as bad as i am, i'm proud of the fact that i'm worse than i seem.

[acrylic_veins]

i've never felt so thin in my life
that thin-ness is emptiness
i've wanted to be thin for awhile;
have i wanted to be this empty?

so far,
everything is out of reach.
i can only reach
so far.

awkward looks
in corridors
walk past me,
i know what it's all about.

my body weight
making a mess of your steam-cleaned upholstry.
i apologize,
to myself,
to everyone.

"don't leave me"

i left me.

as if health class wasn't depressing enough (we've been learning about mental disorders, primarily depression, and suicide for the past few weeks), our homework over the weekend was to compose a poem about advice given against suicide
here's a bit that i can recall:
the only way
i can look the one
i give advice to in the eye
is to stare
directly in the mirror
and force myself
not to cry.
i shake when i read this
only because
i know there is honesty
in rhyme.

i know, i know, i know

i cannot accept saturday night as a reality
i cannot accept saturday night as a reality
tim's thoughts:
"mayve i'd know what shakespeare was talking about if i knew what was happening in my life right now."
-----the effects of the 343.
"grilled cheese has never looked so sad"
i am flickering between
crying
and cracking up
at how pathetic everything really is.
please dont let jesse get in trouble

i fly beyond no window sills of this world