(no subject)
Friday I saw "The Aristocrats." It was a great movie, if you haven't seen it go out right now and purchase yourself a ticket. I suppose it was vulgar, I wasn't "offended", that catchphrase is nowadays overused. Sarah Silverman said something that made me uncomfortable at first, but I understand that it's all a joke. I have a similar sense of humor. Anyway, it was funny. Then Saturday I went up to Brockport with my mom and dad, and my cousin, and we worked on Lindsay's garden. We put a plaque up with her picture on it, it looks great. It's a special kind of engraving that looks like her, not like other kinds of engraving that sort of look like the person. The dedication is thursday. I'm going to speak at it, I'm nervous. No matter what I say everyone will say, "That's great Jon, good job." meh. I was driving to Auburn today because my unit was being inactivated. We've been reorganized as the 2-108th Infantry. that reminds me, yesterday my dad took John, Jen, my stepmother, and me to see the "Spirit of America." It's a show put on by the U.S. Army Old Guard and Army Band. It was really great. The Old Guard drill team was spinning and tossing rifles with bayonets on them. They were perfect. The fife and drum corp were also amazing wearing Revolutionary War era uniforms. I've been kind of miserable lately. I don't know if I'm getting better or worse. All i know is i'm getting tired of being afraid. I have dreams where I die, and right before I die I know it. I get so pissed in the dream. I'm angry because I'm going to die. I think about death all the time. I'm not going to do anything to hurt myself, but everything just seems so pointless. I'm scared of dying...and it fills every minute of my day with terror.