(no subject)
Well, I haven't really written in my journal lately because I started a therapy journal *by hand offline for my own personal use* so I don't really know what else to say here... I'm keeping it open so I can keep up with people, but I'll probably get back into it whenever I get the net at home, it's hard right now. Just so much is going on right now because I don't know. I'm taking new medication and I'm excited about that, and I’m feeling better everyday, too. I’m hoping that this’ll fix me so I won’t have to go to a counselor. It’s been awhile since I’ve said “I wish I was dead” so yeah.
Anyway, I’m waiting on a letter from my baby, and I can’t wait to talk to him again. I don’t know what it is about him, but I can’t get him off of my mind. Even when today that boy that I don’t know’s name was all over me, and we kissed… a nice kiss I may say (I gave him the freaky kiss) I was still thinking about Carlos. I just need some physical contact from him, I’m such a physical person, and the things he talks about it makes it even worse for me. I’m not just talking about sex, I’m talking about kissing and being able to hold his hand and to cuddle with him when I feel the need to. Of course, sex comes along those lines…
I’m just not… too excited about that, not after what happened to me.
I also haven’t talked to Juan for over a week, and I’m proud of myself. I’m going to break soon, but he doesn’t really even talk about anything, and I don’t know what to expect from him at this moment in time. He’s so wrapped up in his new girlfriend, and it hurts me, and when I talk to him- I fall back into a depressive attitude, and I hate feeling that way. The way he treats me is just ridiculous, and I wish that he would understand that that’s no way to treat someone that you used to “love” you know? I’m not going to say that our love wasn’t real, because it was… it’s still there in both of us, but because he feels that way, doesn’t mean that he has to treat me like shit…. I’m going to talk to him about that when I call him, and let him know that just because he’s with that bitch doesn’t mean that he can kick me to the side, and if that’s how it is, then he can say good bye to me.
Anyway, I’m done writing…
Sarah, I’ll call you sometime this weekend mmk I work too much during the week.
I love Carlos...*m*
Anyway, I’m waiting on a letter from my baby, and I can’t wait to talk to him again. I don’t know what it is about him, but I can’t get him off of my mind. Even when today that boy that I don’t know’s name was all over me, and we kissed… a nice kiss I may say (I gave him the freaky kiss) I was still thinking about Carlos. I just need some physical contact from him, I’m such a physical person, and the things he talks about it makes it even worse for me. I’m not just talking about sex, I’m talking about kissing and being able to hold his hand and to cuddle with him when I feel the need to. Of course, sex comes along those lines…
I’m just not… too excited about that, not after what happened to me.
I also haven’t talked to Juan for over a week, and I’m proud of myself. I’m going to break soon, but he doesn’t really even talk about anything, and I don’t know what to expect from him at this moment in time. He’s so wrapped up in his new girlfriend, and it hurts me, and when I talk to him- I fall back into a depressive attitude, and I hate feeling that way. The way he treats me is just ridiculous, and I wish that he would understand that that’s no way to treat someone that you used to “love” you know? I’m not going to say that our love wasn’t real, because it was… it’s still there in both of us, but because he feels that way, doesn’t mean that he has to treat me like shit…. I’m going to talk to him about that when I call him, and let him know that just because he’s with that bitch doesn’t mean that he can kick me to the side, and if that’s how it is, then he can say good bye to me.
Anyway, I’m done writing…
Sarah, I’ll call you sometime this weekend mmk I work too much during the week.
I love Carlos...*m*