plague
So it's cricket season these days, at least in this part of Texas. And the plague has decided it'd be fun to come to my house for a change - shits and giggles and all that rot.
So there I was minding my own business when a freaking cricket flies at my head, not just jumps and not just hopped, it was fucking flying right at me, probably going for my hair. And I just saw it out of the corner of my eye and flipped out, jumped up from my hair and ran out of the room convinced it had latched on to the back of my shirt and was still there.
Luckily I stopped before peeling off my clothes, not that it would have mattered - seeing as I was home alone.
Because as soon as I was about to rip off my clothes I saw it ... the cricket of doom still flying around my room. So normally I would have gotten a shoe and just killed the little bastard, but it was flying! So I did the next best thing - got a dowel rod and a tupperware container, duh. Cause I'm gonna whack it out of the air with the dowel rod and then cover it with the tupperware ... not sure what I was gonna do after that, but that's besides the point because it never got that far.
In my search for the weapons to destroy the foul beast in my room, I lost it. I came back and it was no where to be seen. So I'm standing kinda hopping back and forth from one foot to the other, until I find it again. and it's back to jumping now, but I'm worried it's gonna flip out and start flying again so I'm worried about going with the shoe approach.
It doesn't do that, but instead it decides to hide under my bed. So move the bed as much as I can hoping it's not gonna come flying up at my face, but I can't find it. There is a cricket in my room and I can't find it. So I do the only logical thing I can do. I take apart my bed - box spring and all and take it out into the hallway so I can find the cricket and kill it.
I've traded in my dowel rod and tupperware for a broom now, and I'm poking around for the cricket when it finally decides to show itself. And I whack that thing a million times with the broom until I think it's dead, but oh no .. that'd be too easy. And so I have to kill it a second time with a shoe, before sweeping it up and throwing it outside.
Then I decide I need to take a shower, and on my way to the shower ... there's another cricket. I don't give this one time to hide, I grab a shoe and kill that little bastard as quick as I can.
And thus I was dubbed: Mal - bug killer extraordinaire
and finally ... if you made it through all of that, you deserve a prize. So give me a prompt and a pairing and I'll write you up a little drabble in Harry Potter, Heroes, Labyrinth, or Firefly.
So there I was minding my own business when a freaking cricket flies at my head, not just jumps and not just hopped, it was fucking flying right at me, probably going for my hair. And I just saw it out of the corner of my eye and flipped out, jumped up from my hair and ran out of the room convinced it had latched on to the back of my shirt and was still there.
Luckily I stopped before peeling off my clothes, not that it would have mattered - seeing as I was home alone.
Because as soon as I was about to rip off my clothes I saw it ... the cricket of doom still flying around my room. So normally I would have gotten a shoe and just killed the little bastard, but it was flying! So I did the next best thing - got a dowel rod and a tupperware container, duh. Cause I'm gonna whack it out of the air with the dowel rod and then cover it with the tupperware ... not sure what I was gonna do after that, but that's besides the point because it never got that far.
In my search for the weapons to destroy the foul beast in my room, I lost it. I came back and it was no where to be seen. So I'm standing kinda hopping back and forth from one foot to the other, until I find it again. and it's back to jumping now, but I'm worried it's gonna flip out and start flying again so I'm worried about going with the shoe approach.
It doesn't do that, but instead it decides to hide under my bed. So move the bed as much as I can hoping it's not gonna come flying up at my face, but I can't find it. There is a cricket in my room and I can't find it. So I do the only logical thing I can do. I take apart my bed - box spring and all and take it out into the hallway so I can find the cricket and kill it.
I've traded in my dowel rod and tupperware for a broom now, and I'm poking around for the cricket when it finally decides to show itself. And I whack that thing a million times with the broom until I think it's dead, but oh no .. that'd be too easy. And so I have to kill it a second time with a shoe, before sweeping it up and throwing it outside.
Then I decide I need to take a shower, and on my way to the shower ... there's another cricket. I don't give this one time to hide, I grab a shoe and kill that little bastard as quick as I can.
And thus I was dubbed: Mal - bug killer extraordinaire
and finally ... if you made it through all of that, you deserve a prize. So give me a prompt and a pairing and I'll write you up a little drabble in Harry Potter, Heroes, Labyrinth, or Firefly.