for some reason I feel lost
So I am using this as a remedy (hopefully) to an on-coming wave of full depression.
I am sad and I don't know why. I am realizing all of the mistakes I have made, and somehow without even knowing it, let the few people that cared about me down. If I could do life all over again, I wouldn't have been so selfish. I have been a harsh mis-guided teenage girl. That's why people end up hating me in the end of everything. I only think about myself. This whole time I have been trying to be this wonderful person that everyone loves, but in trying to do so I have been lieing to myself, and not being true. Not to myself or anyone else. I thought for a moment in time that all that was all over, but then one of the people that I really hoped to re-gain as a friend, totally ignored me when I was actually helping him and his friends out by getting to warped tour. Granted some of them were my friends to, and I have been mean to both of them also.
I don't want to say sorry anymore but I always let everyone down. That's all I can do. I'm always sorry. Today a friend in dear need of companionship asked me to come over and get drunk but I only thought of myself and how I would most likely be bored and said no.
I have the most awesome boyfrind in the world now, but I let him down in a way too, weither he would admit it or not.
His friends we all leaving for college (like far away) and all i wanted was his attention. I didn't even care that he might not ever see any of them again. And now his friends don't like me, and I added a couple strangers to the always growing list of people who can't stand me. I'm a walking destruction. And again only caring about myself almost got Joey fired. Ops.
Anyway so if anyone did indeed read this....can you do me a favor?
Name one really good song? I am trying to burn a CD and I cannot think of ANYTHING for some reason.
I am sad and I don't know why. I am realizing all of the mistakes I have made, and somehow without even knowing it, let the few people that cared about me down. If I could do life all over again, I wouldn't have been so selfish. I have been a harsh mis-guided teenage girl. That's why people end up hating me in the end of everything. I only think about myself. This whole time I have been trying to be this wonderful person that everyone loves, but in trying to do so I have been lieing to myself, and not being true. Not to myself or anyone else. I thought for a moment in time that all that was all over, but then one of the people that I really hoped to re-gain as a friend, totally ignored me when I was actually helping him and his friends out by getting to warped tour. Granted some of them were my friends to, and I have been mean to both of them also.
I don't want to say sorry anymore but I always let everyone down. That's all I can do. I'm always sorry. Today a friend in dear need of companionship asked me to come over and get drunk but I only thought of myself and how I would most likely be bored and said no.
I have the most awesome boyfrind in the world now, but I let him down in a way too, weither he would admit it or not.
His friends we all leaving for college (like far away) and all i wanted was his attention. I didn't even care that he might not ever see any of them again. And now his friends don't like me, and I added a couple strangers to the always growing list of people who can't stand me. I'm a walking destruction. And again only caring about myself almost got Joey fired. Ops.
Anyway so if anyone did indeed read this....can you do me a favor?
Name one really good song? I am trying to burn a CD and I cannot think of ANYTHING for some reason.