030. Slow - April/May - Rambles & Snippets - Fiction[NET]
“What do you think of Dillon?” Tait asked. She was sitting at the kitchen bench in Kami and John’s house with her head down and he arms folded around her as if protecting herself. Kami and John exchanged a look across the room which Tait felt although she couldn’t see it, and then heard John leave the room.
“I think he… would be very, very complicated.” Kami sighed. “But… the fact that you’re asking means you’re already interested… doesn’t it?”
Tait shrugged and shook her head in the one same strange movement. “I don’t know.” She muttered. “I think that maybe I agree that he would be complicated and that maybe that would be interesting and exactly what … would be good for me.”
Kami poured them both a fruit cordial lemonade mix and then sat down beside her friend. They sat in silence for some time until Tait rose her head, sitting properly finally and sighed.
“I… all my life I’ve never been able… to be myself with someone. I’ve never been able to tell them everything and it’s only been meaningless chatter and the empty warmth of just holding hands and going through the motions. … Maybe with him, or at least I feel that maybe I could be more open with him… share my troubles and how fucked up I am with someone who is as equally damaged and needing someone to accept that. …Does that make any sense?”
“…What have you gone through?” Kami asked quietly after a long silence. “Shouldn’t that mean you deserve happiness and brightness if you’ve been through so much?”
Tait shook her head. “It means I need someone who won’t judge, or pity, or try too hard to make up for it. I need understanding, if anything at all… so if I had to be with someone… I think it would be better for it to be with someone like him. And everyone seems to think that being with someone is a good idea… so I think I want to try it. With him.”
“Well I guess that makes sense.” Kami murmured and sighed. “It would be… a lot of work, a lot of stress…”
“And worth it in the long run.” Tait muttered so slowly that for a moment Kami wasn’t sure she’d heard right. “…I’ll get another drink.” She took both their glasses to the fridge and refilled them, turning thoughts slowly over and over in her head.
She didn’t want to start anything. She didn’t think Dillon would be the type who would like being tied down to a place anymore than she would - they were both on the run for their own reasons after all…
“Give it some time. If it’s right, time will tell.” Kami spoke up finally and after a nod, Tait left it at that. It began to rain outside and they sat on the balcony for hours in mostly silence, just looking and thinking. Tait’s mind was already made up though, easy decision.
<--- 029. Sleep
“I think he… would be very, very complicated.” Kami sighed. “But… the fact that you’re asking means you’re already interested… doesn’t it?”
Tait shrugged and shook her head in the one same strange movement. “I don’t know.” She muttered. “I think that maybe I agree that he would be complicated and that maybe that would be interesting and exactly what … would be good for me.”
Kami poured them both a fruit cordial lemonade mix and then sat down beside her friend. They sat in silence for some time until Tait rose her head, sitting properly finally and sighed.
“I… all my life I’ve never been able… to be myself with someone. I’ve never been able to tell them everything and it’s only been meaningless chatter and the empty warmth of just holding hands and going through the motions. … Maybe with him, or at least I feel that maybe I could be more open with him… share my troubles and how fucked up I am with someone who is as equally damaged and needing someone to accept that. …Does that make any sense?”
“…What have you gone through?” Kami asked quietly after a long silence. “Shouldn’t that mean you deserve happiness and brightness if you’ve been through so much?”
Tait shook her head. “It means I need someone who won’t judge, or pity, or try too hard to make up for it. I need understanding, if anything at all… so if I had to be with someone… I think it would be better for it to be with someone like him. And everyone seems to think that being with someone is a good idea… so I think I want to try it. With him.”
“Well I guess that makes sense.” Kami murmured and sighed. “It would be… a lot of work, a lot of stress…”
“And worth it in the long run.” Tait muttered so slowly that for a moment Kami wasn’t sure she’d heard right. “…I’ll get another drink.” She took both their glasses to the fridge and refilled them, turning thoughts slowly over and over in her head.
She didn’t want to start anything. She didn’t think Dillon would be the type who would like being tied down to a place anymore than she would - they were both on the run for their own reasons after all…
“Give it some time. If it’s right, time will tell.” Kami spoke up finally and after a nod, Tait left it at that. It began to rain outside and they sat on the balcony for hours in mostly silence, just looking and thinking. Tait’s mind was already made up though, easy decision.
<--- 029. Sleep