Jys does a passable impression of a reasonable adult
As often happens when I'm stressed and anxious, I didn't sleep. In this case, I didn't sleep for about 35 hours, took a nap, ended up missing section and waking up fifteen minutes before my class started. Apparently section was a solid hour of people arguing about Libya, including someone shouting "ALL NGOS ARE USELESS," so maybe it's just as well that I wasn't there, or things might have been interesting.
Uhh... beyond that, I have two papers, a paper proposal to write, and a midterm to study for. Also, it's now Thursday AM and I forgot to post on the religion message boards. *epic headdesk* Oh bloody well. Usually I'm okay with the daily academic grind and only chafing when I have big assignments due, but lately I've just been yearning for it to be break week. Gotta do things other than school tomorrow, too - there's a bakery hiring, and I want to get my application in before it's too late. It's somewhere where I would actually like to work. Also, MONEY. *_*
I've been going through, like, pet withdrawal, despite living with a cat. I spent a lot of time on PetFinder the other day trying to figure out how many of the animals I could make cohabit at once. I find the idea of owning a snake - say, a ball python - appealing, but those things are lifetime investments. They live about 30 years, and so not only would I have to be pretty sure I could take care of the animal properly for that long, it would also mean that Hypothetical Future Partner would have to be cool with it. And lots of people are snake-phobic (not that I blame them). Turtles pose the same problems, sans phobia. I honestly don't want to live with a cat long-term. They're very nice animals, and I definitely appreciate being able to cuddle Whisper when I feel the need, but they just don't give me the joy that dogs do. I would spend the whole time thinking it's okay, but it could be a bit better. There was a totally adorable elderly Aussie and a young Dachshund up for adoption in the area which I thought might be able to get along based on their profiles. See, this is why I need to own my own house - I want dogs. Lots of dogs.
I just feel so burned out, worried, sick. The Registrar hasn't written me anything regarding my reapplication. I have this horrible sinking feeling that this means something has gone wrong with it, but I'm too scared and stressed to summon the spoons to find out. Earlier today I freaked out a bit because the possibility that I might not get automatically accepted into the degree program should I have to stay here had not occurred to me. I've been driving myself forward in steps going, "I'll do A, if A doesn't work I'll do B, if B doesn't work I'll do C," but the idea that there are contingency plans and that it will all work out in the end is what keeps me going. The idea that I might not end up being a total fuck-up. And that I might end up trapped without any other alternatives... scares me. I just don't want to get into a situation where it would be easy to see actually giving up again as a viable option. Because I'd do what I had to to keep myself safe, but it wouldn't be fun. I hate not knowing where I'll be in six months. It's not the exciting kind of trying to figure out which direction you'll go in. It's just that I literally have no idea what I'll be doing.
Oh well. If school doesn't work out, I suppose there's always this.
Your result for Obsidian Order Entrance Test...
Order Neophyte
20 Suitability!
Maybe you don't have what it takes for the Obsidian Order. Maybe you're just not ruthless enough.
Or maybe you're still learning, and you'll improve with time and experience. If you're careful, you may survive long enough to become more skilled.
Remember, it's for Cardassia.
Take Obsidian Order Entrance Test at HelloQuizzy
XD
I also have a roommate who will sing "Cool, Considerate Men" in bombastic tones with me at strange hours of the night. And that's pretty great. :D
Uhh... beyond that, I have two papers, a paper proposal to write, and a midterm to study for. Also, it's now Thursday AM and I forgot to post on the religion message boards. *epic headdesk* Oh bloody well. Usually I'm okay with the daily academic grind and only chafing when I have big assignments due, but lately I've just been yearning for it to be break week. Gotta do things other than school tomorrow, too - there's a bakery hiring, and I want to get my application in before it's too late. It's somewhere where I would actually like to work. Also, MONEY. *_*
I've been going through, like, pet withdrawal, despite living with a cat. I spent a lot of time on PetFinder the other day trying to figure out how many of the animals I could make cohabit at once. I find the idea of owning a snake - say, a ball python - appealing, but those things are lifetime investments. They live about 30 years, and so not only would I have to be pretty sure I could take care of the animal properly for that long, it would also mean that Hypothetical Future Partner would have to be cool with it. And lots of people are snake-phobic (not that I blame them). Turtles pose the same problems, sans phobia. I honestly don't want to live with a cat long-term. They're very nice animals, and I definitely appreciate being able to cuddle Whisper when I feel the need, but they just don't give me the joy that dogs do. I would spend the whole time thinking it's okay, but it could be a bit better. There was a totally adorable elderly Aussie and a young Dachshund up for adoption in the area which I thought might be able to get along based on their profiles. See, this is why I need to own my own house - I want dogs. Lots of dogs.
I just feel so burned out, worried, sick. The Registrar hasn't written me anything regarding my reapplication. I have this horrible sinking feeling that this means something has gone wrong with it, but I'm too scared and stressed to summon the spoons to find out. Earlier today I freaked out a bit because the possibility that I might not get automatically accepted into the degree program should I have to stay here had not occurred to me. I've been driving myself forward in steps going, "I'll do A, if A doesn't work I'll do B, if B doesn't work I'll do C," but the idea that there are contingency plans and that it will all work out in the end is what keeps me going. The idea that I might not end up being a total fuck-up. And that I might end up trapped without any other alternatives... scares me. I just don't want to get into a situation where it would be easy to see actually giving up again as a viable option. Because I'd do what I had to to keep myself safe, but it wouldn't be fun. I hate not knowing where I'll be in six months. It's not the exciting kind of trying to figure out which direction you'll go in. It's just that I literally have no idea what I'll be doing.
Oh well. If school doesn't work out, I suppose there's always this.
Your result for Obsidian Order Entrance Test...
Order Neophyte
20 Suitability!
Maybe you don't have what it takes for the Obsidian Order. Maybe you're just not ruthless enough.
Or maybe you're still learning, and you'll improve with time and experience. If you're careful, you may survive long enough to become more skilled.
Remember, it's for Cardassia.
Take Obsidian Order Entrance Test at HelloQuizzy
XD
I also have a roommate who will sing "Cool, Considerate Men" in bombastic tones with me at strange hours of the night. And that's pretty great. :D