(no subject)
more often, I am finding that I have no idea what to do with myself. the house is nearly ready for the gathering of the forces on new years with a few projects still left to go. I am not used to being able to let go in a group living arrangement. I have always felt that the common areas of the house... well... didn't belong to me at all. other people's furniture had already filled the spaces. other people's nick knacks already lined the shelves and therefor my things didn't belong there. Over the years I have developed the habit of cruising the house for any item of my own left laying around the house so as I wouldn't be seen as being messy or causing any problems in for roommates. I have felt generally so isolated that I believed I only belonged in my room. this is soooo different.I still feel awkward trying to help Dan and Lucy disperse their personal belongings throughout the house in cool places. however I have been included in the process of deciding what fits where and how it affects the house and the individual piece of art. the result is that when I walk around this house as opposed to all the places I have ever lived before... I feel at least in part responsible for the finished product. I feel welcome in every nook corner and cranny of this house and that has never happened to me before. I still don't know exactly what to do with myself besides pace the place and feel good about my life and the direction things appear to be taking. my room is all set up the way I want it. I can jam out with my tunes over the great sound system and I can veg watching media shared on the network and I can goof off on the computer hence..... so I guess I am in a great place with the greatest people and I have little that I desire besides the ones I love most being with and around me in the coming year.