(no subject)
Tina and I were talking today, and a thought that has occurred to both of us before has really resonated in me today. We spoke about spontaneity, and though we spoke of it in more of a romantic relationship context, I've been thinking about the unexpected.
We take comfort in the expected. Routine, as mundane as it is, makes us feel in control often. Sometimes it gives us that helpless feeling of being powerless to change certain aspects of life, but often we shelter ourselves behind what we know as structured. We strive to make everything structured and organized. That's what comforts us, a world that makes complete and utter sense.
Yet, the world isn't like that. The unexpected comes and catches off guard. Often times, the element of surprise thrills us. To be expecting something to turn out bad, preparing for the absolute worst, and to be proven wrong with a pleasant outcome. Or, in the rigid routine of daily life, to not expect anything different, but to have a taste of lovely variety once in a while. Other times, however, the unexpected devastates us even more drastically. Those traumatizing life changing events. The illness, injury, death, and other crises hit us hard and deep in the gut. Our priorities shift and suddenly, the little things are either not such a big deal anymore, or they're completely and utterly precious. We can feel the dread crawl up our throats, creeping to choke us, as these things finally sink it; as we finally realize that yes, this really is indeed happening. The disappointing element of disillusionment.
And when these sad things happen we often ponder upon "why" as if there is always a reason. We feel that we'll have closure once we can make some logical sense out of it, as if there exists some mathematical equation which caused it. And we search and search and search for the answer. We curse God, Buddha, Allah, the Creator, Jehovah, Jesus, Virgin Mary, the Holy Spirit, and whomever else we feel is responsible for the universe.
But there isn't always a reason for why it happened besides simply that it just did.
Even as we realize that, we find it hard to accept. So we abandon the "why" and move on to something more palpable--how. "How" is a much simpler question to answer. We dig, find all the facts, piece the puzzle together, and learn the full story. But it still leaves us back at "why" at the end of the day, deep in the back of our minds.
The "why" will never go away. We must eventually accept that, and a choice has to be made. A choice to linger on the past or one to move on. We can still remember the past, in fact, most of the time (with a few exceptions) we probably should. Moving on with the present does not mean complete abandonment of the past. It just means that you've come to some sort of acceptance and you're willing to keep living.
We take comfort in the expected. Routine, as mundane as it is, makes us feel in control often. Sometimes it gives us that helpless feeling of being powerless to change certain aspects of life, but often we shelter ourselves behind what we know as structured. We strive to make everything structured and organized. That's what comforts us, a world that makes complete and utter sense.
Yet, the world isn't like that. The unexpected comes and catches off guard. Often times, the element of surprise thrills us. To be expecting something to turn out bad, preparing for the absolute worst, and to be proven wrong with a pleasant outcome. Or, in the rigid routine of daily life, to not expect anything different, but to have a taste of lovely variety once in a while. Other times, however, the unexpected devastates us even more drastically. Those traumatizing life changing events. The illness, injury, death, and other crises hit us hard and deep in the gut. Our priorities shift and suddenly, the little things are either not such a big deal anymore, or they're completely and utterly precious. We can feel the dread crawl up our throats, creeping to choke us, as these things finally sink it; as we finally realize that yes, this really is indeed happening. The disappointing element of disillusionment.
And when these sad things happen we often ponder upon "why" as if there is always a reason. We feel that we'll have closure once we can make some logical sense out of it, as if there exists some mathematical equation which caused it. And we search and search and search for the answer. We curse God, Buddha, Allah, the Creator, Jehovah, Jesus, Virgin Mary, the Holy Spirit, and whomever else we feel is responsible for the universe.
But there isn't always a reason for why it happened besides simply that it just did.
Even as we realize that, we find it hard to accept. So we abandon the "why" and move on to something more palpable--how. "How" is a much simpler question to answer. We dig, find all the facts, piece the puzzle together, and learn the full story. But it still leaves us back at "why" at the end of the day, deep in the back of our minds.
The "why" will never go away. We must eventually accept that, and a choice has to be made. A choice to linger on the past or one to move on. We can still remember the past, in fact, most of the time (with a few exceptions) we probably should. Moving on with the present does not mean complete abandonment of the past. It just means that you've come to some sort of acceptance and you're willing to keep living.