the lengths we'll go.
I can't help but chuckle about how much time has been spent and (electronic) ink has been spilled about boys over the last 8 or so years on here. I've said it once and I'll say it again - love and other sundry have always been a bit of an enigma for me. I've been wildly fortunate to never have a shortage of it, but being the goal-oriented chap I am, I figured I'd have had "it" figured out by now. What 10 years of heart ache, triumph, love, loss, and absolutely everything in between has taught me is that I don't know what the goal is. Maybe a long-term, monogamous, deep, committed family-type thing? I think that's as close as I can get to narrowing it down. I've also been wrong enough and human enough to know that it all doesn't fall along tidy little guidelines like most other things in life.
I'm in Summerside, Prince Edward Island right now waiting for a boy (a man, really) to finish his rehearsal so I can see him perform in his show tonight in the same theatre. This is the second time in as many months that I've flown to different spots in the country to just be around him. We've talked about what the future would look like, and what the time in between might be like, too. Almost impossible to say. He said the thing that rang the truest yesterday: "I'd relax and just be fine with whatever if I knew that at the end of this, there is a guarantee we get each other." But then we confessed, no, there aren't guarantees with people, life, time, circumstance. Just intention, chance, momentum, hope, and work. The one thing I do know for sure is that time and experience have taught me that you gotta just chill. Just be. With him, with me, with the feelings that I've got.
I'm in Summerside, Prince Edward Island right now waiting for a boy (a man, really) to finish his rehearsal so I can see him perform in his show tonight in the same theatre. This is the second time in as many months that I've flown to different spots in the country to just be around him. We've talked about what the future would look like, and what the time in between might be like, too. Almost impossible to say. He said the thing that rang the truest yesterday: "I'd relax and just be fine with whatever if I knew that at the end of this, there is a guarantee we get each other." But then we confessed, no, there aren't guarantees with people, life, time, circumstance. Just intention, chance, momentum, hope, and work. The one thing I do know for sure is that time and experience have taught me that you gotta just chill. Just be. With him, with me, with the feelings that I've got.