there's something about waking up when the stars are still out...
so tomorrow i move to jupiter. im kind of nervous even though everyone keeps telling me its no big deal. im at work right now. been here since about 4:45 this morning. this is the last time i ever take a 5 am shift. who in their right mind would want to wake up this early if they didnt absolutely have to...better yet who would wake up this early to exercise? crazy people. i'm not going to get to sleep in again for like a week b/c orientation starts at like 8 am everyday til next monday. i talked to donny last night after he called twice and woke me up. i dont want to lose his friendship, i missed hanging out with him, and if we're just friends he wont be able to stress me out as much, haha. we just cant keep eachothers secrets. not that i can keep secrets to begin with. and we argue way too much for it to be good for either of us. i hope it's nice out today, i haven't been to the beach in a while. mike and i are sort of talking again. nothing serious, just friends but just being around him makes me realize how much i missed him. he was definitely the best boyfriend i've ever had even though things got a little shaky towards prom. but i shouldnt have let that cancel out how things were before that. he was the most important person in my life for a year and then we just puched eachother away b/c i was leaving for school. i feel like i should just move on, but then i think what if i never meet anyone else who understands me and loves me anyway as much as he does. he put up with sooo much shit from me, and i cant remember a single time that he wasnt there for me. that i didnt go straight to him every time i had a problem, even if it was a problem between us. i cant stop thinking that maybe were really meant to be together. but i guess if thats true then we'll end up together regardless of what i decide right now. i guess its a good thing that none of my ex-bfs hate me, most of them still call me or im me all the time. guess im not as psycho as i thought ;) ..the sun's just now starting to come up. blah. im gunna go i dont feel like writing any more and my boss will be here soon.