I don't think that word means what you think it means
In a community of people where words are the brushes and paints we use to create a picture, you'd think we'd be more careful with words. Or at the very least pay closer attention to them, their usage, and the damage they cause.
We hear, frequently: you don't have to play/write/do anything you don't want to! If you're not having fun, or enjoying yourself, you're under no obligation to continue on with, whatever it is you're doing. If people can't/won't/don't respect that, or you, then you just need to walk away and stop interacting with them.
But, when we do, suddenly we're labeled passive-aggressive, or uncooperative, or the dreaded "that player."
That player that lets what's happening to their character affect them, lets what's happening in the story make them uncomfortable enough to...
You see where I'm going with this hopefully?
We call ourselves a community, we call what we do cooperative storytelling, but for the most part, there's little cooperation.
When someone says, "I do not want to play this" how many of us actually listen to them and back the hell off? Once upon a time that statement was met with "I'm so sorry, here let me..." Now? "I'm sorry, but..." or "lol! They mean convince them to play along!" or even better "oh, they don't mean me/my character/my line!"
Too often, no matter what we say and preach and do, we disregard the feelings of the people who play with or around us in order to dive head long into whatever plot catches our eye. We don't notice, or refuse to notice, their reluctance, or distancing, or flat our refusal as anything having to do with something we may have done.
We've decided that what we do does not affect the feelings of people on the other side of the screen at all. And if it does? Well then, there's obviously something wrong with them. They're too sensitive, take things too personally, yaddita.
And strangely enough, when someone feels slighted, they and their friends clamor for the offending party to apologize, bow down and explain themselves. However, then it's turned around and they're shown to be the ones in the wrong, the people who actually owe the apology to another?
Silence.
We hear, frequently: you don't have to play/write/do anything you don't want to! If you're not having fun, or enjoying yourself, you're under no obligation to continue on with, whatever it is you're doing. If people can't/won't/don't respect that, or you, then you just need to walk away and stop interacting with them.
But, when we do, suddenly we're labeled passive-aggressive, or uncooperative, or the dreaded "that player."
That player that lets what's happening to their character affect them, lets what's happening in the story make them uncomfortable enough to...
You see where I'm going with this hopefully?
We call ourselves a community, we call what we do cooperative storytelling, but for the most part, there's little cooperation.
When someone says, "I do not want to play this" how many of us actually listen to them and back the hell off? Once upon a time that statement was met with "I'm so sorry, here let me..." Now? "I'm sorry, but..." or "lol! They mean convince them to play along!" or even better "oh, they don't mean me/my character/my line!"
Too often, no matter what we say and preach and do, we disregard the feelings of the people who play with or around us in order to dive head long into whatever plot catches our eye. We don't notice, or refuse to notice, their reluctance, or distancing, or flat our refusal as anything having to do with something we may have done.
We've decided that what we do does not affect the feelings of people on the other side of the screen at all. And if it does? Well then, there's obviously something wrong with them. They're too sensitive, take things too personally, yaddita.
And strangely enough, when someone feels slighted, they and their friends clamor for the offending party to apologize, bow down and explain themselves. However, then it's turned around and they're shown to be the ones in the wrong, the people who actually owe the apology to another?
Silence.