WOAH!
10 years, 10 frigging years. Wow that went fast, it feels like I'm still diddy reading postman pat and being force fed milk and biscuits. I'm slightly reluctant to have my own life, cause thats what this is, we are now officially human beings. I kindda like the security of having everything served to you on a platter. Och well here goes I suppose. This is really a start not an end, start of life. But one of the other things I've realised is We've already lived like and sixth of our lives and that is if we live till ninety. God i feel like I'm having a mid-life crisis and I'm only 16. Am I meant to buy a ferrari now or get a hairpiece.
I almost feel guilty that I'm so excited about London, because at the same time I feel like when I go to London my life is going to crash around me, and I'm going to have to build a new one from scratch. From the foundations up, a new personality, friends, crushes, loves, hates, well everything. What worries me most is, I'm going to make new friends, your all going to make new friends, and on weekends when I come home, what if you don't want to hang out anymore? What if I come home and I'm lonely like I was in year nine. I don't want to be lonely again, I fucking hated that, I sometime used to wish that I hadn't been born and I'm not joking. I seem like such a happy person now. But i didn't used to be, i really didn't. I used to cry lots and I mean LOTS. I want to keep being happy and part of me says that I will but then the nagging part of me thinks, I'm not capable of making new friends, it took me 8 years to make you guys.
Well I think the song Kezz sent me pretty much sums it up right now.
BIG CITY DREAMS- NEVERSHOUTNEVER
You say we're both little people and you like it that way
But in time I'm gunna put this body to shame (and grow old)
Where a suit like my old man
Pack up all my things and get my tail out of town
We've got it good
Whether you like this town or not
I know it's small but with a big head
it's bound to get hot
In the summer
But the summer is a bummer
If you can't leave
This pathetic excuse for a town
That holds all your memories
A lifetime of crushes and your broken dreams
To be anywhere but here
But baby anywhere is away from me
If you got it all figured out
Then what is there to shout about
This midwest town is gunna miss you
Just go ahead and work it out
But first come on and let it out
Scream it shout tell everbody how your gunna leave
In about one year you'll have it all figured out
These big city dream are what you're about
Walking like stangers among these states
Only time will tell how long I can wait
We've got it good
Whether you like this town or not
I know it's small but with a big head
it's bound to get hot
In the summer
But the summer is a bummer
If you can't leave
This pathetic excuse for a town
That holds all your memories
A lifetime of crushes and your broken dreams
To be anywhere but here
But baby anywhere is away from me
If you got it all figured out
Then what is there to shout about
This midwest town is gunna miss you
Just go ahead and work it out
But first come on and let it out
Scream it shout tell everbody how your gunna leave
Me again oh so casually
Did you take the hit for me or the home team
If you got it all figured out
Then what is there to shout about
This midwest town is gunna miss you
So anyway here's to life and feeling insecure and memories and friendship and and and...
5 more sixths to enjoy and conquer. I love you guys.
LUV x
I almost feel guilty that I'm so excited about London, because at the same time I feel like when I go to London my life is going to crash around me, and I'm going to have to build a new one from scratch. From the foundations up, a new personality, friends, crushes, loves, hates, well everything. What worries me most is, I'm going to make new friends, your all going to make new friends, and on weekends when I come home, what if you don't want to hang out anymore? What if I come home and I'm lonely like I was in year nine. I don't want to be lonely again, I fucking hated that, I sometime used to wish that I hadn't been born and I'm not joking. I seem like such a happy person now. But i didn't used to be, i really didn't. I used to cry lots and I mean LOTS. I want to keep being happy and part of me says that I will but then the nagging part of me thinks, I'm not capable of making new friends, it took me 8 years to make you guys.
Well I think the song Kezz sent me pretty much sums it up right now.
BIG CITY DREAMS- NEVERSHOUTNEVER
You say we're both little people and you like it that way
But in time I'm gunna put this body to shame (and grow old)
Where a suit like my old man
Pack up all my things and get my tail out of town
We've got it good
Whether you like this town or not
I know it's small but with a big head
it's bound to get hot
In the summer
But the summer is a bummer
If you can't leave
This pathetic excuse for a town
That holds all your memories
A lifetime of crushes and your broken dreams
To be anywhere but here
But baby anywhere is away from me
If you got it all figured out
Then what is there to shout about
This midwest town is gunna miss you
Just go ahead and work it out
But first come on and let it out
Scream it shout tell everbody how your gunna leave
In about one year you'll have it all figured out
These big city dream are what you're about
Walking like stangers among these states
Only time will tell how long I can wait
We've got it good
Whether you like this town or not
I know it's small but with a big head
it's bound to get hot
In the summer
But the summer is a bummer
If you can't leave
This pathetic excuse for a town
That holds all your memories
A lifetime of crushes and your broken dreams
To be anywhere but here
But baby anywhere is away from me
If you got it all figured out
Then what is there to shout about
This midwest town is gunna miss you
Just go ahead and work it out
But first come on and let it out
Scream it shout tell everbody how your gunna leave
Me again oh so casually
Did you take the hit for me or the home team
If you got it all figured out
Then what is there to shout about
This midwest town is gunna miss you
So anyway here's to life and feeling insecure and memories and friendship and and and...
5 more sixths to enjoy and conquer. I love you guys.
LUV x