and all i can see is the spanish channel
it's like i've come out of a cave, and now i have no idea where i am.
that's a horrible analogy, but i'm just so lost right now. there's nothing to do but sketch and watch the spanish channel. i can understand most of it. but the line between understanding and fully comprehending must be interrupted somewhere. before this entry, i looked at my archives and realized that i had only written here twice in the entire month of january. i've just been so stressed out. but now it's all over. until next week, that is.
i should be practicing for finals, but i don't want to. why do i not care? i usually care a lot.
i should be sketching a lot, but every time i sketch, it's just so impossible and everything looks horrible. i guess i got to the point in about october when i sketched every day, and got really good. did i think i could retain that? i haven't sketched for about two months, and that's unfortunate. here it is, three weeks before my potential second sota interview, and i have to pump out at least six sketches. detailed ones. and i just can't.
i'm making this way too hard for myself. and the only way to solve it is, in fact, to practice and get some of the skills back. and so i did tonight, which was pretty fun. it's interesting how much i enjoy things that are far too difficult for me. i guess that's a good thing. today julia asked why i hated wilson. i said classes, people, teachers, the usual. she said "but this class is SO easy!" we were sitting in english, at the end of our ADJECTIVE test. adjectives...seriously. and i said "exactly. that's what i hate."
everyone looks kind of puzzled when i say that, but i feel like a vegetable at wilson. art challenges me majorly, and makes me very mad sometimes, but for some reason, i love it so much. i guess some people have sports or music or writing or singing or smashing to let out their feelings. but i pick up a pair of scissors (NO, not to cut myself) or a pencil. that sounds wierd. i just like it. and i want to pursue it. i hope they know that.
that's a horrible analogy, but i'm just so lost right now. there's nothing to do but sketch and watch the spanish channel. i can understand most of it. but the line between understanding and fully comprehending must be interrupted somewhere. before this entry, i looked at my archives and realized that i had only written here twice in the entire month of january. i've just been so stressed out. but now it's all over. until next week, that is.
i should be practicing for finals, but i don't want to. why do i not care? i usually care a lot.
i should be sketching a lot, but every time i sketch, it's just so impossible and everything looks horrible. i guess i got to the point in about october when i sketched every day, and got really good. did i think i could retain that? i haven't sketched for about two months, and that's unfortunate. here it is, three weeks before my potential second sota interview, and i have to pump out at least six sketches. detailed ones. and i just can't.
i'm making this way too hard for myself. and the only way to solve it is, in fact, to practice and get some of the skills back. and so i did tonight, which was pretty fun. it's interesting how much i enjoy things that are far too difficult for me. i guess that's a good thing. today julia asked why i hated wilson. i said classes, people, teachers, the usual. she said "but this class is SO easy!" we were sitting in english, at the end of our ADJECTIVE test. adjectives...seriously. and i said "exactly. that's what i hate."
everyone looks kind of puzzled when i say that, but i feel like a vegetable at wilson. art challenges me majorly, and makes me very mad sometimes, but for some reason, i love it so much. i guess some people have sports or music or writing or singing or smashing to let out their feelings. but i pick up a pair of scissors (NO, not to cut myself) or a pencil. that sounds wierd. i just like it. and i want to pursue it. i hope they know that.