Seasonally-inappropriate song parody time is NOW.

[notusachan]

So I thought this up today, and if I wait until Christmas Fitzmas to post it I will surely forget, so you're all getting it now. (And, really, isn't Fitzmas a holiday every day?)

Feel free to sing along if you'd like.

THE TWELVE DAYS OF FITZMAS
 
On the first day of Fitzmas my true love gave to me,
A half-dead begonia plant.

On the second day of Fitzmas my true love gave to me,
2 different bodies
And a half-dead begonia plant.

On the third day of Fitzmas my true love gave to me,
3 bad puns,
2 different bodies,
And a half-dead begonia plant.

On the fourth day of Fitzmas my true love gave to me,
4 years in stasis,
3 bad puns,
2 different bodies,
And a half-dead begonia plant.

On the fifth day of Fitzmas my true love gave to me,
FIVE CIIIIIIGARETTES!
4 years in stasis,
3 bad puns,
2 different bodies,
And a half-dead begonia plant.

On the sixth day of Fitzmas my true love gave to me,
6 centuries alone,
FIVE CIGARETTES!
4 years in stasis,
3 bad puns,
2 different bodies,
And a half-dead begonia plant.

On the seventh day of Fitzmas my true love gave to me,
7 'bottom' dreams,
6 centuries alone,
FIVE CIGARETTES!
4 years in stasis,
3 bad puns,
2 different bodies,
And a half-dead begonia plant.

On the eighth day of Fitzmas my true love gave to me,
Eight wrapped in velvet,
7 'bottom' dreams,
6 centuries alone,
FIVE CIGARETTES!
4 years in stasis,
3 bad puns,
2 different bodies,
And a half-dead begonia plant.

On the ninth day of Fitzmas my true love gave to me,
9 pretty girlfriends,
Eight wrapped in velvet,
7 'bottom' dreams,
6 centuries alone,
FIVE CIGARETTES!
4 years in stasis,
3 bad puns,
2 different bodies,
And a half-dead begonia plant.

On the tenth day of Fitzmas my true love gave to me,
10 French accents,
9 pretty girlfriends,
Eight wrapped in velvet,
7 'bottom' dreams,
6 centuries alone,
FIVE CIGARETTES!
4 years in stasis,
3 bad puns,
2 different bodies,
And a half-dead begonia plant.

On the eleventh day of Fitzmas my true love gave to me,
11 ugly trousers,
10 French accents,
9 pretty girlfriends,
Eight wrapped in velvet,
7 'bottom' dreams,
6 centuries alone,
FIVE CIGARETTES!
4 years in stasis,
3 bad puns,
2 different bodies,
And a half-dead begonia plant.

On the twelfth day of Fitzmas my true love gave to me,
12 guitars strumming,
11 ugly trousers,
10 French accents,
9 pretty girlfriends,
Eight wrapped in velvet,
7 'bottom' dreams,
6 centuries alone,
FIVE CIGARETTES!
4 years in stasis,
3 bad puns,
2 different bodies,

AND A HALF-DEAD BEGONIA PLAAAAAAANT~!