(no subject)

[act1jac]

all of a sudden out of nowhere at like 8 o'clock my nose decided that it didnt want to work anymore. and now its all stuffy...not cool, i though i was gona be flu free for this damn winter. anywho my step mom was drunk at dinner today, it was funny. kinda sad. she had 11 yrs sober under her belt, and she thinks she can drink now without it being a problem... before dinner she had one, while dinner she had one then before she went to bed...when i got back from my meeting she had another whole glass in her hand... i was gona for 2 hrs, so god only knows. but thats the part that kinda...no that makes me mad. i'm here doing this for me, and my paents are behind me... cause they have always though i had a problem, when i was little they put me in alateen, then they threw me in overeaters annomus...and now i'm in na, its like lets see if this will make her sain. i kinda feel like i'm not the one that needs the help... well i know i do...but how am i suppose to look at this situation. god damn hypocrits....ehhh, whatever... i'm a lot happier now, and i found out my thc level was 600... now thats funny.anywho i really dont know the point of this entry... to complain... make myself feel better... its really just better getting these thoughts out of my mind an writting them. cause i need to pracits what i feel. i want to be clean... and i need to practis that... i want to be happy... i need to practis that(without turning to drugs/ alocohol/ other means of pleasure) and i want to not be angry any more... at everyone, my family certin friends... the govt, lol no fuck them ....and not be angry with myself...keep telling myself everything happens for a reason...i just need to get out of my fathers house... the insanity here is driving me even more insane... i know i was crazy before but this is not healthy, lol. anywhooo Tomorrow is christmas eve YAY!! one more day till christmas, my mommy got me a membership to golds, i've been asking since i discovered that the gym can be fun, lol i can thank megan for that. so now if i want to go at like 2 am i can!!! i really am excited, because i've lost like 20 pounds and now i need to firm it up a bit, lol and hopefully i can loose some more, i really dont pay attention to weight...its how my jeans fit, and right now i'm stealing all of nicoles jeans cause mine are too big and hers are juuuuust right. lol ok well i'm off its late.... and i need to find somthing to take so when i wake up in the morning i will be able to breath.

ps- meg, what did we agree i was gona take care of for the party?i forget what i'm suppose to bring.lol remember i'm just getting my memory back from 3 weeks ago, lol

Fin