Fic: don't go breakin' what you can't fix
title: don't go breakin' what you can't fix
author: acidquill
disclaimer: don't own em.
rating: teen
characters: Dean
summary: Dean doesn't tell his brother everything.
postcard prompt: here, credit for it goes to its creator.
notes: my second entry for spn_secretfic. set during 'Hunted.' hints of dark!Dean, with a twist. lyrics from Linkin Park.
I regret saying those things cuz now I see that I
Took what I hated and made it a part of me
There's this little voice in the back of Dean's head. It's been there for a while, a low, dangerous, hum of things he'd never say out loud. The first time he gave into it was the first time they met Gordon, when he took that vamp's head without flinching. It was the look on Sam's face that finally made the damn thing shut up. But it flared up again and again, and Dean can't always ignore it. The only things that keep it quiet besides Sammy are -- staking that Angela chick back in her grave, drawing a bead on Anson, putting a bullet in those virus infected people back in Oregon.
Everytime Dean thinks he's safe, it comes creeping back. Whispering what he could, should do, like it is the sweetest thing in the world. And right now, that little voice only wants one thing. Kill him kill him kill him kill him.
The second he gets out of this chair, Dean's gonna give it exactly what it's asking for.
The first grenade goes off and Dean nearly loses his mind; the second one goes and there's nothing but that voice, cold and quiet in his head: He killed Sam. Dean's existence narrows to the rope, the chair, the gag. Nothing matters but getting loose.
Gordon's gonna learn, real damn fast, what it means to fuck with a Winchester. Dean will make the man regret every threat and lie Dean's had to listen to since he was captured. Every single goddamn word Gordon's said about Sammy. This is about more than a pound of flesh; Dean is going to take Gordon apart, piece by piece. Dean can already feel the blood seeping between his fingers.
Dean lets Sam lead him away. For right now he'll indulge his brother with the illusion of being a bigger person. Of doing the 'right' thing and letting the law take care of Gordon. Hell, if it makes Sam feel better, Dean'll stand on his fucking head. Doesn't mean he's done with Gordon. One day he'll have the hunter, even if he has to wait until the man gets out of prison. When that day comes, Dean will make damn sure Sam is somewhere else.
And if Gordon doesn't end up behind bars, or if he busts out...well then Dean will have him that much sooner.
Sam blames all the ways Dean is off on not dealing with losing their dad, his inability to accept what John sacrificed for him. A Winchester-sized dose of survivor's guilt. Dean, well he's not so sure. Yeah, losing their dad hurt. The grief carved out a pit inside him that feels like it's big enough to swallow him whole, but that's not all of it.
This is the second time they've heard about a yellow eyed man showing up in dreams. And he's not gonna tell Sammy, but Dean's had a few of those dreams himself. He's starting to wonder if the demon doesn't have its own version of You have to save him Dean. You have to save him...or kill him. Only the demon has made it perfectly clear, it wants Sam alive, but so does Dean.
- end
author: acidquill
disclaimer: don't own em.
rating: teen
characters: Dean
summary: Dean doesn't tell his brother everything.
postcard prompt: here, credit for it goes to its creator.
notes: my second entry for spn_secretfic. set during 'Hunted.' hints of dark!Dean, with a twist. lyrics from Linkin Park.
I regret saying those things cuz now I see that I
Took what I hated and made it a part of me
There's this little voice in the back of Dean's head. It's been there for a while, a low, dangerous, hum of things he'd never say out loud. The first time he gave into it was the first time they met Gordon, when he took that vamp's head without flinching. It was the look on Sam's face that finally made the damn thing shut up. But it flared up again and again, and Dean can't always ignore it. The only things that keep it quiet besides Sammy are -- staking that Angela chick back in her grave, drawing a bead on Anson, putting a bullet in those virus infected people back in Oregon.
Everytime Dean thinks he's safe, it comes creeping back. Whispering what he could, should do, like it is the sweetest thing in the world. And right now, that little voice only wants one thing. Kill him kill him kill him kill him.
The second he gets out of this chair, Dean's gonna give it exactly what it's asking for.
The first grenade goes off and Dean nearly loses his mind; the second one goes and there's nothing but that voice, cold and quiet in his head: He killed Sam. Dean's existence narrows to the rope, the chair, the gag. Nothing matters but getting loose.
Gordon's gonna learn, real damn fast, what it means to fuck with a Winchester. Dean will make the man regret every threat and lie Dean's had to listen to since he was captured. Every single goddamn word Gordon's said about Sammy. This is about more than a pound of flesh; Dean is going to take Gordon apart, piece by piece. Dean can already feel the blood seeping between his fingers.
Dean lets Sam lead him away. For right now he'll indulge his brother with the illusion of being a bigger person. Of doing the 'right' thing and letting the law take care of Gordon. Hell, if it makes Sam feel better, Dean'll stand on his fucking head. Doesn't mean he's done with Gordon. One day he'll have the hunter, even if he has to wait until the man gets out of prison. When that day comes, Dean will make damn sure Sam is somewhere else.
And if Gordon doesn't end up behind bars, or if he busts out...well then Dean will have him that much sooner.
Sam blames all the ways Dean is off on not dealing with losing their dad, his inability to accept what John sacrificed for him. A Winchester-sized dose of survivor's guilt. Dean, well he's not so sure. Yeah, losing their dad hurt. The grief carved out a pit inside him that feels like it's big enough to swallow him whole, but that's not all of it.
This is the second time they've heard about a yellow eyed man showing up in dreams. And he's not gonna tell Sammy, but Dean's had a few of those dreams himself. He's starting to wonder if the demon doesn't have its own version of You have to save him Dean. You have to save him...or kill him. Only the demon has made it perfectly clear, it wants Sam alive, but so does Dean.
- end