragging out a few highly questionable DVDs, she pulled out a journal that had all of Rory's notes on Kindred. "Oh thank fuck!" She did a small happy dance and then brought it back over to Xander, trying to ignore the fact he was gaping stupidly at her. "Each large city and country has a Prince. It could be male or female, but it is a Kindred who is usually very old and very experienced, who have worked their way up to the position. They rule above all else within the country, and they control the Clans, keep peace in the country amongst the Kindred and ensure the Masquerade is respected. They're literally royalty."
Xander was still gaping at her, but after a moment he just gaped at the journal that was suddenly in his lap. "Buffy's boinking Kindred royalty? I don't... I don't even know how to begin to process that. As if two vampires wasn't enough. And I really didn't mean that because I know you're Kindred, and I'm not changing my mind and you're amazing, and I mentioned beautiful, right? I didn't mean it like that. I just meant... Okay, I don't know what I mean anymore. Maybe just that they really are Buffy's type, and for once I think maybe I get it." Xander wet his lips and resisted the urge to scratch at the scar tissue under his eye patch. "Now I get why she hasn't told me much about the guy. She would have been sworn to secrecy too, right? Only allowed to talk to the ones that already know. Like Rory." Xander snorted as he flicked the pages of the journal. "She's not coming back."
"No... I... I dinnae think it's as simple as bonking Kindred royalty. Blaise Richelieu is... well, he's almost like a myth. I mean, people know he exists, and he's so fecking old. But I dinnae think he is just going to let Buffy into his world, let alone his bed, without there being some sort of trust happening there. And trust doesnae happen overnight, like. It never does. There's also the fact he isnae just Kindred royalty. He's royalty royalty. Like, he was the son of a French King hundreds of years ago. That's when he was embraced. The history books just say he went missing on a hunt, thought to be taken by wolves. Ironic, really. Some Kindred have the ability to turn into wolves. White wolves. Some of the more stronger ones can even go oot in the sun in that form. I dinnae doubt she has been sworn to secrecy, especially from you guys, who are, you know... army of murderers. I'm sorry! But it's true. Only, you lot arenae exactly honing in the right skills to take us doon. That's all I'm gonna say on that matter. You can see why I'm confused aboot the GI Joe involvement. If she has gone to be with Blaise, why is she sleeping with her ex? Or with Rory? If she even is. I'm confused now." Airlie looked over Rory's neat writing, complete with diagrams of the Kindred Clan symbols. She pointed to the info about Ventrue. "That's what he is."
Xander flinched at the description of the Slayerettes again, his lips pressing together as he bit back an argument. He didn't want to argue with Airlie. It was another part of why it had taken him so long to come back to her. He didn't have the energy to argue over the purpose of the Slayerettes. Airlie was never going to see them as anything else but murderers and it hurt. He gripped the journal tightly for a moment as he stared down at Rory's handwriting, but nothing was being absorbed. Only Airlie's voice. "He's genuine royalty. Huh. That would definitely explain the diamonds. Buffy said he was a businessman. I'm sure she said he was a businessman. This Masquerade stuff is pretty full on, isn't it? It's like deep, deep undercover. Riley came here to see Buffy, but she was already in Paris. Me and Will told him where to find her. I can't deny I was a little overjoyed the big man was looking for Buffy. I've always been Team Riley. I don't know this French dude. But if he hurts Buffy I'll just have to write a really, really angry letter. I'm not stupid enough to try and attack Kindred royalty." Xander looked at the diagram and squinted with his good eye as he tried his best to focus. "Ventrue? So he's like... oh, okay. That explains the businessman thing. They only drink one kind of blood?"
"He is a businessman. He owns some huge company in France, which is a real company, but also operates as a mask. Like everything else. It's nay really undercover, it's just... concealed. Like, my Sire. He's a rockstar. Famous. No one listens to his music and thinks, hey bloodsucker. We do what we can to survive. We remain as normal as we can be, but not masquerade and no masks can remove the fact we need blood to survive. We're not immortal, we can still love and be loved. We just have secrets. I havenae even scratched the surface with what you could know about Kindred. You can read Rory's journal, but I cannae let you take it away. It cannae fall into the wrong hands. Apparently, so far, other than Buffy, Slayers or Slayer lore have no knowledge of Kindred. We want it to stay that way. So, you, um... you sent this soldier laddie to see Buffy, even though Buffy was over there chasing another laddie?" She pulled a face slightly and glanced at him. "Awkward. Someone's gonna really get hurt, aye. Ventrue are basically the most powerful clan. Businessmen, tycoons. The rich and powerful. Nay all of them can only drink one sort of blood, but a lot of the more refined ones do. I dinnae mind for sure, but Rory indicated Blaise was one of them. Can only drink from people who have experience real, true love apparently. If they havenae, he'll pretty much reject the blood straight away. But he's the Prince. He willnae be short of people wanting to let him feed on them. He probably has people just for that purpose."
Xander slumped back against the sofa cushions as he just tried to process everything that Airlie was telling him, but he was aware it suddenly seemed bigger than he could manage. He missed the days of getting Monsters of the Week, and Big Bads with humble aims like becoming a giant snake and eating all of senior class. "Well, I didn't send him there. We just told him where she was. She hasn't exactly been open with what's been going on since she got there. I've only had a message to say she got there and that's been it. Guess she's just been lost in the City of Love." He cleared his throat as he touched his finger to the crest for the Toreadors before he looked up at Airlie. "Do you... have... people just for that purpose?"
"Well, Rory hasnae said a lot, either, but that's Rory. He isnae a fan of text messaging. Hates voicemail, too. He'd rather write a letter." Airlie watched him looking at the crest of her clan, a perfect rose. She shook her head a little and then gave a nervous laugh. "Nay, of course not. Do I look like royalty? He's the Prince. He would have a hell of a lot of people wanting near him. Someone like me just has to... do what they can. It took me long enough to get used to feeding. It isnae like the movies. You dinnae just wake with a hunger for blood. Nay all Kindred like it, they just tolerate it until they get to a point that they know no else. We can eat, too. Food. Just have to get rid of it later. All for appearance purposes, you see. The older, more experienced would be able to keep it in their systems for hours. Someone like me, I dinnae even bother. A wee bit of alcohol I can cope with, but that's aboot it."
"Right, right... okay. Sure. Um, but... how does it work when you're involved with someone. How will the feeding work between us?" Xander asked as he tried to start wrapping his head around what it really meant to date a Kindred. He was also thinking about what it felt like to have Airlie feed on him. The first time he couldn't remember, but the second he did. He definitely did. It hadn't freaked him out as much as he thought it would, but then he figured it had a lot to do with the who, not the actual act. "I think Rory must be the only guy left that likes writing letters. Apart from, ah, well, royalty."
"Rory's an old school laddie. Traditional at heart. He's an artist, he does everything the long way. The right way, so to speak." Airlie cleared her throat, looking at him before she averted her eyes again. "Well, I... I dinnae really know. Not so much anyway. See, I was a Kindred's date, and look what happened. I'm not say saying that happens all the time. It doesnae. I guess it's just always one of those risks. Like unsafe sex. Some lovers dinnae mind being fed off, others dinnae like it and Kindred just find their sustenance elsewhere. You've got to know, that as easy as it seems to assume that feeding is the equivalent of sex, it isnae. It can make sex amazing, but it's really just the equivalent of eating a burger."
Xander scratched the back of his neck before he reached out for Airlie's hand and gave it a soft squeeze. "Well, this is the part where I'm honest and admit to liking it. I didn't think I would. I wasn't sure I would. But it's also part of who you are, a little more so than the vamps I'm used to dealing with. Like Angel. Buffy's ex. He was all with the pints of pig's blood. I guess that's like going vegetarian, right? So I'm okay with the risk."
Airlie bit down on her lower lip and a tiny frown appeared on her face. "I didnae mean to hurt you that night. I really didnae. It was the first time since... just, I got caught up," she said hastily, changing the route of her comment. "I cannae drink animal blood. I'm a Toredor. I'm nay confined to a single type of blood, but my tastes are refined. We view animals as a thing of nature, a thing of beauty. Nay to say that humans arenae, but as snobby as it sounds, I have a specific taste I prefer. I couldnae drink from a pig, even if I wanted to."
Xander smirked a little. "Well, at least that means I'm not a pig. Do I really fit your refined tastes?"
Airlie held his gaze intently and had to bite down a little more firmly on her lip. "More than you realise, laddie..." she told him. "Dinnae be selling yourself short so much."
Xander brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed the back of it as he smiled. "Modesty has always been one of my few virtues, believe it or not. And I still say there should be sex."
Airlie went to shake her head, but she stopped and pushed some of the red strands away that had flopped in her face. "Are you sure? How can you want that after what I did to you last time?"
Xander set the journal down before he tugged Airlie closer, or at least tried to. She might be all about looking human, but she was still strong and it only worked if she was willing. "Because you're still... young. That's the right word for it, isn't it? I know it's not your fault, Airlie. I just wish you'd let me remember, that you didn't have to feel so ashamed that you wiped my memory. And to be perfectly honest, and a complete guy about this - I just really want amazing sex with you that I can remember. And because I'm still human and this is how I express how much I like you. I won't pretend this won't freak me out a little bit sometimes, but I'm not giving you up."
"I dinnae want you to be scared," Airlie told him softly, still feeling ashamed over the whole thing. "And I cannae give back what I took. I wish I could. It was just that you were the first person I had any deep feelings for since this all happened, and I dinnae think I really knew how to control them. I didnae understand them. It felt a lot more intense an attraction than I ever felt before I was Kindred and the sensation threw me. It sparked the hunger in me, and that's what I couldnae control. I just panicked. It willnae happen again. Kindred all over the world make this work, so there has to be a way to learn how to work it."
"I'm not scared, I'm just trying to adjust. There's a small difference. And hey, how often do I get to offer myself up to some sexy Kindred chick covered in ducks as her personal learning aide?" Xander gave her a soft smile as he tucked some strands of red hair behind her ear and gave her a kiss. "If it makes you feel any better, it's been a long time since I've had deep feelings for someone. A really long time."
It was on the tip of Airlie's tongue to apologise for that, but she realised that she really wasn't sorry. She didn't want to be anyone's rebound. She didn't want Xander's heart to be pointing in any other direction. In fact, she probably couldn't bear being near him if it was. The jealousy would be too strong for her to overcome at this juncture of her Kindred life. She reached down to pick up one of the dog toys lying around and toss it up the hall. "Go get the ball, Willy," she told him, and then turned back to Xander with a smile before catching his lips in a kiss that she deepened in just moments of the connection.
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