In which Jys vies for the title of Deadpan Snarker

[actourdreams]

I was over at my parents' neighbors' dropping off something, and ran into the daughter of a friend of theirs, who I'd seen a bit when I was younger, but hadn't in a few years

Comments

[outsidetheedges]

Your appearance discussion here is really interesting to me because one of the things I've noted about being more comfortable with myself has a lot to do with bizarre bits of dress and appearance. I have shifted around a lot in my looks in the last few years - due to questions about representation of sexuality and because of side effects and mental health issues. I decided I wanted to "look more queer" (which I understood as androgynous/butch). Then I gained 15 pounds from my antipsychotics. Then I lost them. Then I decided that really I was naturally more of a femme. I grew my hair. I stopped dying it. I've ended up in a place where my clothing and appearance is a lot more like when I was 12, except maybe a little more pulled together. But it has always involved a lot of wacky combinations, bright colors, or default t-shirts and jeans. Because those are the things that make me feel most "me." My long hair is a part of me. So are my pink high-tops and striped t-shirts. That's me. That's when I look in the mirror and recognize myself. It's weird how this works.

[actourdreams]

I don't know if I was setting out to look queer, but I do know that I code as such, at least to myself. And apparently to old acquaintances. I'm still doing the thing where I look in the mirror and go "Oh hey! That girl, she's me!", which is mostly from having my hair shorter than it has ever been since I was a baby. But I like that girl, so maybe we'll stick together? But I know what you mean about recognizing yourself in the mirror. I've gone through stages of that, and then stages of not, but it's always terribly rewarding to see a reflection and go, "Oh hey, it's me."