hello LJ
I have decided to revive my LJ since I have thought of several reasons why I should. However, I am not really in the mood to list them all here. It would be tedious, and I don't have enough patience for that...
Lately, I have become so cynical. I guess, it's the POST-MS. yeah. Seriously, POST. HAHA. Like, I dont like to see certain people right now even though they're like my friends. I don't want to be involved in any activities unless I am really really up for it. I think I am being moody. Yes, I am.
I woke up at around 5:00 p.m. today. It is a sunday anyway. I went to mass at Sanctuario. We were late as usual. And I felt so insecure again. I really don't know why. But whenever id go to mass at Sanctuario, I feel like a lot of people look at me. I feel like they criticize what I wear. It gets annoying. I am moody, alright.
I also really abhor the fact that my mom or the other yaya's would call me "Mayet" who is the other household helper. FUCK. alright. I am really fuckin pissed. Thanks for the ego boost. fuckin family. I really really swear that I'll run away. One day. I will.
Ye, I know that I should try to stop cursing... But I can't. I really don't know how else I can express my anger, which people can actually relate to. I can't like verbalize my anger in such profound and many words that people can hardly understand. It's so much easier to say "FUCK" or "SHIT" when you're pissed since people would easily figure out that you're not in the good mood. I don't really like explaining to people what I feel because I'd feel like my emotions would tire out. gets? haha. See. I can't explain.
There are just certain emotions that should be shared and should be kept. And, most of what I feel are those that I want to keep to myself since I believe that they are merely destructive.
I really tend to be emotional. And, I have learned from MANY past experiences that emotions can really ruin EVERYTHING. I hate it. EMOTIONS that are transformed into actions become your FUTURE regrets.
I am furious. I know I am. I hope that I won't be tomorrow. But I have a feeling that I will be.
I am getting another hair cut. I know that my hair's shorter than before. But I feel like I want to redefine who I am.
Lately, I have become so cynical. I guess, it's the POST-MS. yeah. Seriously, POST. HAHA. Like, I dont like to see certain people right now even though they're like my friends. I don't want to be involved in any activities unless I am really really up for it. I think I am being moody. Yes, I am.
I woke up at around 5:00 p.m. today. It is a sunday anyway. I went to mass at Sanctuario. We were late as usual. And I felt so insecure again. I really don't know why. But whenever id go to mass at Sanctuario, I feel like a lot of people look at me. I feel like they criticize what I wear. It gets annoying. I am moody, alright.
I also really abhor the fact that my mom or the other yaya's would call me "Mayet" who is the other household helper. FUCK. alright. I am really fuckin pissed. Thanks for the ego boost. fuckin family. I really really swear that I'll run away. One day. I will.
Ye, I know that I should try to stop cursing... But I can't. I really don't know how else I can express my anger, which people can actually relate to. I can't like verbalize my anger in such profound and many words that people can hardly understand. It's so much easier to say "FUCK" or "SHIT" when you're pissed since people would easily figure out that you're not in the good mood. I don't really like explaining to people what I feel because I'd feel like my emotions would tire out. gets? haha. See. I can't explain.
There are just certain emotions that should be shared and should be kept. And, most of what I feel are those that I want to keep to myself since I believe that they are merely destructive.
I really tend to be emotional. And, I have learned from MANY past experiences that emotions can really ruin EVERYTHING. I hate it. EMOTIONS that are transformed into actions become your FUTURE regrets.
I am furious. I know I am. I hope that I won't be tomorrow. But I have a feeling that I will be.
I am getting another hair cut. I know that my hair's shorter than before. But I feel like I want to redefine who I am.