ug
grrr i hate sitting at home. fun night though i FINALLY saw the movie "closer" which was really good. Kind of depressing, but good. Dylan came and watched it with me - good times there. God natalie portman is so amazing. i know alex has already mentioned her in her journal, but i must comment on her once again. she is gorgeous and talented and just impresses me so much. I wish i could work with her. Had a really good spring break - i finally got a car! yay! its in the shop though but i'll get it back soon. such a good spring break. now i cant wait for the summer, especially rueben's party! the only thing that i wish i had now was motivation. for some reason, the only times im truly motivated to do something is when there's not an oppurtunity to do it. like writing for instance i have these great idea for full length screenplays, and short stories to post on Fan Fiction, and yet i can never bring myself to actually write them! But when im about to go to sleep or something like that ill get all geared up to write. its really frustrating. also, i want to get a contract with a new agency but i cant get up the motivation to just dress up and drive over on the open call tuesdays that the agency i want to sign with has. grrr....i hate hate hate this about myself. and its not just something i can stop. its the same with school, ect. if i only fucking tried harder i could get such good grades. i would be into Cali state northridge and id be set.