True Tales from Target

[actionfiasco]

Stories about Josh, the creepy guy I work with, are coming. They will be good and plentiful, but I'm saving them.

For now, I want to talk about Asad. Asad looks like this.



He is a skinny 17 year-old arab kid. He told me that his goal is to get fired. I think he is absolutely hilarious - here's my list of stuff for him.

• Whenever I check out a fat lady, he always sneaks up behind them to give me a thumbs up and a wink or raise his eyebrows. Every single time. And it's not subtle, it's like he's trying to be as obvious as possible.
• He decided he was going to do the robot and talk like a robot every time he had to give a customer change. He does the robot a lot.
• Today I was ringing up some things for a really fat guy that looked familiar. Conversation #1-
  Dan: You look awfully familiar.
  Asad (appearing from nowhere): Yeah, I think I've seen you before. Haven't I seen you at the YMCA?
  Fat Guy: ... no.
  Asad smiles and walks away
• After that happened, I was ringing up a bigger lady, when Asad walks up again, and just looks at me. Conversation #2-
  Dan: That was pretty funny.
  Asad: What?
  Dan: What you said to that guy.
  Asad: The fat guy?
  Dan (uncomfortable talking like this while ringing customer up): Uh, no, the last guy that was here.
  Asad: Hahaha. I'm trying to get fired.
  Asad looks at the lady I am ringing up.
  Asad: Hey lady, If you ever want a discount, you know where to go. (as he is saying this, he uses both hands to point to his lane.)

He said he doesn't want to get fired doing something normal; that he wants to do something bizarre to get fired. My dying wish is that he does it while I'm working (i'm not really dying.)