The intercom goes live.

[realguitarhero]

squeeeeEEEEeEEeEeeeEEEeeee

thump

thump thump"Hey," the reedy voice says over the intercom, "is this thing on? Hell, I dunno how this works. Listen, I'm in a place marked with a bunch of radiation symbols and someone wrote 'It's been nice knowing you, I've always loved you, Captain' on the walls. Oh, hey, a map, okay, I think... yeah, can someone

Comments

[ajrimmer_ssc]

Erm. That's definitely not Space Corps approved signage.

Arnold Rimmer, acting captain. Name, rank and serial number, sir!

[realguitarhero]

....well, now.

"Name's Buddy. Rank... well, I was tryin' to be king, man, but that didn't happen. I don't know any numbered cereals, but I used to like oatmeal, if that helps. I got the feeling I'm not where I used to be, and where I used to be was nothin' like here."

[ajrimmer_ssc]

King? Did you just say king? As in crown, ermine cape, marrying a third cousin sort of king?

[realguitarhero]

"Well, more black velvet jumpsuit than ermine cape, and he married Queen Priscilla instead of any cousins, but yeah, he had a crown. Elvis, King of Rock and of Lost Vegas. He had died not long ago, and the call went out to any who thought they could take the throne for their own." *snap!* "And so I went, like pretty much every virtuoso in North America."

[ajrimmer_ssc]

...Elvis?

Oh my god, you're serious.

Your dimension sounds very, very strange, no offense meant, m'laddo.

[realguitarhero]

Well, sir, after the Russkies dropped the Bomb and blew everything to Hell, Vegas was the last real city standing, and then some of the guys from California traded water pipes for protection, and everyone looked up to the King...

And I suppose it is to some people, but it was the life I knew. Learned to play guitar and fight to protect myself, and when the word came, well, like a hundred others, went to try to take the throne. I mean, King Buddy's got a nice ring to it to my ears.

Where's a good place for me to go, and a way to get there, other than this place with the radiation signs? It's, uh, kind of nervous-making, as I'm sure you can understand, to be near these signs and any kind of radiation.

[ajrimmer_ssc]

The Russians. Bombed America.

...Right. Well, sorry to hear that. Let's get you situated in a room, shall we?

[realguitarhero]

It was 1957. Before I was born.

Sounds like a plan to me. Where's the best way to go?

...and there's going to be some food there? I have a mighty hunger hit me.

Before you ask: I won't be asking for the King's Meal. Never got the taste for bananas.

[ajrimmer_ssc]

You're in luck there, bananas are rather hard to come by three million years into deep space. Unless you want to brave the supply decks.

All right, where are you? In a corridor or something?

[realguitarhero]

Uh... the sign here says "Blue Storage #4". And then there's the radiation signs, and they have a bunch of what looks like sparkly stuff on them. And some really loud suits.

[yeeooww]

Hey buddy! That's my closet!

[realguitarhero]

Uh.

Sorry. This is where I woke up.

[ajrimmer_ssc]

Nngh.

Right, I'll be down to fetch you out in just a moment. And if you value your sanity, don't touch Cat's suits, he'll never stop whining at you for it.

[realguitarhero]

"I'll be waiting."

And thus he is, leaning against the wall, doing a chord exerise on the battered Fender he carries.