Keeping in touch.
Have you ever gone through an old address book, real world or in the "virtual world" and seen names you haven't thought about for years?
When I was little I used to wonder at how often my grandmother wrote letters to her friends. Every single day she'd write a couple and mail them off in big bunches when we got into dock [at the time my grandparents lived on a small sailing vessel]. She took great joy out of receiving mail constantly.
At the time I always took it for granted when I received a letter from her. Sadly, as time does with all things I no longer receive those letters. But the memories are still wonderful.
Later, when I was a teenager and I lived in Germany for the first time my friends there used to mock Americans for their flighty/flakey nature. We had endless discussions around campfires, during parties in houses, and in the cafes regarding this perception of Americans as plastic and of how easily they granted and easily revoked friendship. One girl went so far as to describe Americans as peaches and Europeans as walnuts.
In the end, all those friendships faded in the same fashion as American friendships do.
In college a friend of mine used to say that when someone moved away he would still like them, and might even be friends with them again in person. But the moment they left, they were no longer the same type of friends that they had been when they lived next door [figuratively speaking]. Another in our stalwart group of cronies once said, "Once you move away you are dead to me." [They were referring to another friend, not myself just to keep the clever record straight. *grin*]
These days I figure I am less skeptical regarding those youthful insights.
How many thousands and thousands of people cross our paths during the years of our growing up and early adulthood. When I think about it, my head spins trying to keep all the dates and faces and names and facts straight. It is somehow sad that our lives are not chronicled, just for ourselves so that we could better revisit the past, but I suspect we are lucky that no such thing occurs. The consequence would then be we'd be even more trapped in the past as a culture.
So it that was then. And this is now. How do we plan for the future? How best does one avoid repeating the mistakes and fades of what once was and instead nurture what might yet be? Thats an answer I would be most grateful for if ever I were to stumble across it.
And one piece of advice I'd give myself....
p.s. "Friend Audits" [TM] are for tards.
In life walking away is the easy path and finding ways to keep friendships and make amends when either party screws up is the hard part.
When I was little I used to wonder at how often my grandmother wrote letters to her friends. Every single day she'd write a couple and mail them off in big bunches when we got into dock [at the time my grandparents lived on a small sailing vessel]. She took great joy out of receiving mail constantly.
At the time I always took it for granted when I received a letter from her. Sadly, as time does with all things I no longer receive those letters. But the memories are still wonderful.
Later, when I was a teenager and I lived in Germany for the first time my friends there used to mock Americans for their flighty/flakey nature. We had endless discussions around campfires, during parties in houses, and in the cafes regarding this perception of Americans as plastic and of how easily they granted and easily revoked friendship. One girl went so far as to describe Americans as peaches and Europeans as walnuts.
In the end, all those friendships faded in the same fashion as American friendships do.
In college a friend of mine used to say that when someone moved away he would still like them, and might even be friends with them again in person. But the moment they left, they were no longer the same type of friends that they had been when they lived next door [figuratively speaking]. Another in our stalwart group of cronies once said, "Once you move away you are dead to me." [They were referring to another friend, not myself just to keep the clever record straight. *grin*]
These days I figure I am less skeptical regarding those youthful insights.
How many thousands and thousands of people cross our paths during the years of our growing up and early adulthood. When I think about it, my head spins trying to keep all the dates and faces and names and facts straight. It is somehow sad that our lives are not chronicled, just for ourselves so that we could better revisit the past, but I suspect we are lucky that no such thing occurs. The consequence would then be we'd be even more trapped in the past as a culture.
So it that was then. And this is now. How do we plan for the future? How best does one avoid repeating the mistakes and fades of what once was and instead nurture what might yet be? Thats an answer I would be most grateful for if ever I were to stumble across it.
And one piece of advice I'd give myself....
p.s. "Friend Audits" [TM] are for tards.
In life walking away is the easy path and finding ways to keep friendships and make amends when either party screws up is the hard part.