001. Abandonment - Prompt Table for Old Fashioned Word
It’s silent in the prison. She had always thought there would be constant screaming, or at least talking, even if it was of despair and lament... but there’s only silence, and it’s scarier than the blood and shadows of liquids she doesn’t want to think about or ever see again which are slicked on the floor and walls... It’s scarier than the thought of dying there alone, and it’s scarier than when she thinks about what may happen tomorrow or the next day - if she even makes it that far. The silence shows that no one there cares anymore and that everyone has given up hope - like she should. This is the end of the line, there’s no where left to go, but even at that she can’t cry any more. There’s no more crying left to be had.
The first time Meryn felt true abandonment wasn’t when she found out her father didn’t know she existed and even if he did, he wouldn’t care, and it wasn’t when her mother left her on the corner of the market square and didn’t return when it got dark - or ever - and not even the time when Amy had sworn she had seen her stealing a piece of fruit so that she wouldn’t be taken in by the palace guards as well. No, it was the time when Darric had taken Elyssa by the hand, and said he didn’t know Meryn at all.
“I’ve never met her in my life.” He had murmured, coldness in his eyes which made him look like he didn’t care at all about her, but Meryn could see the fear there, of what would happen to her. It didn’t make it any easier though, and it didn’t matter that it had been her making the wild eye movements commanding him to get her cousin out of there and keep her safe because all that she could think of as their backs disappearing amongst the crowd was that she had been abandoned.
A beggar man on his last few days had told her that everyone dies alone. For him it had been true - the next time she had walked through his corner of path he had been lying there, obviously dead, with no one there to slide his eyelids closed or to remove him to a better place - but she knew that what he had said wasn’t true all the time. She would have given anything - if she had anything - to be home and surrounded by those she loves, even though she shouldn’t feel anything for them at all. It’s all she wants though, to be warmed by them as she dies, to see their faces one last time... and with that she lets out a gut-wrenching sob, at this she can cry because she’s never going to see them again - any of them - but most importantly she’ll never see Elyssa or Darric again, and that thought alone is enough to make her want to give up right now.
She could cry herself to death, she thinks, but doesn’t have the energy, and soon she’s silently weeping softly into her hands and the dirt on the floor. She’s becoming part of the silence which surrounds her now, and that thought almost makes her heart stop, so she doesn’t have to go through any more pain at the loss of hope.
“Meri...” a soft voice whispers, and she sobs because she knows that voice so well and the fact that she’s hearing it now means she’s reached Death’s door. They say you always hear the voice of the one you love just before you pass through the veil...
“Oi you idiot, open your eyes. You’re crying so you’re still alive, you twit.”
She opens her eyes, and it’s Darric huddled down in the corner, pressed against the bars of her cell. He’s holding something in his hands that he’s twirling but his eyes are on her, and she can see the fear still there as if it hasn’t left his eyes at all.
“Dari?”
“Mmm. Shh, sit tight.”
But she doesn’t, she rushes to the front of her cell and grabs at his hands, only for him to push her away.
“Don’t.” He snaps, and then instantly his eyes soften. “Meri, sit back, don’t make a noise-”
“Where’s Elyssa?” she asks, and at his snap she draws back with a frown. “Don’t be like that - where is she?”
“She’s safe.” He assures her shortly. “More than I can say for you. I don’t believe you let them get you this far. I thought you would have - I don’t know...”
“Done something stupid?” she suggests, and he laughs his short bark of a laugh.
“You usually do.” He agrees. “I... I thought you would have got away from them somehow... but then you didn’t come home that night... or the next... and I...”
“Were you worried about me?” she asks with a smile, and she only smiles wider at his snarky sound.
“Worried about you?” he scoffs with a frown. “As if... I’d say here. Later. Ask me then.” He briefly smiles at her just a little, and then there’s a click and he’s pulling away two pieces of bar, leaving a foot or so of space that wasn’t there before. “Come on, now you stupid little girl... before I change my mind...” but he’s holding his hands out to her through the small hole and the fear is back in his eyes now that it’s time for them to escape.
Once she’s out and tucked under his arm she can breathe again, and she looks up at him as he peers around the corner to make sure they’re alone.
“You came for me.” She smiles, and he looks like he’s about to hit her.
“What were you thinking in there?” he mutters, pulling her along. “Stupid things, as always, from the sounds of it.”
“...I... I thought I was abandoned...” she murmurs back, even though he’s not after a reply. “I... not by anyone... just... by... it was my fault...”
“Damn right it was your stupid fault.” He snaps back at her, and swears at her to shut her mouth until they’re out. She can feel the anger radiating off him and so she obeys, only because - if they’re about to get caught - she doesn’t want to spend the last few moments with him in a fight, so instead she concentrates on his feel and his smell and just him.
It’s hard, but it’s quick, and they only have two brief encounters before they’re out. She’s bloody and he’s bloodier, but still moving her fast, and the sunshine hits her hard and powerfully even though it’s diming now for dusk. It’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen.
“Now.” He snaps, once they’re out and in the underground - she never thought she would ever miss the smell of the sewers, but now she’s so, so happy that she gets to smell it once more. “Ask me.” He demands, and for a moment she’s completely lost. She remembers quickly though, Darric is sometimes hard to keep up with and from when they first met almost six years ago now, she swore she’d always keep up with him, not wanting to feel base around him.
“Were you worried about me?” she asks softly, and he pulls her into a back breaking hug even though she must stink so badly and even though she almost got him killed back there.
“You are never allowed to leave my side again, you stupid little twit.” He murmurs in her ear. “You’ll be lucky if I let you see daylight again. I want you... I want you safe Meryn, I can’t let you be taken away again. ...Even if I have to lock you up and hide you away...”
“So it would be just like prison again...” she whispers, and he gives a weird half shrug half nod.
“Only I’d lock myself up there with you.” He murmurs in her ear, kissing the hollow of her throat gently. “Can’t have you feeling abandoned now, can we?”
The first time Meryn felt true abandonment wasn’t when she found out her father didn’t know she existed and even if he did, he wouldn’t care, and it wasn’t when her mother left her on the corner of the market square and didn’t return when it got dark - or ever - and not even the time when Amy had sworn she had seen her stealing a piece of fruit so that she wouldn’t be taken in by the palace guards as well. No, it was the time when Darric had taken Elyssa by the hand, and said he didn’t know Meryn at all.
“I’ve never met her in my life.” He had murmured, coldness in his eyes which made him look like he didn’t care at all about her, but Meryn could see the fear there, of what would happen to her. It didn’t make it any easier though, and it didn’t matter that it had been her making the wild eye movements commanding him to get her cousin out of there and keep her safe because all that she could think of as their backs disappearing amongst the crowd was that she had been abandoned.
A beggar man on his last few days had told her that everyone dies alone. For him it had been true - the next time she had walked through his corner of path he had been lying there, obviously dead, with no one there to slide his eyelids closed or to remove him to a better place - but she knew that what he had said wasn’t true all the time. She would have given anything - if she had anything - to be home and surrounded by those she loves, even though she shouldn’t feel anything for them at all. It’s all she wants though, to be warmed by them as she dies, to see their faces one last time... and with that she lets out a gut-wrenching sob, at this she can cry because she’s never going to see them again - any of them - but most importantly she’ll never see Elyssa or Darric again, and that thought alone is enough to make her want to give up right now.
She could cry herself to death, she thinks, but doesn’t have the energy, and soon she’s silently weeping softly into her hands and the dirt on the floor. She’s becoming part of the silence which surrounds her now, and that thought almost makes her heart stop, so she doesn’t have to go through any more pain at the loss of hope.
“Meri...” a soft voice whispers, and she sobs because she knows that voice so well and the fact that she’s hearing it now means she’s reached Death’s door. They say you always hear the voice of the one you love just before you pass through the veil...
“Oi you idiot, open your eyes. You’re crying so you’re still alive, you twit.”
She opens her eyes, and it’s Darric huddled down in the corner, pressed against the bars of her cell. He’s holding something in his hands that he’s twirling but his eyes are on her, and she can see the fear still there as if it hasn’t left his eyes at all.
“Dari?”
“Mmm. Shh, sit tight.”
But she doesn’t, she rushes to the front of her cell and grabs at his hands, only for him to push her away.
“Don’t.” He snaps, and then instantly his eyes soften. “Meri, sit back, don’t make a noise-”
“Where’s Elyssa?” she asks, and at his snap she draws back with a frown. “Don’t be like that - where is she?”
“She’s safe.” He assures her shortly. “More than I can say for you. I don’t believe you let them get you this far. I thought you would have - I don’t know...”
“Done something stupid?” she suggests, and he laughs his short bark of a laugh.
“You usually do.” He agrees. “I... I thought you would have got away from them somehow... but then you didn’t come home that night... or the next... and I...”
“Were you worried about me?” she asks with a smile, and she only smiles wider at his snarky sound.
“Worried about you?” he scoffs with a frown. “As if... I’d say here. Later. Ask me then.” He briefly smiles at her just a little, and then there’s a click and he’s pulling away two pieces of bar, leaving a foot or so of space that wasn’t there before. “Come on, now you stupid little girl... before I change my mind...” but he’s holding his hands out to her through the small hole and the fear is back in his eyes now that it’s time for them to escape.
Once she’s out and tucked under his arm she can breathe again, and she looks up at him as he peers around the corner to make sure they’re alone.
“You came for me.” She smiles, and he looks like he’s about to hit her.
“What were you thinking in there?” he mutters, pulling her along. “Stupid things, as always, from the sounds of it.”
“...I... I thought I was abandoned...” she murmurs back, even though he’s not after a reply. “I... not by anyone... just... by... it was my fault...”
“Damn right it was your stupid fault.” He snaps back at her, and swears at her to shut her mouth until they’re out. She can feel the anger radiating off him and so she obeys, only because - if they’re about to get caught - she doesn’t want to spend the last few moments with him in a fight, so instead she concentrates on his feel and his smell and just him.
It’s hard, but it’s quick, and they only have two brief encounters before they’re out. She’s bloody and he’s bloodier, but still moving her fast, and the sunshine hits her hard and powerfully even though it’s diming now for dusk. It’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen.
“Now.” He snaps, once they’re out and in the underground - she never thought she would ever miss the smell of the sewers, but now she’s so, so happy that she gets to smell it once more. “Ask me.” He demands, and for a moment she’s completely lost. She remembers quickly though, Darric is sometimes hard to keep up with and from when they first met almost six years ago now, she swore she’d always keep up with him, not wanting to feel base around him.
“Were you worried about me?” she asks softly, and he pulls her into a back breaking hug even though she must stink so badly and even though she almost got him killed back there.
“You are never allowed to leave my side again, you stupid little twit.” He murmurs in her ear. “You’ll be lucky if I let you see daylight again. I want you... I want you safe Meryn, I can’t let you be taken away again. ...Even if I have to lock you up and hide you away...”
“So it would be just like prison again...” she whispers, and he gives a weird half shrug half nod.
“Only I’d lock myself up there with you.” He murmurs in her ear, kissing the hollow of her throat gently. “Can’t have you feeling abandoned now, can we?”