I wanna be running, when the sands runs out...

[activex13]

Im gonna take a this back to a bit of a more personal note instead of the usual stuff. This morning one of my grandmother's passed away. It was my dad's mom. Her name was Josefina, or Finita or Abuela Pipa (cause thats what my brother called her when he was a baby). She has been in a pretty bad state for a while already, and it was really starting to take it's toll on my dad and uncle. I witnessed firsthand how frustrating and complicated and silently heartwrenching it is seeing someone you love deteriorate every year and morph from the image you know into something barely recognizable. My dad has been really strong throughout it all, I mean we have lost both of my grandfathers already, but thier death was so much quicker. My grandmother hadbeen slowly dieing every year. I didnt go to the hospital to visit her, mostly because of the fact that she was in such bad shape she was barely awake and when she was only recognized my parents and uncle/aunt. She didnt recognize any of the grand kids, and from what my mom tells me she looked worse and worse everyday. I feel selfish now for not going, but understand that the reason i didnt go is because ive been seeing the image of that grandmother diminish every year, i didnt want it to go beyond what i had already seen. I prayed for her, not necessarily to live, but to find peace. She has struggled too much. One of the things my dad has taught me during this time, has been to appreciate the importance of the good years and to appreciate the quality of life, before we reach the point when we the quality of life and living no longer match. I hadnt shed a tear until today, and it was mostly because i was sad that she spent so many years in such bad shape, but im sure she was plenty grateful for them. I mean she even got to seemy cousin's daughter,brianna who is beautiful btw, i know that made her happy. Well the point of the post is that situations like these remind me why i enjoy making mistakes and taking risks, LIFE really is the longest and shortest thing we will ever have and I want to be able to say that i have really lived it. That is why im the kind of person who will not base happiness on money or convienience. I value my happiness in the things ive learned and experienced. Taking a chance is one of the most amazing things anyone can do, and so many people fear it. I wont be one of them.

Ill miss you Pipa but i know your with Abuelo Cecilio and finally resting.

Thanks for reading this if you did.