Hey hey. -hug- I think you've already recognised the best thing that you can say in this situation - that you care, that she's not alone, that she's still your friend and you still respect and love her and see her as a person rather than as her diagnosis.
This might be a very different situation, but a friend on my course admitted to me that she had severe anorexia a few months ago, and what I found worked best when talking to her about it was to be as normal and non-invasive as possible - not necessarily to avoid the subject, but to ask her questions about it only when she brought it up, to ask when she'd be gone for treatment so I knew which days to take notes for her, to be casual and compliment her clothes rather than her body when she started looking better. Your friend's undoubtedly going through a lot of stress and terrifying shit right now, especially with the mental hospital move, and she'd probably appreciate someone reminding her that she's more than the thing that she's struggling with - that she's talented, that you've got her back like always, that you'll be there to hang out with and talk to when she gets out, etc. I don't have loads of personal experience with this, mind, so perhaps take this with a grain of salt, but some of this sort of approach comes from the no-nonsense, everyday attitude my doctor-of-a-mum (who is very good at her job) takes with her patients.
That said, I think it's wise to remember to draw boundaries and keep yourself safe as well, okay? Ultimately, you can support her to the best of your ability, but obviously, as frustrating as it is, you can't cure her. That's not your job or responsibility. Whatever you end up saying, make sure you're not promising anything more than you're comfortable with, or that you think will be healthy for you to do. Saying you're only ever a phone call away day or night, for example, may sound right for a friend to say, but if it's not something you have the mental and physical capacity to do, don't promise it. It's sort of the difference between fighting this for her and being at her side as she does so herself.
I know this is scary stuff, but be bold and chin up! She's lucky to have a friend like you, and I know you'll say just the right thing. I hope she'll be okay soon.
Thanks (especially for the hug). You're one of the most sensible people I know, so I hold your advice in pretty high esteem! I feel like you're definitely right about boundaries, too. It's just what I needed to hear.
I hope your friend is okay, as well. It sounds like she's in good hands :)
This might be a very different situation, but a friend on my course admitted to me that she had severe anorexia a few months ago, and what I found worked best when talking to her about it was to be as normal and non-invasive as possible - not necessarily to avoid the subject, but to ask her questions about it only when she brought it up, to ask when she'd be gone for treatment so I knew which days to take notes for her, to be casual and compliment her clothes rather than her body when she started looking better. Your friend's undoubtedly going through a lot of stress and terrifying shit right now, especially with the mental hospital move, and she'd probably appreciate someone reminding her that she's more than the thing that she's struggling with - that she's talented, that you've got her back like always, that you'll be there to hang out with and talk to when she gets out, etc. I don't have loads of personal experience with this, mind, so perhaps take this with a grain of salt, but some of this sort of approach comes from the no-nonsense, everyday attitude my doctor-of-a-mum (who is very good at her job) takes with her patients.
That said, I think it's wise to remember to draw boundaries and keep yourself safe as well, okay? Ultimately, you can support her to the best of your ability, but obviously, as frustrating as it is, you can't cure her. That's not your job or responsibility. Whatever you end up saying, make sure you're not promising anything more than you're comfortable with, or that you think will be healthy for you to do. Saying you're only ever a phone call away day or night, for example, may sound right for a friend to say, but if it's not something you have the mental and physical capacity to do, don't promise it. It's sort of the difference between fighting this for her and being at her side as she does so herself.
I know this is scary stuff, but be bold and chin up! She's lucky to have a friend like you, and I know you'll say just the right thing. I hope she'll be okay soon.
Reply
I hope your friend is okay, as well. It sounds like she's in good hands :)
Reply
Leave a comment